*two weeks later*
Luke's POV:
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, I'm serious. We'll need you back as soon as possible. Who knows if you'll even go back home."
"But we've only been back a few weeks."
"Get used to it. If things go right, you won't be home for months at some times."
I hang up.
Great. Things were starting to get back to normal. Looks like I'll have to just up and leave again.
I call Mary to break the news, but she doesn't answer. I call her again and she answers.
"Don't even tell me, Ashton told us."
"Mary-"
"We can't do this. I can't do this."
"Well...why don't you just come with me? We can find an apartment in L.A., we'll work something out."
"I can't..."
"If you change your mind...tell me."
"Since you leave Saturday...can I come over Friday night?"
"Sure, we can hang out and...you know..." I clear my throat "do...stuff."
"Sounds good."
"See you then."
"Bye."
"Mary?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Mary's POV:
I've made my mind up, I think it's time.
Luke and I have gotten serious. I know I have problems with intimacy, I mean come on, I almost spontaneously combusted the first time he touched me in any romantic way. But I don't know what to do, Luke is the first guy who has ever really been interested in me. I guess I could talk to Mom...even though it will be weird.
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"Can I talk to you?"
"Sure."
"Not in the kitchen though...it's a bit..."
"Oh...ok."
We go up to my room and sit in my bed.
"What is it?"
"This isn't easy, but I guess this is normal."
I take a deep breath.
"Luke is leaving and he's shown he's committed. Things are serious, he's been talking about marriage since our first kiss. He knows what he wants...but I don't. I just don't know if the time is right-"
"Are you talking about sex?"
"Well...uh, I, uh guess that could be taken from this."
"Well you see it's like this. He takes this and puts it here and you feel some things and then there's the finale where-"
"Whoa, no. No, no, no, no. I just- no."
"Is that not what you were asking?" She asks calmly
"I'm almost 19 years old, Mom, I think I know about," I stop and whisper "sex."
"Then what are you asking?"
"I'm asking if you think the time is right. Luke is the first guy to show interest in me, but I have...intimacy issues."
"If you want to...go ahead. Who's stopping you?"
"Me, Mom. I'm stopping me."
"You'll figure it out, and decide for yourself."
"You know, I shouldn't have said anything."
She leaves and I lay across my bed, my thinking position.
How am I going to do this? Should I? I mean, if I were to get pregnant, I'd have to quit school. And the baby would never see Luke. But who says I would get pregnant? Who says I'm even going to do what you have to do to get pregnant? It's not like I'm going to make a list of pros and cons...that's something I would do, but I'm not going to.
I have a few days to think about it. What if I decide I want to, and Luke doesn't? He said we could do stuff. What exactly is 'stuff' and is his definition of 'stuff' the same as mine?
It's not like we can hang out, sitting on his couch and I say 'Hey Luke, I finally overcame my fear of intimacy and we can have sex right now.' I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.
My thoughts are disturbed by my phone ringing. I swear, if it is Luke this will be the most awkward conversation I have ever had.
Sarah?
"Hey, long time no see, or talk."
"Guess what?" She screams
"What?"
"I'm moving back home!"
"What?"
"I'm moving back home! By myself."
"So are you going to have an apartment?"
"Well, actually, I've been here for a week, I just didn't tell you because I wanted to surprise you!"
"Wait, so you're already here?"
"Yup!"
This couldn't have happened at a better time.
"You wanna come over?" She asks
"Sure, I'll be there in a few."
*
She opens the door and I run up and hug her while she screams.
"It's been forever man!" She says
"I know!"
We walk into her living room and sit down on the couch.
"Sooooooo?" I say
"Sooooooo?" She says back
"What have you been up to?"
"Well, I've been looking for a job here, but I've had no luck."
"Why don't you apply for a job at the bookstore I work at?"
"You think I can work there?"
"Please," I say "if I can, you can."
We sit in silence until she perks up, like suddenly she remembers something.
"Do you remember that guy...Michael?"
"Yeah."
"He lives right across the hall."
"That's cool, I haven't really seen him lately, even though he is Luke's friend."
"Speaking of Luke...how are things going?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know, are you two still..."
