Luke's POV:
"Kaitlin?"
"It's been a while." She says
"Couple months." I say
This couldn't be any more awkward.
"I heard about your band, it's cool you guys are getting your music out there."
"Yeah well that music was always noise to you." I say bitterly
We stand there in silence, but I need to get out of here, I just have to.
"Well, uh...it was nice seeing you." I say
"Luke, wait." She says, grabbing my arm hard
I look at her and then at my arm.
"I had enough of that when we were dating." I say
"I miss you," She says while letting go of me "I miss us."
"No. I'm happy now."
"You were happy with me. Remember?"
"No, I wasn't."
"Oh come on, remember all the fun times we had? The kisses...and the rest."
"Do you remember all the fights we had? And the bruises that were left on me afterwards?"
"Come on, I said sorry a million times. I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I just want you...all of you."
"No," I say shaking my head "you never wanted me for me. You wanted me for the status symbol."
"Don't you want me back?"
"No, I don't. I've found someone who wants me for me. She couldn't care less about how much money I have or how popular I am. And she doesn't hurt me."
She seems taken aback.
"Who?"
"None of your business. Just know she treats me better than you ever did."
I start walking away and I hear her say "Is it that slut you left me for in high school?"
"You're damn skippy." I say without looking back "And that slut is going be my wife someday."
I go to the checkout and walk out the door, trying not to scream...or cry.
Mary's POV:
*a week later*
"Hey Ash." I say
"Hey!" He says, wrapping me in a hug
"Do you wanna go do something?" I ask
"Laser tag." He says seriously
"Like when we were little?" I ask
"Yup, me against you."
"If that's what you want to do."
"Let me go get dressed."
A few minutes later I hear him running down the steps.
"Let's go!"
*
"Thanks." Ashton says when the girl behind the counter gives us everything.
"You're welcome Ashton." She smiles at him and I see him blush.
"Do you know her?" I ask
"Yeah, she was in my grade in school."
He says, like it was nothing
"How come I never knew her?"
"I don't know," he says, shrugging "must be because she was always really quiet. You must have never noticed her."
"But you noticed her." I say
I see him glance over at me,"Maybe."
"What's her name?"
"Do you just want to just play one on one?"
"Stop trying to change the subject." I say
"Landyn, ok? Her name is Landyn."
"Ok, I was just asking."
"Fine."
"Oh, and Ashton?"
"What?"
"One on one starts now."
I run away from him as fast as I can and turn around a corner.
"That's not fair!" I hear him yell
I run as far as I can before I find my hiding place. I already know where he is because I can hear him giggling, but I decide to let him think he has a chance of winning.
I have him in my sights when I feel my phone vibrating. I look at it and see it's Luke...he usually doesn't call unless something is important.
"Hello?"
"I need you." He says "I need to talk to you because I saw someone the other day who I never wanted to see again and she just ruined me and I thought I had put her behind me but I didn't want to tell you because I thought I shouldn't but I just can't-"
"Woah, Luke, settle down, okay?"
"I can't."
"Just listen to me, okay? Stay with me."
I've started to walk around, trying to find Ashton.
"I can't," he says again "she just brought back too many memories. I'm just so angry with myself...that I let her do this to me."
"Who, Luke? Who's she?"
"I have to go." He sounds a little sloppy
"Luke, have you been drinking?"
I've never really been around Luke when he drank, except for once, and that was just a little. I've never really thought of him as a heavy drinker, but it scares me to think of what he may do drunk and upset.
"A little." He says, hiccuping
"Luke, I'm trying to find Ashton, I'll be there as soon as I can. Is your mom there?"
"No, they're on some trip." I can hear he's been crying, or on the verge of doing so
"Ok, keep talking to me, alright?"
"Okay."
"Ashton!" He turns around "Ashton, it's Luke, I have to get to him."
"What's wrong?"
"To be honest, I'm not even sure but he's upset and I need to get to him."
He looks a little sad, disappointed that sibling time has been cut short, but I know he understands.
"Mary?" I hear Luke say
"Don't worry, I'm still here."
We run to Ashton's car and we start to go to Luke's house.
"Ashton, I can't lose him."
"What's the problem?"
"I don't know but I know something has set him off and I've never seen him like this."
I feel myself starting to have a panic attack. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can calm him down.
I don't even let the car stop before I jump out.
"I need you to go get the bag under my bed for me. I'll call you if I need you. Luke, I'm outside. I'm going to hang up, okay?"
"Okay."
I open the door and go up to his room. When I see him I want to break down.
He's sitting in the corner of his room on the floor, his sheet wrapped around him. His eyes and nose are red from crying, then I see the bottle.
"I'm sorry." He says
I sit down next to him and gently take the bottle out of his hand.
"There's no need to apologize." I say calmly
"I just kept thinking, and thinking. Finally it was just too much."
"What was too much?"
"What she did to me! She made me feel worthless! And I couldn't tell anyone! No one would believe me!"
"Who, Luke?"
"Fucking Kaitlin."
I get a text from Ashton, saying he's already back.
"I'll be right back."
I go get the bag and walk back upstairs. Now he's curled into a ball and rocking back and forth.
"Luke, what's wrong?"
I sit down next to him and he lays his head in my lap.
"I've never told anyone this, so I'm trusting you."
"I promise, I won't tell anyone."
He takes in a deep breath, and takes my hand in his.
"I dated her from the middle of sophomore year until I broke up with her. I don't know why. She didn't like me, she liked what she got from dating me.
