Something Borrowed

Chapter 16: Close

I was lulled back to consciousness by the sound of a rhythmic, monotone beeping. I flexed my fingers, opening a heavy eyelid as my eyes searched the small, white room. I reached for my forehead and immediately regretted it, feeling dizzy.

"What the-"

"She's awake!" A feminine voice chirped as an older nurse came into view. Her silvery hair framing her round face, her green eyes soft and kind as she regarded me. I cocked my head to the side before I registered that I was in the hospital.

"What am I doing here?" I asked, frantically looking around, trying to sit up, but she pushed me back against the bed as a concerned look passed her face, the erratic beeping to my left setting off buzzers around the room.

"Calm down, honey," she whispered as I fought against her hold. "My name is Cathy, can I check up on you?" She asked as I quit resisting her. "Can you tell me your name?" She asked, distracting me as she studied the charts on the wall.

"Astoria Blair Well-" I paused, watching her cautious eyes. "Woods. Astoria Woods," I said in a flat tone, the beeping beginning to slow down.

"When is your birthday?" She prodded as she flashed a light in my eyes.

"I-it's in June, June 6th," I responded as my eyes scanned the room. It was rather small, very stark. The walls were white and white curtains hung over the windows. The back wall was all glass, revealing what appeared to be a waiting room. Two women sat behind a desk, furiously typing away at their screens. I was in a doctors office? A hospital? I craned my neck around to the table beside me. My eyes widened a fraction as they settled on the glass of water, crackers, and bouquet of roses.

Yellow roses.

My heart sank as she lifted my bed so that I was sitting upright. She instructed me to stare straight ahead, but I couldn't stop focusing on the roses, my breath becoming shallow as my eyes frantically darted around the room. Rafael. Spain. Nathaniel. The baby. The baby. I struggled against the cords, remembering what happened before-

"Where's my baby?" I said frantically, watching Cathy with wide eyes. "Where's my baby!" I shouted, my vision blurring, as I already knew the answer. It was too early. "Oh God, oh God, oh God, no!" I sobbed, beating my fists on the bed as I remembered everything with vivid clarity. Rafael's panicked voice on the other end of the phone. The pain. The blood. The blood. I felt faint, sweat forming on my cheeks. There was so much blood. I struggled as a pair of strong hands immobilized me, stopping my wild movements. I looked up and saw Nathaniel with the same pained expression that I imaged was on my face. I sat still, staring up into his somber brown eyes, flecked with unshed tears. It was like my entire body froze, the world seemed to stop as I took in his rugged features. His hair looked as though his fingers had ran through it nonstop since he woke up. His cheeks were peppered with stubble, something he rarely sported.

But he still looked handsome. His white button down shirt was halfway unbuttoned, revealing his toned chest. His dress pants hung off his hips in that way that always made my heart melt a little bit. But I couldn't think of how incredibly handsome he looked, standing in front of me as the yellow roses stayed in my peripheral vision, reminding me of what had happened-what I lost.

When he embraced me I didn't fight him, I felt sobs wreck through me as I leaned into him. His hand curled around the back of my head as he pulled me into his chest, sitting on the edge of the bed beside me, pulling me into his lap as I screamed, helpless, letting the pain wash over me like a typhoon. His embrace seemed almost robotic, as if he was unsure if he should hold me, but I couldn't pay any mind to it as I sobbed harder and harder, mourning the child I'd never get back.