Mary's POV:
It's been three weeks since we ended things between us. I'm not feeling as bad because I haven't told many people, so I don't have a bunch of people asking me what happened. I've pretty much only told Mom, Sarah and James; I assume Ashton already knows. It really doesn't feel like we broke up, I just haven't talked to him for almost a month. I'm really surprised by how well I'm taking this.
Having people around me who aren't treating me like a ticking time bomb but know what to do to distract me helps. I know I'm going to get through this and after an appropriate amount of time, I can go on with my life, I guess.
Luke's POV:
It's almost been a month and I haven't heard a single word from her. The guys are treating me like I'm some nutcase who could snap at any given moment. I'm not locking myself in a room by myself anymore. I try to stay with the guys as long as possible so I can laugh and feel better. No doubt she's found a way to move on, she's probably so crammed with work she doesn't have time to think about anything. She'll have no problem finding someone who comfort her and be there with her at the times she needs someone. It pains me to say this, but I want her to move on. She would want me to if the roles were reversed. We may move on and see other people, but I know we'll both save a small part of us for the other.
Mary's POV:
I get a small box and put his few things he left behind in it. I have shirts, bracelets, and a few pictures of us. I take the back of the picture frame off and take one picture for me, saving the other for him. I fold the letter I wrote him and slip it in between the folded paper. I don't really want to bring any attention to myself by pulling up in my car, so I walk.
When I get there, I sneak up on the porch and sit the box at the top of the steps. I start to think I've successfully returned his stuff when I hear the for open.
"Great." I mumble
"Hey Mary." I hear Audrey say "I didn't know you were coming by."
"I was just dropping somethings off." I say, motioning towards the box.
"Oh, why?"
"Do-do you not know?"
"Know what?"
Well that answers my question.
"We...we broke up." I say, kicking at a pebble
"Seriously?"
I nod
"I'm sorry, we didn't even know. Luke never told us."
Hearing his name makes me flinch a little.
"Yeah, he had left some things at my house, you know how he is. I don't know if this is permanent or not, but I brought them by just in case."
"Okay, I'll put them in his room." She says, picking up the box
"Hey Audrey, could I ask you to do something for me?"
"Sure."
"Could we just keep this between us? Let him tell them when he wants to."
"Okay, I will."
I start to walk down the sidewalk.
"Hey," she says "I just want you to know, we won't have anything against you. I know I don't. I might have done the same thing if I were you."
She turns around and goes inside without saying anything else.
For the past two weeks it has been cold and rainy. It starts to drizzle, so I put my hood up and start walking to the store. I told Mom that I plan to get a place of my own before I finish college and I asked her to let me be more independent so I can get used to living on my own. That means I do my own laundry, wash my own dishes, buy my own food, etc. I've realized I need to grow up, I'm not a teenager anymore.
I grab a can of Spaghetti-O's and a drink and pay for it. I walk home, which feels nice. When I get there, James is sitting on my front porch.
"What are you doing here?"
"Well, I saw your car was here and thought I'd drop by. It's been a while since I've seen you and I need to talk to you."
"James, it hasn't even been a week since the school year ended. We don't have any reason to be together anymore.
Wait, I didn't mean for that to sound the way it did. What I'm trying to say is...I know what's going on. And I'm flattered but I just don't think it's been long enough for me to see someone else. I think you're a great guy, and I think-"
"We should just stay friends."
"For now. Please don't get me wrong, you're very attractive and you deserve to be given a chance, but I don't think right now is the right time."
"Okay," he says, stepping towards me, "I won't push you. Just hear me out. You've driven me crazy since the eighth grade. It was like you were on a string and whenever I'd get close to you, you'd get yanked further away from me until eventually you were with him."
"I'm really sorry. Like I said, it's not that I'm not attracted to you, I'm just going to be honest and say that I've started to think about you in a different way within the past few months. I just can't do it, not right now."
"I just," he takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes, "I want to be given a chance. Not out of pity but because you want to spend time with me. When you decide you want to, give me a call."
