Bungou Stray Dogs Oneshots (Reader Insert)

Dazai x Immortal!Reader

[Your POV]
I've had enough. This life is slowly pissing me off. How long am I supposed to exist at all? I stopped counting decades ago. At first I loved my Ability of being immortal, but after seeing my family, friends and more people die, I am just sick of being alive.
Why can't I die already? Tch, suicide maniacs would be proud if they had watched my attempts to kill myself. That fucking Ability of mine refuses to grant my wishes. But seriously, what do I have left in this world? I am alone. Alone since my husband, children and grandchildren died. Though it felt kind of odd to see my grandchildren looking older than me. I don't age and I can't die..
Today is one of the many days I try to kill myself, the good old drown in the river. Even though I already know it won't work, I'll try nonetheless since my hopes never vanished. So, I jumped into the river and waited. How many days would I last until someone sees me here and helps me out? Of course I never felt more alive than this. Gnah, this is so frustrating..
[Normal POV]
Dazai escaped from the Agency after Kunikida made him work on a big pile of paperwork. The dark haired male managed to give Atsushi his work before he disappeared. Enjoying his 'free time', he walked around to look for a nice place to kill himself. "Maybe I should myself drown in the river~ This time it'll work for sure." Dazai sang and was about to jump, when he saw another person in the river. "A fine young lady tries to kill herself? WITHOUT ME! I can't leave her beautiful body to die alone!" he yelled in a heroic pose and jumped after you.
After he got you out of the river, you sighed and looked at the male. "Thanks for interrupting dumbass. I hoped this time it would work.." you mumbled, sitting next to him. Dazai watched as you pulled your knees to your chest and buried your face between them. "You remind me of myself young lady." he chuckled and remembered his first meeting with Atsushi where he said almost the same phrase. "Young lady..? Wow.. I'm flattered." you chuckled sadly. Dazai blinked. "What's your name? I don't want to address you just as young lady." he said. "[Y/n]. And if you would know my exact age, your eyes would pop out." you sighed. "What a beautiful name~ My name's Dazai and a sweet young lady such as yourself must have a good reason to kill herself. How old are you, if I may ask?"
"How old would you guess?" you asked him. Dazai put his finger under his chin, thinking for a bit. "Roughly 25 at most." he suggested, making you laugh wholeheartedly. "Oh.. wow thanks. Well, I reached 190 last year I think. But I stopped counting long ago." you snickered. Dazai's face fell instantly and he was not sure if you were joking. "Are you serious?" he asked, blinking in surprise. "Yeah.. You see my Ability makes me immortal. I can't die and I don't age. It's so frustrating.." you sighed, a few tears streamed down your face. Dazai was unsure how to respond, so he took a bandage from his arm and dried your tears. "Maybe I can help you." he said with his usual smile. "I have an Ability too. I can nullify every Ability with a single touch." he explained.
Your eyes went wide. "Is that true..?" you asked, taking his hands in yours. Dazai smiled and nodded. "We can do a lovers suicide together!" he chirped, his eyes glimmering with delight. You chuckled a bit. This stranger was weird but very handsome and charming. "Sounds like a plan. Why do you want to kill yourself though?" you asked him. Dazai smirked. "It's kind of appealing to have a perfect and beautiful suicide. I don't care what others think if I only can die in piece with the person I love."
"..and yet you ask a complete stranger to do a lovers suicide? Do you even know the meaning of 'love?" you asked him. Unlike him you experienced true love and the death of your lover pained you so much, that you never loved again. "Of course I do! But that doesn't matter. If I find a fine lady, that has the same wish, pure love will grow." he nodded as if he was dead serious. You chuckled. It was a while since someone made you smile but somehow Dazai was very charming. Though it may not have been his intention at all.
"Don't give me that look [Y/n]. I know it seems odd from a stranger, but I am serious. Let us die together, yes?" he asked with a childish voice. You sighed. "I am not your lover, but I want to die as much as you seem to. Let's die Dazai-san." you smiled, making his heart flutter in anticipation. "YAY!"
„NO. Nobody dies here." Dazai froze and he looked slightly behind him. You saw a blond guy with glasses, stomping his foot angrily. "Kunikida-kun you have the worst timings to show up." Dazai sulked, turning away with crossed arms. You blinked and looked between both males. Kunikida approached you and pulled Dazai up by his collar. "I am sorry miss. I hope you don't feel harassed by this idiot. My deepest apologies. Say sorry too, bandage-wasting idiot." Kunikida hissed.
