33 Days To Live (Under Revision)

26

When I had to say goodbye to Lucy at the end of the night I felt an odd type of disappointment I had never felt before and a refreshing rush of excitement at the prospect of seeing her in the morning at school.

Unfortunately that event was prolonged because we got a heavy rainfall overnight and there was some flooding on the roads so school got delayed a couple of hours.

So I decided to go visit Luke for the first time that week after I finished doing my show that morning.

I still hadn't decided how to get my ratings up and the stress from it was painful, but I wasn't going to let eat me alive just yet. I'd think of something eventually, I had to. I also had to talk to Rachel at some point, another thing I was unfortunately having trouble doing. I was relieved she was just giving me space until the matter was ready to resolved, it ever.

When I got to the hospital I met with the familiar smell of band-aids, nurses doused in perfume and bleach from recent cleaning. It made me sick to smell it, so I always tried hard not to breath through my nose when I first walked through the door. That's not as easy as you'd think.

''Hey Ben, haven't seen you all week. Everything going well?" The lady who managed the front desk asked upon me approaching her when it was my turn in line and I smiled politely.

"Its going," was all I said and she nodded with a sad smile.

"That's better then not.'' She then turned to her computer.

"Are you here to visit Luke?" She asked and I nodded.

"Alright sweetheart, you know the drill," She said before handing me the clipboard so I could sign in and get my visitors badge.

By now almost everyone in the hospital knew about what had happened with Luke and my involvement in saving him. You'd think I'd be devouring the attention, but it was quite the opposite, I dreaded it. It was the kind of attention one didn't want, an emotional kind that overwhelmed you and made you wish you were invisible.

Especially when you were the one to blame for the terrible thing.

Even though I tried not to think about it to often, it was my fault Luke decided to drive in the race. If only I hadn't been so selfish, then maybe my best friend would be with me right now. At the same time though, if he hadn't been in that accident then perhaps I wouldn't have found Lucy's journal?

As awful as it sounded, that could make the accident a blessing in disguise.

"Hey, loser. I see your still sleeping in on school days. Not cool man we've all been up for hours," I said upon entering the room, the only answer I got though was the beep of his heart monitor.

Sighing heavily, I walked over to the chair pulled up at his bedside and sat down like a limp doll. Luke's facial injuries looked better. His cuts had almost finished healing, making him look a little less broken and the small patch of hair they had shaved to examine his head injury was growing back. If he had been awake I would've told him how dumb it looked and made jokes about it until he laughed.

Gosh I missed running my jokes by him, Luke was like the brother you always seeked approval from.

Feeling my chest ache a little I leaned forward and rested my clasped hands under my chin.

"So there's this girl named Lucy I've befriended, she knows you apparently and I'm mad you didn't tell me how awesome she was you jerk." I then proceeded to tell Luke the whole story of how I met her, starting with the fight with Jamie all the way up to last night.

By the time I had finished I was rubbing my face in frustration.

"She's difficult Luke, she's really difficult and I think she does it on purpose. After last night though, I can see how vulnerable she really is. She needs me, she needs me bad." I laughed.

"That sounds pretty conceited right? Crazy even. Gosh Luke, sometimes I wonder why I think I'm worthy of saving her, of showing her why she shouldn't end it all. I'm no saint and the most I know about life is where the parties are at and how to use Pokemon cards. Somehow...somehow though I feel like a greater force, maybe Yoda or something, put her in my path and they knew I was going to take care of her. They knew I wasn't going to let that girl die without a fight." I felt my bottom lip wobble a little.

"I wish you were here to help me Luke, I miss you so much I feel like I can't breath. I don't want you to die because of me, I was kind of hoping you'd outlive me, ya know to write my biography and s-stuff." I could feel my throat closing up.

"But n-now...now...your here on this bed...because of me...it shouldn't be you...it should..." I then found hot tears stinging my eyes as I grabbed his arm and hugged it.

"It should've been me...Luke...it should've been me..." I managed to choke out.

After that I just sat there in silence, trying to get control of my spiraling emotions as I wished upon every star I could remember the name of that he'd just wake up already. I knew the penalty for someone that wouldn't wake up from a coma, I couldn't go there in my head though.

So instead I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to think happy thoughts, the only one coming to mind though was the paper clip war between Lucy and I last night.

I knew it was dangerous to let someone be your sole happy thought, but if she was to be mine then so be it.

_______________________________________________________________________
Hey guys! So really awesome news, I think your all gonna freak out because I know I did!

So yesterday a book scout from a publishing company wrote message me and she said REALLY liked 33dtl so far and when the story is finished she wants me to submit it to their editor at the publishing company! If they like what they read THEN I MIGHT GET A PUBLISHING DEAL FOR 33 DAYS TO LIVE GUYS!

I almost didn't tell y'all because I didn't want to get your hopes up but this is big news for you guys to because you were the ones who are voting and commenting and got the book noticed! And even if it doesn't work out, I'm still eternally grateful!

Also, thank you to everyone who voted for the first chapter of my story Frog Lips for the OnceUponNow writing contest! :D

-Mari.