He storms off the porch and down the sidewalk.
"I'm not angry," he calls back, "I'm just doing this for dramatic effect."
I stand there, watching him walk away but he comes back.
"I saw your pill box last time I was here. I didn't want to say anything, but you need to take those pills."
He walks away and it starts to rain even harder, so I go in and make my dinner. I'm feeling really confused, so I call Sarah.
"I need to rant." I say as soon as she picks up
"Okay, what do you need to rant about?"
"Okay so I ended my one and only relationship of my life not even a month ago. I come home and I find James on my doorstep. He tells me that he wants me to give him a chance, but he doesn't want me to do that until I'm ready. I feel like I shouldn't be over this so fast. I mean, the first relationship I had ended after four long years. Should I be okay? I've never experienced a break up before, so I have no idea if what I'm feeling is normal."
"You're taking it really well. You may not notice, but you don't really react to things right away. You know how to compose yourself. And if you feel like giving James a chance, do it!"
"I just feel like a heartless...bitch."
"Don't. You're just responding to this in a constructive way. You haven't quit living, you haven't binged on ice cream and watched sad movies. You're reacting in a healthy way. Go out with James, please."
"You would have flipped the other day."
"Why?"
"Well, it had all just happened and I didn't have anywhere else to go so I went to his apartment. He was so worried about me and wouldn't let me leave until I was feeling better. He cares."
"You see, you need to give that boy a chance."
"I might consider it. I just don't know when it's acceptable for me to."
"Give it a week. Think about it. Then let him know, don't leave him wondering."
"I won't."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
"When you tell him can I be there? Or in the car or hallway? Wherever you're going to do it?"
"I guess, but you'll have to hide behind a plant or something."
I think about it. I really think about it and I consider everything. I decide that there's no harm in going on one date with him. But I think I'll wait until tomorrow to tell him. I don't know why, but today just doesn't seem like the right day to do it. I decide to tell him in person, so I can see the look on his face. I know he's wanted this for a long time now.
*
I put some effort into looking nice today since it's a big day. Sarah tags along with me and she looks like a kid who's excited to go get ice cream or something. We go to his apartment again and I knock on the door.
"Go get 'em tiger!" She says from behind the fake tree near his apartment
"Shut up!" I whisper
As soon as I turn around he opens the door and he's shirtless again. Does this guy ever wear clothes? I hear a loud thud but I don't look back.
"Hey!" He says, smiling
"Dude, seriously, do you ever wear clothes around your house?" I regret saying 'Dude' as soon as I say it
"Not really. Come in."
I walk through his door and he leads me to the couch.
"Please tell me you're here for a good reason."
"Yes, it's a good reason this time."
I sit there and try to prepare some kind of way to tell him what he's been wanting to hear.
"So, I have something important to tell you. The last time we talked, you told me that you just wanted me to give you a chance. Not out of pity, but because I want to. I want to give you a chance."
"Really?" He asks
"Really. I don't know if this will go anywhere but I want to make it clear that I'm not just doing this."
"I-I can't believe this. Are you serious?"
"Of course I'm serious."
He gets up and walks around.
"I can't believe this."
"Did you think I wouldn't give you a chance?"
"Well, no. But I wasn't 100 percent sure you would."
"Well, I am."
"When do you want to do it?"
"I don't believe I've been asked on a date. I was only asked to give you a chance."
"Oh," he looks down and seems to suddenly realize he doesn't have a shirt on,"I'll be right back."
He goes upstairs and when he comes back he's fully clothed.
"Okay, so..." he takes a deep breath, "would you like to go on a date with me?"
"I'd love to."
We talk for a while and then I decide to go. He walks me to his door.
"I'll see you Saturday? Is 4 okay?"
"That's perfect."
"See you then. Hi Sarah." He says, waving towards her 'hiding spot'
She awkwardly gets out from behind the plant and waves.
"See you Saturday."
