Something Borrowed

Chapter 15: Choices

I sat on the edge of the pool, my toes dangling in the water as I looked out at the rising sun. My chest steadily rose and fell as I recovered from my early morning run. I wiped the sweat from my brow, grinning out at the winding trails on Rafael's property that we had traversed. Every morning for the past two weeks we have gone for runs together before sunrise, before he goes to work. Rafael offered to take me to the company with him, but I quickly shot down the idea. The rumors that would circulate at the sight of Rafael and I together, in Spain, would send everything in a tizzy.

After our run Rafael made us peanut butter English muffins as I changed into a black bikini, eager to get in the heated pool to warm up. Rafael had such a kind heart and such a soft spot for me, the past two weeks with him have been like what I had always imagined what living with Nathaniel would be like. It has been a fairytale. He spoils me, too much sometimes, with his generosity and big heart. He is careful to make me feel comfortable and welcome.

We have fallen into some sort of a system the past few weeks. We go for a run, we eat breakfast, he goes to work and I occupy myself at the house until he returns, and then we have dinner. Rafael is a wonderful chef. He made us homemade lasagna and it was by far the most wonderful thing I had ever eaten in my life. He just keeps continuing to surprise me. Since I arrived, he has stayed in my room until I have fallen asleep to make sure I'd be alright, and a few of the mornings I'd woken up to be greeted by his warm embrace.

A part of me felt guilty about enjoying Rafael's company, and the other part of me reveled in it. Ever since Nathaniel introduced us Rafael and I have been rather close. We get along like best friends-a part of me almost wishes that I had met Rafael first. Maybe all of the drama with Portia could have been avoided-maybe I could be happy. But of course, I knew what I was signing up for, granted Nathaniel never let on how serious he was about her until after he found out I was pregnant. Rafael understood the promise that I made to Nathaniel-he knew what he was getting into by protecting me.

He hadn't once asked me about Nathaniel, and for that I was grateful. I had not received a single text or call from him, or any indication he was worried about me. I was relieved to know he was leaving me be. I preferred being separated from my chaotic life, even if it was only for a few more days. I like being just Astoria. Being Mrs. Woods is such a trying feat most days, it hurts just thinking about returning to him and having to face her again.

To no ones surprise, when I did not arrive at the party, Portia was photographed on his arm all evening with that smug smile she so loosely threw around to anyone with a camera. I wanted to be jealous, but I couldn't bring myself to be jealous. I was the one who intruded on their happiness. I was the one who ran away to Spain. If I wanted, I could have been beside him; instead I chose to run away to Spain with Rafael. Actions have consequences.

I settled my hand on my stomach, sighing. Rafael said that I needed to take some time for myself, but I hated being alone. With him gone most the day and the maid, Lana, only coming by every three days, I was alone most the day. Lana and I had gotten along rather well since Rafael introduced us when I first arrived. We cleaned the house up together and then we fixed lunch and talked until Rafael arrived home.

And when Lana is not around, I keep in correspondence with my mother. She did not condone my actions, but she also didn't condemn them, which gave me a sense of comfort. As much as I hate admitting it, we are one in the same. I used to think my mother was crazy for staying with my father for as long as she did, but I see her side clearer now. The collateral damage from a divorce is devastating, and the publicity is bad for business. It's easier to live separate lives than it is to live miserably together-it's easier to preserve the marriage if we don't see each other.

My stomach tightened and I let out a shallow breath, squeezing my eyes closed. I'd been having abdominal pains all morning, I took a Motrin this morning, but nothing seemed to work. Rafael told me to stay in bed for the day, but I can't stay in the same place for long, I feel restless in this big house alone. I gnashed my teeth together as I rose on unsteady feet, walking into the foyer before a crippling wave of pain washed over me collapsing on the ground, grimacing.

I felt a warm liquid between my legs and I let out a piercing scream. I couldn't bear to look as I dialed the only number I knew as I seized up, pulling on the hem of my shirt, trying to diffuse the pain as I arched my back.

"Astoria?" The panicked voice said on the other end.

"Rafa," I said in a labored breath. "I-I think I'm losing the baby," I said between gnashed teeth as the phone fell from my hands. I screamed, tears running down my cheeks as I gripped onto the rug beneath me, grimacing at the mess around me, tremors racking through me.

"Not my baby," I whispered to no one in particular as I closed my eyes, resting back against the floor, sweating as my stomach lurched. "Please, not my baby," I repeated as I stared up at the white ceiling, letting out one last piercing scream. "Save the baby," I pleaded as my vision began spotting.

"Astoria!"I heard a voice call in the distance as I fought against unconsciousness, buteventually the darkness won over as I felt myself being lifted up off theground. "Stay with me Stor," the voicepleaded as I tried to nod my head, but I couldn't move. And then all at once, I was submerged intonothingness.