From the streets

Chapter 15

So August didnt show up. Am i upset ? Nope. What makes you say that ? Ofcourse i'm not upset. I am infuriated!

Breathe Mya...Breathe... maybe.. maybe whatever he was "doing" was extended.

Doesnt mean he cant call!! What are cellphones made for?! Style?! No!! Communication!

I'm sorry i just... wanted to spend quality time with August but instead i get to spend quality time with his sister in law and her kids.

I just made it home thanks to becca. She told me it was 8:30.
It was soo late and i didnt realise that i was suppose to be home around 6 until i heard my dad ask "why are you home so late ?"

"Why are you in my house ?" I answered back. He sighed.

"I keep trying witchu ... what do you want from me Mya?! I'm trying!"

"You know all you've ever done was talk. Talk talk talk what else besides that have you done ?"
Silence.

"How am i suppose to try more when your not even willing to talk to me "

"I hope you know its only because i'm hurt... you made me feel like i was the scum of the earth ..you left and started a whole new life without me...and then what 7 years later your back wooohooo i forgive you ? No. Thats not how it works dad. Put yourself in my shoes .. how would you feel ? Huh ? How would it feel when someone you love so much abandons you and then comes back and wants you to forgive them in a heartbeat ?"
I was breathing heavely after my speech.

Just thinking about how he left me..was making all upset. The pent up anger i had ...i wanted to hate him...but i just cant.

"I'm sorry" he whispered. His voice held emotion in it.

"Then prove it"

I headed up to my room and hopped in my bed. I had no idea what i was gonna do.

God
Do you think my dad loves me ?
Yes

Why would he leave me then ?
Nobody is perfect.

Aah but he still hurt mee...
I knoww..but he's back now ..appreciate what you have atleast he came back.. atleast he is trying some fathers dont come back at all.

Now its too late
Oh you know its never too late... and you know you want to forgive him but its just your pride blocking you from my blessing to come.

Remember you sinned almost everyday and yet i still manage to forgive you ..its because i love you.

In the daily prayer says 'forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us' which means you gotta forgive him in order for me to forgive you.

I know...

Forgiveness is also for yourself.. you know..

some people are miserable because they wont forgive but you Mya you're too beautiful for that .. i cannot bear to see you cry over the same thing i want to bless you but you have to move on and let the past be .. we cant change the past anymore.

Look at the brighter side of things.. you got to know who i am . You trust me . You' encourage other people that they can be better. I'm using you to save others who need help. You have grown into a beautiful young lady. You found August. You've learned alot about independance.

Point taken.

Goodnight...

*Bap* *Bap*
I jump up in fright. What was that ?
Excuse me but i am a serious coward. No joke. Right now i'm thinking about it being a robber..but then why would he knock ?
Robber out.