Hey, readers! This imagine is dedicated to @jjfleming. I really hope you like it! So, yeah lets just start with the imagine... :D I imagined the song Thinking of you while writing this. So listen to the link while reading it.
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I walked up to my mirror looking at the picture I stuck on it. His emerald green eyes. His dimpled smile. His blood red lips. Him. I touched it. Smiling to myself. I looked down at my dress. Black. I looked at my reflection, dark circles were clear under my eyes. They hadn't gone for years now. Years of my deprived sleep alone.
"Jillian, come down. We should go", my mum said in a hushed voice but enough for me to hear.
I looked at the picture again and a tear slipped down my cheek. But I quickly wiped it. I had made a promise I wont cry. I will keep my promise.
"Mother, do you think he'll be fine", I asked her. Hopefully yet hopelessly.
"Oh, honey, I don't know really, all we can do is wish for the best", she said. She didn't understand. How would she? She had lived with her love for her whole life and still is.
I stepped into the car and went to the address given to us. I didn't know why I was called but whatever it was I needed him to be safe. And I wished he'd keep his promise.
I reached the address and stepped out of my car. I looked around. People were crying, some were hugging their family members like if they'd let go, they wont be able to see each other again. I looked around for someone to guide me to him.
"Where can I find Harry Styles", I asked a man. He looked at me and walked me to a place. I looked at a stretcher in front of me. I laughed at him.
"I asked for Harry Styles", I said.
"He's there", the man replied pointing somewhere. I looked at the direction he was pointing to and saw a man bringing another stretcher. I read the tag on the foot of the stretcher.
"Harry Edward Styles". It said. I walked up to the stretcher annoyed by the sick joke everyone was playing with me. I pulled the blanket of the face of the body.
And there he lay, so lifeless. But so at peace. Like he was happy. Happy to leave. I saw the stitches on his chest. This was no joke. It was happening. It was really happening. I couldn't control myself. I couldn't control my tears. I couldn't stop myself from breaking into pieces. I couldn't stop my heart from shattering into a million pieces to never mend again. So I broke my promise. I poured my heart out right there and then. I cried. Helpless. Broken. Shattered.
"You promised", I yelled.
"You promised you wont leave me! You promised you'll stay forever! How could you!? You're selfish! You left me here! You left me to die in misery! You promised", I cried, yet again.
"Why did you leave me? I needed you! I needed you to be here". I said hoping he would wake up from his deep slumber and say that it was a joke. A sick joke that I'd rather accept than reality. It's true how people say: Reality is cruel. Better live in a lie, than reality. But his body didn't move a single inch. My knees gave up I had no strength left. I had no will to live any longer. I had no one. But him. And here he is so lifeless.
I pinched myself to wake up from my nightmare. Hoping it was just a nightmare. But nothing changed. I didn't wake up. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to find my mum in tears. I got up.
"Please mother, tell him to wake up! Tell him to stop playing this joke. Tell him that its getting sick", I begged her.
"Jillian, this is no joke. This is reality", she said. I turned to look at him.
"You promised", I whispered, still hoping it was a joke. But I knew better. I hugged him for the last time and kissed the tip of his nose. I remembered the memory of him laughing whenever I did that. It felt like just yesterday. But it had been months since I heard his laugh, months since I saw him smile.
The man pulled his stretcher and I tried to stop them but my mum stopped me.
"You have to let go". she said. That was it. That was my breaking point. I couldn't let go. I let reality sink in me. I let reality ruin me. I let the feeling of emptiness take me forever in its hold. I looked at him one last time and I remembered the dreadful poem I had written because of my sadness.
There he lay,
So lifeless,
So broken,
Making me stay,
With a hope unspoken,
He promised,.
He'd be back,
But something,
It lacked.
I waited for him,
Staying up until the lights go dim,
Making me believe in Hope,
I wish he climbs up the rope,
I stand here,
Looking out in the night,
Hoping to see him by dawn's light.
(This poem is written by me. And me only. Please don't take this poem. :) I really appreciate the cooperation )
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All the love is appreciated.
S. x