"A while into our relationship, she started...hitting me, grabbing me hard if I'd try to walk away from her...things like that. Then she started...she started to force me to do things. I think you can understand without me telling you. I couldn't tell my parents, so I tried telling a counselor at school. All of them said the same thing: girls can't sexually abuse. And they thought I was just doing it for attention because of my brothers. But they were wrong! She did it to me!"
He's sitting up now, looking and sounding angry, and I don't really know what to say. He went through this, and no one would help him.
"Luke, I'm so sorry."
I'm starting to feel my eyes start to water.
"No, I'm sorry." He says "I know people knew I wasn't a virgin, but I told you I would be your first...and you would be mine. Now I'm not pure and I just feel so filthy now that I've told you...because you know I lied. I lied to you. I'd understand if you didn't want to be with me."
I can't believe he's feeling this way.
"Luke, you're not dirty, you're the purest person I know. And I do want to be with you, for the rest of my life. Listen, I'm going to make you feel better. I will help you."
I make him face me and I wrap my arms around him.
"I won't let anyone hurt you."
"It's just gotten so bad lately," he says, sounding muffled from hugging me "it's like a roller coaster. One minute I'm at the very top, feeling happy, but then I just fall and hit rock bottom."
"Let's get you cleaned up."
I go to his dresser and get out some clothes and boxers. I help him up and walk him to the bathroom.
"Here, get in the shower."
He can't even undress himself, so I help him. I take his clothes off, layer by layer. He must have been freezing because he's wearing sweatpants, a long sleeve shirt and a hoodie. When I go to take his shirt off, he pulls it down quickly.
"Luke, it's ok."
He lets me take his shirt off and I don't go any further, so I leave him standing in his boxers.
"Think you can manage the rest?" I ask
He nods and I go to turn on his shower.
"I'm going to go downstairs really quick, but I'll be outside of you need me."
Something isn't right, he seems spaced out, but he seemed to be talking ok for someone who'd been drinking. I decide to not go downstairs until I know he's out of the shower. After a few minutes, I hear the water cut off. Then I hear a loud bang.
"Luke!"
I open the door and walk in on him in the process of getting out of the shower.
"I knocked over the shampoo bottle."
He seems normal, so he must have not had a lot to drink.
"Get dressed, you'll feel better. When you get done, go to your room."
"Yes ma'am."
I go downstairs and pour a glass of cold water. Then I look around for something for him to eat. I grab a pack of crackers.
"Here," I say "this should make you feel better."
I hand him the water and then the crackers. He's curled up in the corner of his bed, swaddled in a blanket. I distance myself, not sure if he's up to interacting with humans yet.
"Thank you." He squeaks out
"You're welcome."
"Things have just been a little crazy lately, I'm just so overwhelmed. I'm already getting calls about when we are supposed to go back and they're already talking about touring and it's just...too much."
"Touring?" I ask, and as soon as I do I regret it because I'm making him talk about the very thing that is stressing him out
"Yeah, with this band..."
"Well that really narrows it down." I try not to say that too sarcastically because I don't know how much sarcasm can come out of my mouth before I just start to piss him off
"It's just this really popular band...but I doubt you listen to them."
" 'Just a really popular band,' huh?"
"Yeah."
He finishes his crackers and water, but now I don't really know how he's feeling.
"I'm feeling better," He says "thanks to you."
I smile, even though I feel terrible that I never knew about this.
"Now you just need to stop and have some time for you. Watch a movie, something that brings back good memories. And tea might help, if you like it."
"You're good at this." He says
"I've had experience."
"Crying?"
I nod.
"That's not good," he says in a tone that's both serious and defensive "I don't want that for you."
"What movie do you want to watch?" I ask, trying to change the subject
He must notice, but just doesn't want to say anything.
"Finding Nemo."
"Good memories?" I ask
"I was like seven when it came out and my dad took me to see it, just us. He set that day aside to spend it with me."
"That's sounds nice. I wish my mom could has done stuff like that with me..."
"But she never got to." He says, finishing my sentence
"Nope, she was either at work or too tired to do anything."
I put the movie in and get under the blanket with him. He pulls me into him and he seems to be fine. He laughs and makes sure I get all of the jokes in the movie. He recites almost every line like he has the whole thing committed to memory.
I honestly have no idea what happened tonight, but I'm glad he called me. And I'm glad I get to keep him safe.
Luke's POV:
I wake up and see the movie is over and Mary has her head on my lap, asleep. I go to brush a piece of hair out of her face, but she wakes up before my hand touches her.
"Hey," she says, half asleep "it's late."
"Yeah." I say, looking down on her
"You need anything?"
"No, I'm fine."
"Is it okay if I just stay here until morning? I'll have to leave, because you know...school."
"How is it?"
"Terrible."
"Just think about how fast high school went by. Before you know it, college will be over."
"Yeah, it will be weird though. For the past fourteen years I've done nothing but go to school."
I lay down, since we fell asleep sitting up. She lays down with me.
"What do you want to do after college?"
"Get a job I guess."
"That's all?"
Her eyes flash down and she smiles, "And I guess...be with you."
"You guess?" I ask jokingly
"Eh..."
"Shut up...you know you love me."
"I wouldn't say I love you..."
"Yes, you do."
"How do you know I don't just tolerate you?"
"We can't go to sleep until you admit it."
"Alright...I do."
"That's all I needed to know," I kiss her on the forehead,"Goodnight."