"I guess you could say we're still together. I honestly have no idea how this is going to end."
"Does he still give you the butterflies?"
I plop back on the couch, "Every time I look at him my heart hurts."
"Have you guys...you know...bow chica bow bow?"
"I swear if you weren't my best friend I would punch you in the face for asking that."
"Well...have you?"
"No...almost, once."
"You better hop on that honey because if I had someone who looked like that interested in me, I'd tap that every day of the week!"
"I seriously do not know why I'm friends with you." I joke
"Because you love me."
I'm just so amazed by our friendship because we can go forever without seeing each other and act like nothing has changed.
"Sarah, I need to ask you something."
"Shoot."
"Do you think...is it appropriate to, you know, want to do that?"
She fake gasps "It most certainly is not."
"Sorry, that was weird. But I tried talking to my mom but..."
"Yeah, probably wasn't a good idea."
"No. It was not."
"I think you should try." She wiggles her eyebrows
"I'm going to hang out with him Friday, since he leaves Saturday."
"Oh, are you now?"
"Yeah but I don't really think that would be an appropriate time."
"Hey, why not? It's always an appropriate time. I was conceived in a porta-potty at a concert my parents went to one time."
I look at her.
"Not kidding."
"But I wouldn't know...what to do."
"Surely you've made out a couple times."
"Maybe."
"Well, who took control more, you or him?"
"Well, he seemed like he knew what he was doing."
"Then there you go," she says "he's top, you're bottom. Just go with it."
"Oh my gosh!"
"Remember in freshman year when we had to have sex ed?"
"Sadly." I say
It was really awkward because our gym teacher was a guy and was super attractive.
"Well, remember how our teacher described it? It's basically like puzzle pieces."
"Yeah and he also seemed to know a lot about how you know what to do when it happens...and about condoms."
"He got around a lot."
"True."
"Remember when I said I would volunteer if he needed someone to help him show how it works?" She says, laughing
"Yeah, I remember a lot of things you said in that class."
"But anyway, just do it. That way you know if you'll be satisfied before you legally make this permanent."
"I swear, if I didn't know you were joking I would have probably punched you a long time ago."
"It's just...are you sure this will last?" She asks
"That's why I'm so hesitant about doing it...you know, besides the fact that I can barely handle him kissing me."
"If it doesn't, at least you can still say you banged Luke Hemmings."
"But I don't want to be like that. I don't want to do it just because of who he is."
It's true. I can't treat him like Kaitlin did. She just wanted to have sex with him and date him for her own image. Not me. I'm going to love him so much that he'll forget all about those things.
I say bye to Sarah and go to the lobby. It's raining now, so I put my hood up and walk home.
Luke's POV:
"Hey Dad?"
"Yeah?"
"How old were you when you met Mom?"
"I think I was about your age."
"Did you know then that you were going to marry her?"
He shrugs, "I knew she was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, so yeah."
"Do you think I'm too young to be thinking about marriage?"
"Not at all."
"Do you think I'm too young to be thinking about...other things?"
I hear him take in a deep breath and exhale.
"Luke, I had this talk with you when you first started high school. But you're almost an adult now, you can go and do whatever. Just...don't tell you're mom about it."
"Alright."
"So," he puts his hand on my shoulder "how are things?"
I shrug, "I honestly have no idea."
"It happens," he says "there were times while your mom and I were dating when I wasn't even sure if we were dating or not."
"I mean, we talk. It's just...something doesn't feel right. It's like we know something is going to happen, even though we don't actually know. It's like I'm already gone."
"Luke, in relationships you have to accept that there are going to be hardships. And you'll have to learn how to deal with them."
"Dad, I just don't want to lose her. I've had my heart set on her for as long as I can remember. I remember saying 'I'm going to marry her someday.'"
"If things happen and you two do split up, don't let her go. Do whatever you have to do to get her back."
I look over at him, "Thanks Dad."
*Friday*
Today is the day, just me and Mary. Michael is off somewhere with Audrey, even though I don't really approve, and I have no idea where Calum and Ashton are.