He closes his door and Sarah jumps in the air, squealing while doing her happy dance.
"Did you see him? Man, I wouldn't mind tap-"
"Nope, we are not gonna go there."
"But did you see him?"
"Yeah, I saw him. It's not that big of a deal."
"How can you be so calm about this? The dude you're going on a date with has the greatest body in this whole world!"
"Okay." I say, not really understanding why she's so excited
"You could potentially see more of that body!"
"Who says I haven't already?"
"Oh," she says, sounding taken aback by that, "you have, haven't you?"
"Why do you keep putting emphasis on all your words like that?" I say, starting to walk to my car
"Because, I'm excited." she says, putting emphasis on ever word
"Okay, but stop. It weird a me out a little."
"When the hell did you see him shirtless before this?"
"Last week." I say, getting into the car
"What? You- what? You've got to tell me these things!"
"I didn't think it was important."
"Not important? It's important to me!"
"Okay now you're just doing it on purpose."
"You're not getting it!" She says, frantically slapping my arm
"Yes, I get it. You think that I'm going to think he's hot just because he has a nice body. That doesn't matter to me, I guess it's just something that is considered a bonus. I find Luke attractive and he-
Never mind. I'm just not going to like someone because of their body. You can have an extremely attractive body and be a dick. No one likes guys who are dicks. I like James because he's really positive and he helped me feel better. End of discussion."
She doesn't talk about it again until we're almost to my house.
"Just how did he get a body like that?"
"Are you still hung up on that?"
"You bet I am."
I get out of the car and start walking up the sidewalk with her.
"You can thank years of baseball."
"Okay you need to stop before I go into cardiac arrest. You still haven't told me how it went."
"Oh, he asked me if I would like to go on a date with him and I said yes."
"Look at you getting back into the swing of things."
"It's only one date," I say, "and besides, it probably won't go any further than a date or two."
"You see? Like I told you, life goes on. When is your date?"
"Saturday. He's picking me up at 4."
"This Saturday? What are you going to wear?"
"I don't know, I'll probably decide that Saturday morning."
"This is no time to be procrastinating! You have to figure out how you're going to wear your hair, if you're going to wear makeup, how you're going to do your nails, you have to shave, make sure your eyebrows look good-"
"Woah, I have plenty of time to get ready considering the date isn't for another four days. It's a date, not prom. Plus, I'm just going to do everything the way I usually do and be myself."
"Fine, but at least let me be there when he picks you up."
"No, my mom will already be home, I don't need both of you there to intimidate him."
Luke's POV:
I really hope she has already moved on, I know I haven't. I can't stop thinking about her, which has caused me to be distracted lately. I miss her so much.
I hear a knock on my door and look up to see Calum.
"Let's go out and do something tonight." Calum says
"Like what?" I ask
"I know where we can go."
"Where?"
"I know this place. You don't get carded either."
"I don't know..."
"Come on, Luke. You've been moping around for the past month. You need something to get your mind off of it. No one is going to attack you for moving on."
"No, but I'm pretty sure Ashton wants to kick my ass."
"Maybe, but she is his sister. He wants to protect her. I know if someone upset my sister, I'd want to kick their ass too."
"Yeah I know. He won't even look at me."
"It's a big brother thing. You're the youngest and you don't have a little sister, so you wouldn't understand."
"I still don't see why he wants to kick my ass. She agreed to break up. It's not like I cheated on her and then dumped her."
"You still upset her."
"You know what? I'm done with this." I say, throwing my hands up in the air
"So you'll go with us."
"Sure."
An hour later I'm standing in a crowded room full of people I don't know with loud music I don't even like.
"Hey Luke!" I hear Michael shout over the music "That girl over there has been eyeing you ever since we got here!"
"Okay?!"
"Go talk to her!"
"I can't!"
"Why the hell not?!"
"I forget how to talk to girls!"
"Just be yourself! Actually, be your less awkward self!" He says while shoving me
I scoot through everyone and finally make my way over there after ten minutes.
