I hear Riley go into her room. I assume she's going to bed. To be honest, I could too, but I just don't feel like it. My knee is killing me, for one thing, and I just feel so alone. Riley's being so nice, but as much as I appreciate it, it just doesn't distract me from how I feel.
I turn on my phone. No notifications, as usual. I don't understand why not even one person cares about me, or wants to talk to me. The last time Steph or Giselle came round was months ago, and I want nothing more than to see them again, and talk to them.
But why would they want to talk to me? I was the one who put Steph in B Troupe last year - I didn't even fight for her. I was supposed to be her friend. Well, you were totally a great friend there, Emily. And Giselle, well, Giselle's such an amazing dancer, and person in general, and I think she's meant for better things, better people, than me. I guess they've both got their priorities, and I'm not one of them.
I find myself absent-mindedly clicking on my photos on my phone. I scroll over to my favourites. Looking back at me is a selection of photos of Hunter. The time when Eldon threw a cake in his face. The time he pretended to be a fox - it was something he was helping James with. The picture of me and him at the park. There are so many more, I spend time looking at each one and remember every occasion.
No, I haven't got over him. And, yes, I miss him. And, yes, I have debated asking him out again - many times. But I always come to the same conclusion: he will have moved on by now, and all the memories of us together will have faded or been forgotten.
I just want to let him know I exist, I don't want him to forget me and all the times we had together. It may mean nothing to him, but I want him to know that it does to me. Most of all, I just want to hear his voice, one last time, before life makes me let him go.
Clicking on my contacts list, I scroll down to find Hunter's name. Should I call him? Will he care? Will he even answer? What if he got a new number? I sit on my bed for several minutes, trying to decide whether I want the questions answered. My heart eventually overrules my mind and I click the call button.
I put my phone to my ear and listen. Hearing nothing, I lift my phone away from my ear to check it. A message appears on the screen. It reads 'You have no credit available to do the requested action'. Oh my god! I forgot that I didn't have any credit! But I need to call him.
Should I ask Riley? No, she needs to rest, she's got her audition tomorrow. I really hope she gets it, she works so hard to improve as a dancer and I'd love to see her dance again, because she's just so captivating. Some people do loads of tricks, and yes that's impressive, but others just have a certain ability to convey emotions so well through their dancing, and Riley's one of those people. I'm so proud to call her my sister.
Even though I started dancing before Riley, and she started because of me, I've always known she would be the better dancer. She just learns new things so quickly and can adapt to different styles of dance so well. I can't do that. Well, I couldn't do that, before I got injured, when I could still dance.
Maybe I was injured for a reason, maybe it was a sign. Perhaps people don't want me to dance, perhaps it's just not what I'm meant to do.
I wasn't dance captain because I was a good dancer. I was dance captain because I was bossy, big-headed and selfish - people didn't dare to argue with me. Everyone thought I was good until they realised there was someone better. Perhaps the fact I have no credit is a sign. Perhaps people just don't want me in their lives, and I need to stop hoping otherwise. Perhaps Hunter and I just will never be together again...
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There's chapter 7 :) Did u expect it to be from Emily? Thank you again to everyone who is reading 'I Can't Cope', I really appreciate all the reads, votes and comments! Please continue to do so, if you feel my story deserves it :D
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I Can't Cope (COMPLETED)
Fanfiction'Why does everything keep reminding me of the past? I don't want a repeat and I certainly don't want to be reminded. It hurts too much. One more thing and I might just be pushed over the edge...' Everything always looks fine from the outside. Riley...