"I am sorry.. that I hadn't met you sooner my dear [Y/n]-chan. Wait for me, then let us di- ah Kunikida-kun that hurts!" Dazai wailed when he was pulled back by his partner leaving you dumbfounded. After you regained composure you smiled at yourself and recalled your meeting with this strange person. He was kind of refreshing in your lonely life. Maybe it wasn't that bad to be alive.
Time passed and you found yourself in Dazai's company often. Whether you met him during an attempt to kill yourself, or he found you strolling through the park, looking for stray cats to feed. You enjoyed his company a lot and with the passing of time, Dazai and you got closer. He rarely suggested a double suicide anymore which made you wonder since he talked about nothing else in the beginning. So, Atsushi was sent to your side to take care of both of you; ensuring that you two were not doing something in that way. "Ne, [Y/n]-chan, Dazai-san stopped trying to kill himself for a while now. I think you are the reason for that." Atsushi smiled, making Dazai blush and cover the poor boy's mouth. "Shuush Atsushi-kun." Dazai whispered, being unusually nervous today. "I am?" you chuckled, being in a much more good mood lately. "Haha Atsushi-kun's just kidding. I try to kill myself almost every day." Dazai chuckled, putting his arm around you. That was something he did often. You are so close to each other that you didn't even notice when you hug or made fun fights with him ending up hovering over you.
"Without me..?" you asked, more jokingly. Dazai chuckled and pressed you closer to his body. "Of course. I can't let such a woman die. That'd be a sin." he breathed near your ear. Atsushi smiled and remained silent, being happy for Dazai to finally find someone who changed his will to die. "Then it would be sin if you die too Dazai-kun." you answered, laying your head on his chest, feeling the warmth that radiated from him. The taller male chuckled more and raised your head by putting his index finger under your chin. "Don't say such cute things [Y/n]-chan." he smirked, his lips slowly closing the distance between yours. "But it's the truth." you said, smiling.
For a few moments you looked at each other. It was like a magic moment, only you and him. You felt a gaze on your form, as well as Dazai, so you both turned to Atsushi who was watching you with the biggest smile ever. "You are so cute together." he admitted, making you both blush. "Atsushi-kun I think you should go for a while~" Dazai sang, waving his hand to motion the boy has to leave. "I'm sorry but Kunikida-kun ordered me to take care of you." Atsushi said with an apologetic smile. "But you can get us some ice cream yeah?" you asked him.
Atsushi blinked, before he nodded. "I'll be right back. Don't even think of running away!" the man tiger smiled and ran towards the ice cream vendor. "Alright, let's hide before he comes back." you whispered. Dazai chuckled and took your hand, running away to the park. Finally some privacy with the man you loved. You never thought you would feel this way again, but it happened.
"So.. how about a lovers suicide now?" you asked, trying to get to know if he really changed his mind. Dazai sighed, dropped himself on the meadow and pulled you to his lap. "I'll repeat myself as much as you want [Y/n]-chan. I won't sin by letting you die. You're a precious, pure soul that has to be protected. So make sure you found another protector after I die some day." he said, being dead serious. His tone made your heart clench and you grabbed his vest. "No.." you whispered. Dazai blinked. "I never want someone again after you die. So please Dazai-kun, use your Ability as long as we live so we can die together when we grow old." you murmured, looking up to his surprised face. "Are you sure?" he asked. You smiled. "In my entire life of 190 years have I ever been that sure." you said, making Dazai blush at your resolved face.
Dazai remained silent before he smashed his lips against yours in a slightly forceful kiss. You were taken aback by this at first, but recovered eventually and kissed him back. He held onto your hips and deepened the kiss, making you gasp when he bit your lower lip for entrance. It kind of surprised you that he was that aggressive, but it seemed he had these urges for a while now. To finally make you his. A burning sensation in your lungs caused you to pull away, breathing heavily at that heated kiss. "I suppose this is a yes, Dazai-kun?" you chuckled. Dazai smiled when he cupped your cheek with his smooth hand. "I never thought I would ever say this, but.. I want to witness endless years with you. Never in my entire life have I felt this way. I love you, [Y/n]-chan. I love you so much, that it almost hurts." he joked, hugging you tightly.
"Dazai-kun, I love you too. Moreover, I want to spent the rest of my life at your side. Never leave me, love. Nullify my Immortality and die with me after a long, fullfiled life." you said, making him smile and blush. He kissed the top of your head and rested his chin on top of it. "I promise."
Atsushi stood a few meters away with ice cream, smiling softly. How would you have ever guessed to experience pure love again? And who would have guessed someone could change Dazai's principles?
END