"Hi, I'm Luke!" I shout
"Hi!"
"Can I buy you a drink or something?!"
She nods and I do.
"Sorry to ask, but how old are you?!" She asks
"20!"
"Okay!"
"Listen, my friend said you were looking at me!"
"Yeah, I was!"
"Just checking to see if he was fucking with me or not!"
She laughs.
"What?!"
"Nothing, it's just you're pretty cute!"
"Oh, thanks! You're pretty attractive yourself!"
"Do you want to get out of here so we can hear each other?!"
"Sorry, I can't!"
"Why not?!"
"Well, I'm kind of in a band and we decided we wouldn't leave!"
"That's too bad! Here's my number in case you want to talk again! See you later!"
She scribbles her number on a napkin and walks away. I make my way back over to Michael, but he had disappeared. I start to feel irritated from being alone around all these strangers.
With no one to distract me, my thoughts start to wonder back to her.
Is she in the same shape I am, or is she better? Has she moved on? Is she sitting at home or out having fun?
I feel a hand on my shoulder and look back to see Calum.
"Where you been?!"
"Standing here!"
"Come over here!!"
I follow him to a lounge area. The only open seat is next to Ashton, so have to sit near him. I can feel the tension.
We start talking about a bunch of things and I start to think things are good between us. I lean over to talk to someone and he taps on my shoulder.
"I need to talk to you!"
"Okay!"
"Not in here! Let's go outside."
We walk outside into an alley where there aren't any people.
"There, that's better. I was about to snap in there." He says
"What do you want to talk about?"
"What happened to you guys?"
"I don't know," I shove my hands in my jacket pockets, cross my ankles and lean back against the wall, "we just had a falling out. We realized we needed a real break."
"Yeah, I figured it was something like that."
"Look, I know you want to kick my ass, but I can explain."
"I don't want to kick your ass. I want to punch you in the face right now, but I wouldn't go as far as kicking your ass."
"Look, if I upset her, I'm sorry. I just wanted what was best for her."
I can tell he's angry by the way he looks at me.
"Okay," he says nonchalantly, "if you say so."
"Wait, so I'm not getting punched?"
"Not today."
"Not today?"
"Yeah, but make one wrong move," he says, getting closer to me, "and I will kick your ass? Is that clear?"
"Crystal."
Mary's POV:
"What time do we need to be up tomorrow so you'll be ready by the time he gets here?"
"I don't know," I say, shrugging,"I planned on getting up at my normal time and getting ready at about 1:30."
"1:30?"
"Yeah, it doesn't take me four days to get ready."
"But-"
"And I shaved, moisturized, and checked my eyebrows while I was in the shower."
"And what about your hair?"
"I'll wash it tomorrow, blow dry it, and straighten it."
"Don't straighten it!" She groans
"Why not?"
"It's not your natural hair!"
"So?"
"Leave it curly, I think it's prettier like that."
"But it gets so frizzy plus it looks shorter when it's curly."
"Make sure you smell good," she says as I walk over to my closet, "and make sure your bra matches your underwear."
I turn around and look at her.
"Hey, it's part of the Girl Code."
"I don't think I'll need to worry about that."
"Okay, whatever. What are you wearing?"
"I don't really know," I say, "I asked him the other day and he said to dress casual. Where do you think he'll take me?"
"Probably the movies or something like that."
I pull out all the shirts I have and lay them on my bed for her approval.
"No band tees," she says "no plaid or flannel, you look great in them, but not tomorrow."
"But I love my flannels and my band tees."
"Too bad. Why don't you wear a dress?"
"I don't own one."
"What?"
"Come on, you've been my friend for years, you know I don't have any dresses."
"Do you have anything that isn't a band tee, flannel or black?"
"Not really."
"Okay," she sighs "do you own anything besides jeans?"
"Sweat pants."
"Oh dear Lord," she says "okay. Um, what about shoes?"
I point to the shoe boxes under my bed.
