Something Borrowed

Chapter 46: warning signs

I found love where it wasn't supposed to be.  With my ex husbands best friend. In a place I never should have revisited-with my ex husband.  With the man I used to know.

I fear that I have fallen once again, for the man that was Nathaniel Woods.  I see glimpses of the man I used to think he was when we first started courting.  I see the genuity in his affections and the intentness in his stare as he accompanies me to functions.  I see his desire to be something more than just a business partner.

He is part Petrova and part Woods.  Simultaneously soft and kind and cold and unfeeling.   He will never be Rafael, and I will never be the Mrs. Woods he wanted, but somehow, we are boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past, like Daisy and Jay.  We are toxic for each other, but we are incapable of resisting the other.

When he looks at me, and I look at him, there is something irresistible standing between us.  A pull that no matter how hard we try to resist, it will always be there.  We are two projectiles destined to collide.  And when we collide, everything is at risk.

He will always be mine and I will always be his.  Rafael's absence has brought us closer.  he craves his best friend and I crave a husband to love.  I have Lana, and Lucie, and Catalina and Daphne and my parents, but I always want more.  It's a habit of mine.  I always want more, and Nathaniel, undoubtedly, every time I ask, gives me more.

With Portia out of the picture, things have been less tense.  Our banter more provocative and less strained.  Neither questions the others sincerity because we both know that there is one goal clear: we both need a partner to secure the company.  Two unmarried CEO's looks bad for publicity.  Two divorced and unmarried CEO's  makes for an even wore sell.

So, it would make sense for a union, or even a marriage by one party or the other.  But neither of us has made a move, too fearful to lose the good humor that is now.

"Nate?" I called, his nickname sliding off my tongue effortlessly, like sweet, cinnamon fireball, warming my stomach and burning my throat.

"I'll be there in one sec A.B," he called, making my cheeks flush as I fixed a loose curl, delicately pinning it back off my neck.

"Your parents will be waiting for us," I reminded him, grinning as I could almost feel the dread pouring off of him.  his mother had been pressuring him to re-engage with me, and his father had a stern attitude towards him since we'd been spending time together once more.

Everything was not that different from how it used to be, and at the same time, everything has changed.  Nothing is the same.

I have matured.

Nathaniel has become more forgiving.

I know the type of person he is.

He knows the woman that I am.

And yet, knowing all we know, we are trying again.

We are watching it begin again.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and craned my neck, feeling a brush of cool metal on my collar bone.  I closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling of his fingers softly brushing the back of my neck as he fastened the clasp.

"You look so beautiful tonight," Nathaniel whispered, fixing his tie as I let my fingers graze the necklace, feeling a smile pull on my lips.  It was the first piece of jewelry he had ever bought me. A delicate, teardrop diamond necklace on a thin, shimmering silver chain.

"You look handsome," I said softly, straightening my shoulders, letting my eyes assess his khaki pants and white button up shirt, rolled to his elbows.  "Mr. Woods," I teased, faking a curtsey as he grinned, one of his dazzling smiles, taking my hand in his.

"I believe we are expected at Catalina's baby shower, dear," Nathaniel said with a grin as I nodded, adjusting my black and white pattern knee length dress.

"Are you driving or am I?" I asked as we walked into garage.  Nathaniel shrugged as I reached for the Bentley keys.  "Get in, we're going for a ride," I teased, watching a cheshire grin spread on his lips as he ran around the car, sliding into the passenger seat as I got in, revving the engine, giddy from the intoxicating purr of the engine.

"It's at Casey's at the harbor," Nathaniel reminded me as I grinned at him, pulling down the driveway.

"I know, Nate," I said in a singsong voice, putting the convertible top down, rolling to a stop at the end of the driveway.  "You ready?" I asked, pulling on my sunglasses, grinning mischievously at him.  He nodded as I slammed down the gas, pulling out of the driveway.

"Slow down!" He howled as I took a sharp turn at full speed, letting out a ringing laugh.

"Trust me, Nate," I hollered as he reached for my hand, squeezing my fingertips.  "I won't let anything happen to you."

"Promise?" He teased as we crawled to a stop outside of the restaurant.  I nodded as he leaned across the center consul, pecking my cheek.

"Let's go congratulate the mama to be!" I teased, getting out of the car, waiting for Nathaniel to come to my side.  We walked into the restaurant and were greeted by the hostess, who directed Nathaniel towards the mens parlor and I followed the feminine shouts from the patio.

I took a deep breath, looking out at all the girls chittering and laughing, surrounding a glowing Catalina.  I couldn't fight the grin on my face as I looked to them.  I missed them, undoubtedly, I missed them.

"You're home," I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see George grinning at me, a fresh set of soft wrinkles dusting the corners of his eyes as I embraced him.

"I'm home," I whispered, unable to fight the tears that welled up in my eyes.  "I'm home," I repeated, catching a glimpse of Nathaniel over his shoulder with a drink in hand, talking to Dayton Mayfield, Daphne's husband.

Nathaniel craned his neck for a moment, catching my eyes, sending me one of his heartwarming grins as I smiled back at him, tearing my eyes away and George held me at arms length.

"Are you happy?" George asked.

If he had asked me this question one year ago at Rafael's funeral.  Undoubtedly, I would have responded no.  But now, today, I can undoubtedly say yes.

"I am happy, George," I whispered, watching his lips curl up at the edges.

"Astoria!" I could hear Daphne and Catalina calling from the other side of the doors.

"That's my cue," I said meekly, watching as George's eyes widened, as if saying good luck before he kissed my forehead, leaving me to the girls.

"Come on!" Margaret called, making my heart flutter at the sight of her as I excitedly pushed my way through the doors, immediately swarmed by their glowing faces.

"You're here!" Daphne exclaimed.

"I'm here," I repeated.

"Guys, my sister is here!" Catalina called out.  "This is Astoria," she introduced as the girls all nodded and said their names, of which, I remembered none.  I watched as Catalina sauntered back into the crowd, gushing over everything her husband, Henry, had done for her during the pregnancy.

"It's nice to see you here again," Margaret said from beside me.  I nodded my head, my eyes following everyone around the room.

"It's nice to be back," I whispered, unable to stop smiling.  "It's good to finally be home again."