33 Days To Live (Under Revision)

36

As I walked through the front office to get Oscar's I felt my heart pounding in my chest and I had to focus hard on controlling my breathing so he wouldn't know how nervous I was. In the past couple of weeks I had been summoned to his office many times but I wasn't half as worried.

I think the reason I was right now was because I wasn't sure what to expect.

"Come on in and sit down," He said as he let me walk inside before shutting the door then taking a seat across from me.

"Am I in trouble again? I just got out of detention and I really don't want to go back," I said worriedly. Oscar just shook his head as he smiled a little.

Whew, a smile, a smile was always a good sign.

Right?

"No, your not in trouble, I just wanted to ask you a couple of questions and express a concern." He informed. That unfortunately didn't ease the way my stomach was churning.

"Alright, shoot." I managed to squeak and Oscar cleared his throat.

"I'm worried about your intentions with Lucy and I'm saying this as her father and as the school counselor. I know your not a bad kid Ben, or in as bad of a place as you were a couple of weeks ago but your still going through a hard time," He said cautiously and I frowned but let him continue. "And I'm concerned you may be latching onto someone as naive as Lucy to use her to forget your problems." He finished, making a lump of anger grow in my throat.

"I'm not using Lucy, she's my friend and I care about her and trust me when I say she isn't naive. She sees things as they are very clearly," I said firmly. I wasn't sure why but it made me beyond angry that Oscar thought I was just using Lucy to forget about my problems, I wasn't doing that and even if I was they're the type of problems that are almost impossible to forget.

"I think your wrong Ben, Lucy is naive about a lot of things. Such as her schoolwork for example, all she ever does is her art instead of studying and that's why she struggles to pass."

At that I shook my head fast.

"Lucy tries very hard with her schoolwork, we study together all the time." I insisted, trying to keep my voice leveled but it wavered a little.

"I know you both do and I appreciate that. Please don't argue with me Ben, I'm her father and I know more about her then you do," He said, an edge of warning in his voice. If only he knew how much more I knew about her then him.

Before I revealed something by accident though, I decided to drop that part of the argument.

"Look why are you worried about my intentions with her? I have no plans on getting her into bed and I keep her safe when she's with me. Is it because I'm a teenage boy and supposedly irresponsible or do you have a valid reason to be concerned?" I asked, not caring how inappropriate my question was.

At that Oscar furrowed his eyebrows and sat back.

"While she may seem fine, Lucy is still sensitive deep down and I'm worried you might have a romantic interest in her and I don't want her heart broken."

Fortunately I managed to hold my tongue for a moment so I could think about my response carefully. I wanted to yell at Oscar and tell him that clearly Lucy wasn't fine, it was so obviously in your face I can't believe a trained counselor of all people missed it then I wanted to tell him that yeah I was interested in Lucy romantically but I had no intention on putting her fragile heart at risk. Instead though I exhaled slowly.

"Lucy is a really good friend Oscar, I care a lot about her and I'm not going to do anything that would put her at risk emotionally or physically," I said, deciding not to directly say whether I was interested or not.

"Good, I'm glad you feel that way." He then sighed deeply. "Please don't be offended by any of this Ben, I genuinely like you and I appreciate how happy you make Lucy, I'm just worried about the outcome of your involvement with her. Before you came along she seemed to finally be in a good place and even though she's in a way better one now, I still worry about her losing all of progress." He sighed.

I suddenly then felt my anger be replaced by compassion for Oscar.

He genuinely cared for Lucy it seemed and he had no idea that Lucy had set a date to end herself. I hated to think that he wouldn't have seen it coming, no one would have.

"I know Oscar, I worry about her to." I mumbled, feeling a bit of a weight being lifted off my chest by admitting it. I wouldn't dare tell him the truth about the journal but it felt nice to say you were worried.

Oscar then rubbed his temples.

"I know her and Wally aren't my kids but I love them both so much and I will do anything to protect them. Its just hard earning Lucy's love when I'm replacing a deceased parent," He said softly and I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach.

He died?

Lucy's biological dad died?

How?

When?

I think when my expression dropped Oscar realized he had revealed some really personal information.

"I'm sorry, that an inappropriate thing to get into with you." He apologized quickly. All I could do was slowly shake my head.

"No...no...its alright. You need to get it off your chest." I then forced a weak smile. "Don't worry, I'll keep your secret." I promised. Oscar just shook his head at me as he smiled weakly as well.

"Does...does Lucy ever talk about me? Say anything worth knowing about?" He asked. I didn't have the heart to tell him that Lucy had very little to say and when she did have something to say it wasn't very nice.

"Nothing of substance but I think you need to give her a little more credit." I admitted. Nodding Oscar then nodded towards the door.

"Thank you Ben, I appreciate your maturity, your free to go and tell the receptionist to write you an excuse slip so you won't be counted as tardy," He said and I nodded as I got up.

"I will, thank you for expressing your concerns. I'm glad we could come to an understanding."

And with that I quickly left the room.

After going to the receptionist I made my way slowly down the hallway but halfway to homeroom I made a last minute turn and walked outside to the courtyard to get some fresh air.

I needed to take a well deserved moment to recompose myself so Lucy wouldn't see the pain I felt for her in my eyes.

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Hellooooo everybody! I have successfully survived working a double and going to Six Flags water park all on 9 hours of sleep, I think I deserve free red bull or a million dollars for that to be honest, it was hard! I had so much fun at Six Flags though and my friends let me listen to the Alexander Hamlinton soundtrack! I never knew a history rap musical was possible and could be so flawless!

-Mari.