"Vans and Chuck Taylors...that's it?"
"Pretty much."
"Have you not changed your wardrobe since high school?"
"Nope."
She takes a deep breath and slowly exhales.
"It's not going to be hot tomorrow, so you could wear a sweater."
"Nah, I'm not really in a sweater wearing mood."
"Work with me here."
"Why don't you just think up some outfits and I'll try them on?"
"I guess I could do that."
First she picks out a t-shirt with a surfing logo on it (even though I don't and can't surf) jeans with holes in them and my vans.
"Lose the shirt but keep everything else. Try this shirt on."
She has me try on a gray flannel shirt.
"Keep the shirt and jeans but put on your black Converses."
I do and then she tells me to put a tank top on under the flannel and leave it unbuttoned.
"I think you should leave it buttoned instead. Perfect."
"Thanks."
"Let's just hope he doesn't wear a flannel shirt too."
That night I can't go to sleep. I can't stop wondering about what will happen. What will it be like? Will I be nervous?
I feel my eyes get heavy so I shut them. What feels like seconds later, Sarah is waking me up.
"Wake up! Today is your big day!"
"No," I groan, "five more minutes."
"We don't have five more minutes! Wake up!"
"It's too early for this crap."
"It's 9 o'clock!"
"Okay, I'm up!"
I walk into the bathroom, brush my teeth and wash my face and hair.
"You act like today is the day I go to the moon or something."
"I'm just excited for you."
"Yeah, okay." I say, almost falling asleep
"Mary!"
"What? I just wanna take a nap."
"No time for naps."
*
That afternoon, at exactly 3:59 pm, he pulls up to the house.
"He's here!" I hear Sarah squeal
She and Mom start running around, making sure my breath smells good, my shirt isn't wrinkled and my hair isn't sticking up. I hear him knock in the door.
"Go!" I whisper, motioning them to the kitchen
I open the door and he's standing there with flowers.
"Hi!" He says
"Hi!" I say with a small smile
"You look nice."
"So do you."
He's wearing a red button up shirt, jeans and Vans, so he really does look nice.
We stand there for a minute, not really knowing what to do.
"These are for you." He says, awkwardly holding out the flowers
"Thank you," I say, "white roses are my favorite."
"I'm glad. I couldn't decide which color, but I chose white roses because I thought of you as soon as I looked at them."
"Thank you. Do you want to come in while I put these in some water?"
He follows me into the kitchen, where Mom and Sarah were obviously eavesdropping.
"James, this is my mom and you know Sarah."
"Hi." He says while slightly waving
"Hello."
"Hi."
I put the flowers down on the counter and look for a vase.
"Roses are her favorite," Mom says behind me, "they have been since the first time she watched Beauty and the Beast."
I finally find a vase and put the flowers in it.
"I guess we should get going." I say
"Okay," Mom says "have fun."
He follows me out of the house and I let out a sigh of relief when we get outside.
"What's wrong?" He asks
"Nothing, I'm just happy to be out of there. Every time I do something normal, they always overreact."
"Oh. You look nice."
"You've said that already."
"Oh, sorry." He says, pushing up his glasses
"So where are we going?"
"I thought..."
"What?"
He points up to a window and I see Sarah watching us.
"Sorry about that. She get last really excited about things like this."
"Oh okay. I thought about maybe going to the movies and then getting some dinner. Is that okay with you?"
"That sounds great."
He drives to the movies and I let him pick the movie. We walk into the theater and choose a seat. Not even twenty minutes into the movie, I feel his arm slide around me. I decide that there's no harm in it, we are on a "date." Then a few minutes later he pulls his arm back.
"Sorry." He whispers
"It's okay."
An hour later I feel his hand graze mine. I don't know if I should hold his hand or not. I don't but then I start to think about how that makes him feel. I probably hurt his feelings but I just don't know if should hold his hand. Before I realize what I'm doing, I slide my hand into his without looking at him. I see him look down at his hand out of the corner of my eye and a small smile spreads across his face. I don't want him to get the wrong idea, but continue to hold his hand through the rest of the movie.
