33 Days To Live (Under Revision)

30

I was happy, blissfully happy. This past month I felt like I had been carrying a heavy burden on my shoulders and even though it was still there, I was doing better then I had been this morning. When dropped me off, I practically skipped into my house and gave my dad a big hug and kiss on the head.

"Mama Mia ragazzo! Why so happy to see me? Are you on the drug things?" He asked, grabbing my arm to stop me before I could escape upstairs.

"Of course not dad, I just had a really good day." I smiled. At that my dad smiled to, in relief it seemed.

"Good, I'm glad your day went well. Go do your homework," He said and with that my arm was released and I rushed up the stairs, taking two steps at a time.

When I got to my room I ran over to my desk to pull out something much more important then homework, the list I was following to help Lucy. Once I had spread it out neatly on the wooden surface I grabbed the nearest pen and scratched out 'help Lucy make friends' because after today I was positive I had accomplished it. After I had scribbled it out, I sat back in my desk chair.

I had made incredible progress this past week, progress so wonderful I felt like singing but I wasn't going to allow myself to celebrate yet.

Things could still take a turn for the worst.

I didn't want to think about the worst, it hurt to much. I had become so used to making Lucy the focus of my day, I couldn't imagine her suddenly not being there. I knew I wasn't going to forgive myself if I failed her, I wouldn't be able to.

Some people would call my mission obsession, I preferred the term dedication. It was the least I could do for her after being so cruel to her in the bathroom, gosh, I needed to find a way to apologize for it. I just didn't feel like the moment to do so hadn't come yet, so until I was sure it was there I would pour my heart out about how bad I felt. Until then I was going to continuing doing what I was doing.

Suddenly then my thoughts were startled by Rachel knocking on the door and letting herself in.

"You're supposed to wait for someone to say 'come in' when you knocked," I said, quickly hiding the list in my draw then spinning around in my chair to look at her.

"I knew you were clothed and I doubted you were smoking pot or something." Rachel shrugged as she walked over and sat down on my bed.

"Whats up?" I asked, trying to hide how badly I didn't want to talk to Rachel. She only came in my room when she wanted to discuss something and I knew this was going to be one of those moments. It kind of made my mood plummet a little.

Rachel sighed heavily as she settled into a comfortable crossed legged position. "Ben, we need to talk about this whole me moving thing, you can't avoid it forever," She said softly. I just looked down at my lap and used my heel to twist my chair back and forth. "Dude, c'mon. Don't give me the silent treatment. I know your upset and I don't blame you but you can't hold this against me." She pressed. Finally I managed to force myself to look up at her.

"I don't...I'm happy for you...I just...I wish you weren't leaving so soon. Call me selfish but I need you Rachel." I admitted, my voice scarcely above a whisper.

"I know Ben. Your my little brother and I take that responsibility very seriously. Right now, right now though we're both in places in our lives where we need to grow up a little. Just because I won't be physically here doesn't mean I won't be there for you and you can come visit me any time." She promised, which made the knot in my stomach loosen a little bit.

"I want you physically here, I'll miss you to much," I said, my heart aching.

"I think you think you need me here because that's all you know. I'm sure your going to be fine without me." She then smiled softly. "I wasn't going to give this to you until I left but I can live without it for a week."

At that I looked at her curiously.

"Give me what?" I asked and she got up before gesturing for me to follow her.

"Come on hither little brother," She said and far to excitedly I followed her out of my bedroom, downstairs and outside to the front yard.

"I don't understand," I said upon closing the front door and she stuck her hand in her pocket and pulled out the keys to her car before tossing it to me. Rachel wasn't one for purses, she put everything in her pocket.

"Keys?" I asked in confusion as I caught them.

"Yeah, your going to need them if your going to want to drive your new car," She said and I swear my eyes bulged out so far they almost fell out.

"What? Wait! Wait! Are you...are you giving me your..." I almost couldn't say it, "your car?" I gasped, to which Rachel responded with a wide smile and a nod.

"I know its kind of a girly color but you can always used the money you saved to repaint it or-" before I let her finish though I tackled her in a bone crushing hug.

"Thank you! Thank you! Oh my gosh thank you! I can't believe your giving me your car!" I then pulled back to look at her.

"Are you sure? Are you positive about this?" I asked in frantic excitement and she laughed.

"Calm down Ben, yes I'm sure. I won't need it in the city and I have no where to store it. You need it more then me," She said and I screamed like some fangirl in excitement as I tackled her in another hug.

"Thank you! Thank you so much! I'm totally fine with you leaving now!" That wasn't necessarily true but it did make the burden easier.

"Geez, thanks Ben. Love you to." Rachel giggled before pulling back once more. "Now you can come visit me whenever you'd like and have a little more freedom." She informed.

Now that did truly make me happy, I couldn't feel more blessed that I had an amazing older sister like Rachel because I was.

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Whoo! I made it to chapter 30, that probably means I'm actually going to finish the story and being able to carry through a story idea is always a big accomplishment for me! :) It's nice having writing as an escape, especially during stressful days and I discover so many cool songs each chapter from trustingly clicking on playlists on YouTube and Pandora!

What's your favorite song?

-Mari.