It's raining and cold, so we can't really do anything outside. Mom and Dad are at work, since it's just now 3, so we pile up on the couch and I let her pick out a movie.
"The Notebook." She says
"Really?"
"Yes."
"But Nicholas Sparks is so overrated."
"So you did do all that reading I told you to do oh so long ago?"
"Yeah, I did."
"I agree, all of his books have the same story line, just different people in different time periods. But the actual movie is great."
"Is it your favorite?"
"I guess when it comes to romance, yeah."
"What makes it your favorite? Is it because of Ryan Gosling?"
"I like it because it steps back into an era I've always been fascinated with. And it shows that no matter how far apart two people are, if their love is strong enough, they'll eventually find their way back to each other. And yes, Ryan Gosling is part of the reason I like it."
"Eye candy?" I ask jokingly while wiggling my eyebrows
I watch it with her, even though it isn't really something I would watch.
"Oh, I forgot about this scene."
"What scene?"
"There's a sex scene..."
"We're adults, I'm pretty sure we can deal with a 2 and a half minute scene."
We get to the scene and at first it's not bad, but soon it becomes hilarious.
"What's so funny?" She asks
"Her face when he took his pants off! I'm dying!" I start to roll around while laughing
"Well...what did you expect her to do? Let me remind you this was set in like the 40's or 50's. Things were different back then."
"I. Can't. Breathe!" I say while gasping for air
"Luke."
"What?"
"It isn't funny." She says calmly, but I can tell she's about to crack
I look at her for a minute, but then I smile and she cracks.
"I'll admit, it is kind of funny." She says after giggling for three minutes straight
She lays down on the floor with me and I intertwine my fingers with hers. We lay side by side while looking at the ceiling.
"I love this." She says
"What?"
"The simple things you do with me. They might not seem big and romantic to other girls, but they do to me. Any moment you spend with me, even if we're just sitting in the same room, makes me feel...I don't know...special."
"I'm going to miss this."
"Me too."
I can hear she's about to cry so I try to change the subject.
"Tell me things."
"What do you mean?"
"Just any random thing you know."
"Ok..." she says trying to think "When you look at the sky during the day, you're looking at the atmosphere, but at night you're observing the universe."
I don't respond.
"Boring, I know."
"No I was just listening. I thought that was pretty cool."
"There was a fact I know about The Notebook, but I can't remember it right now."
I stretch out and put my hands behind my head "Tell me things about you."
"You already know everything." She says
"No, I'm sure there are things I don't know. I'll ask you simple questions, even if I already know them, and you have to answer them."
"Okay." She says
"Favorite color?"
"Purple or blue."
"Favorite food?"
"Anything but McDonald's."
"Favorite animal?"
"Penguins...or maybe sea turtles, they're pretty cool."
"Did you know that sea turtles-"
"Seem high because the jelly fish they eat release a toxin inside of them that has the same effect on them as marijuana does on humans." She says, finishing my sentence
I look over at her and pout.
"Sorry." She says
"Favorite song?"
I feel like she's looking over at me, and sure enough, she is.
"You know there are too many." She says seriously
"Favorite ice cream?"
"Cookies and cream or vanilla."
"Um..." I try to think of some more "I'm out of questions."
"Oh, I remember now. They cast Ryan Gosling because they thought he wasn't very attractive."
"Then why haven't I been cast in a role like that?" I say, propping myself up on my elbow
"Shut up Lucas." she says while slapping me playfully, "You're beautiful."
"No, you are."
I'm looking down on her now, and I feel the sudden urge to kiss her. I try to not bite my lip, that way she doesn't know what I'm thinking.
"What?" She says
"What do you mean?"
"You're looking at me weird."
"Sorry, I didn't notice."
"You're so-"
I lean down quickly and kiss her. I mean for it to just be a quick peck on the lips, but something happens. I feel her squirm a little, so I sit back up.
"Sorry." I say
She doesn't say anything, she just studies me.
"It's ok." She says
"Is this ok?" I say, kissing her again
She nods.
I want to go further, but I have to stop because I hear the door open. I roll onto the floor and sit beside her.
So close.
AN: Holy crap this chapter was so freakin long I am so sorry