When it ends we go to this small restaurant. I sit down in a booth and he sits across from me.
"Have you ever been here?" I ask, trying to strike up a conversation
"A few times."
He's acting weird, not really weird, but shy. He's never really shy around me.
"You know, I'm nervous too."
He looks up at me.
"I'm not- I'm not nervous." He says, pushing his glasses up
I want to point out to him that pushing up his glasses, which is what he just did, is a nervous habit of his, but I decide not to.
"Oh, I guess since I'm nervous, it seems like you're nervous."
"Why are you nervous?"
"It has just been a while since I've been on a date, that's all."
"Oh, I couldn't tell you the last time I went on a date."
"Really?"
"Really."
I can tell he is nervous, so I try to get him talking about something he likes.
"So what position did you play in baseball?"
He seems kind of shocked that I'm so interested in the fact that he played baseball.
"I mostly played catcher, but I would play third base if they ever needed me to."
"That's cool. I could never play catcher, too much squatting."
"It helps," he says, "I never had to worry about my jeans being too baggy in the butt."
I'm not sure if he was joking or not, but then his eyes scrunch up and he starts laughing.
"Do you like watching baseball?" He asks me
"I'd rather actually be at the game than watch it on TV. But yeah, I do."
"You should come over sometime so we can watch a game together. If you want."
"Yeah, that would be fun."
"I don't ever remember seeing you at any games in high school."
"I didn't really go to things like that. I think I went to one or two football games the whole four years."
"I'm sorry I talk about baseball so much. I probably bore you."
"No, I don't mind. I love talking about baseball. If you were to be talking about your collection of rocks or something, it would be a different story."
We get our food and eat. When we get finished, it's only seven.
"It's too early to go home," I say, "unless you want to go home."
"No, we can do something else if you want."
"My mom goes to work at eight, and Sarah said she was going to leave when Mom did. We could go back to my house, or we could go to your apartment if you want to."
"Yeah, we can go back to my place."
We get to his apartment building and make our way up to his floor. While he's looking for his key, an elderly lady opens the door across the hall.
"Hello James."
"Oh, hi Mrs. Burkes."
"Is this your girlfriend?"
"No ma'am, just my friend."
"Okay, behave young man." She says, adjusting her glasses
"I will Mrs. Burkes. Have a good evening."
He gets his door unlocked and we walk in.
"'Behave young man?' What's that about?"
"I honestly have no idea, she just tells me that every time I see her. I play along though."
"Oh. That's sweet of you to play along."
"I figure since she's nice to me, I should be nice to her."
We stand there awkwardly in the living room, not really knowing what to do.
"Listen, about tonight...I don't want you to get the wrong idea about all of this."
"I know."
"I just don't want you to think we're going to get into something more than a friendship. If you were to think that there was a chance we could become romantically involved with each other I would just feel like such a horrible person because I made you get your hopes-"
He quickly pecks me on the lips. It's nothing big, just his lips lightly grazing mine, but I feel a rush of adrenaline surge through my body.
"Up." I finish
"Sorry, I had to do that. Just to see how it felt."
I step back.
"I'm sorry. It was too soon wasn't it?"
"No, I was just shocked."
"Oh...did you feel anything?"
"I don't know," I lie, "but I think I better go home."
We walk out the door we just came through and he drives me home in silence.
"When can I see you again?" He asks as he pulls in front of my house
"I'll let you know."
He walks me to my door and I can barely get my keys because my hands are shaking.
"I had a great time tonight." I say
"Yeah, me too."
"I'll see you later."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Bye."
"Bye."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
I unlock the door and stand behind it after I close it. I go to the window and peek out to see if he is still there. I see him facing my door, standing with his hands shoved in his pockets, hanging his head.
AN: PxnicAtTheMuke you thought you were gone but I brought you back :-)
