Luke's POV:
"Nice hickey Luke!" Michael says "Is that Mary's work?"
"Shut the fuck up!" I say
"I was just asking." He says innocently
"Yeah well at least I'm not fucking my friend's cousin. Oh you thought I didn't know?" I say when I see the look on his face "You ought to be more careful with your placement next time."
"Oh yeah? Well at least I'm not fucking my friend's sister!"
"I said shut. The fuck. Up!"
"What's your fucking problem?" He asks
"Oh, do you really want to know what my problem is? I'm in a committed relationship with a girl who deserves more than a guy who picks up and leaves every now and then! Her father left her family so long ago she can't even remember! She doesn't trust guys now and soon she's going to think I left her! That is my fucking problem."
"Hey," Ashton comes in and says "what are we yelling for?"
"Yeah," Calum says, walking in behind him "what's the problem?"
I'm breathing heavy from yelling so loud and I can't speak.
"Luke and I just aren't in good moods right now."
I hear my phone ring and I look at the screen.
💬Mary
Hey! I was just wanting to tell you to call me whenever you get the chance
I walk out the room and plop down on the couch, then dial her number. I wait for her to answer, but I get her voicemail.
"Hey! Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message!"
I don't bother to because she's probably at school now. As soon as I hang up my phone rings.
"Hey!" I say
"Hey! Sorry about that, I was just helping Mom with something. What's up?"
"Eh...not much. How's school going?"
"Pretty good, the year is half way over so I have to take exams."
"That sucks." I say
"Yeah, it does."
I don't hear anything on the other line and I have no idea what to say.
"Luke," she says, "you've only been gone a few days."
"Yeah, I know."
This kills me because I can hear the pain in her voice.
"This already feels...empty." She says
"No, it isn't. We just...we aren't used to talking on the phone, that's all. We can...we can make this work."
I hear her put the phone down and then pick it back up again.
"So what are you guys doing?" Her voice is heavy, a sign that she's been crying
"Um...we're at the house now, that's about it. We're supposed to be doing something sometime soon. I think it's like this interview introducing new bands and artists...I don't know."
"I miss you." She says
"I miss you too."
"I guess this is practice for when you'll really be gone."
"Yeah, I guess."
"I...I gotta go. My shift starts in an hour."
"Ok," I say "I'll call you later."
"Ok, I love you."
"I love you too."
"Bye."
I let her hang up, throw my phone on the couch and put my head down. I need a nap.
Mary's POV:
*three weeks later*
"Mary! Turn the television on!"
"Why?"
"Your brother is on there!"
I flip the TV on and sure enough, there's Ashton staring right back at me.
"So, Ashton," the interviewer says "tell us a bit about your family."
"Oh," Ashton says "they're great. I have my mom and then there's my sister. I love them with all my heart."
"We heard you were a big family man."
"Yeah, I guess you could say that."
"So fellas, we heard a little story about Luke."
The camera cuts to where I can see all four of them, and they look at each other.
"What do you mean?" Luke asks
"Your girlfriend!" She says
"Oh, yeah she's...she's perfect. She couldn't be anymore perfect."
"She's got great boobs." Michael adds
Luke closes his eyes and bites his lip to keep himself from laughing.
"Yeah, she does."
I see Ashton's eyes grow wide and I glance down at my chest.
"Tell us a bit about her...besides how great her boobs are."
"Um, she's great." He's trying not to laugh about Michael's comment while he laughs "She's funny, smart and she's just...one of the greatest people I know."
"She can be a bit of a smart ass sometimes," Ashton adds "but it's not bad."
"Thanks Ash." I say to myself
"Well, we hope you two will stay together and be happy."
"Thank you," he says, and he looks into the camera, it feels like he's looking into my soul "I do too."
I turn the TV off and feel like I'm forgetting to do something. Oh yeah, I have a job to go to. It's not too bad, it's at my school's bookstore, but other than that it's tolerable.
I get my bag and keys, tell Mom bye, and go out the door. I've finally gotten things under control. I have a car now, a steady job, and I'm almost done with my first year of college. I've been thinking about moving out, but I don't know if I could leave Mom. Maybe if Ashton was at home more. There's this place I've seen that I really like, but it's not really a place you would want to live in by yourself.
I pull away from the house when I hear my phone ring.
"Heyyyyyyyy!" Sarah says
"Hey."
"What's up?"
"Oh, you know, going to work."
"Ew, gross."
"Yup."
"Is that guy still hitting on you?"
"James?"
"Yeah, that guy."
"I wouldn't say he's hitting on me. I've known the guy since high school. I mean yeah, he did get punched in the face by Luke because he liked me, but I don't think he is anymore."
"Mary, you're blind. He's hitting on you."
"He's not hitting on me! I could barely find one guy who found me attractive, I highly doubt there's another one."
"Tons of guys like you, you just tell yourself they don't."
"But I'm gross."
"Shut up, you're beautiful."
"No I'm not."
"Luke thinks so."
"Yeah..."
"So stop saying you're gross!"
"But what do I do if James doesn't stop?"
"Come on, he can't be that bad."
"I mean, I guess he could be considered attractive to some people. I think you would like him. But it gets kind of annoying sometimes. I mean, the other day he used the cheesiest pick up line and I just..."
"I thought you thought those pick up lines were cute."
"Yeah, when Luke uses them. Hey, I gotta go to work. Why don't you drop by?"
"Ok, I will. Byyyyyeeeee!"
I walk into the bookstore and guess who's there?
James.
"Hi Mary."
"Hey James," I'm trying to be nice, but not too nice "how has your day been?"
"Good now that you're here."
I roll my eyes.
"Do you wanna get some coffee sometime?" He asks
I turn around and look at him. He kind of reminds me of Luke, just the way he's considered attractive but is still kind of awkward. I guess talking to him helps me feel like I'm talking to Luke in a way.
"James, I'd love to, but I have a boyfriend. Remember the guy who punched you in the face?"
"Oh."
"Yeah, I'm sorry."
"But I've changed since then, I really have. And I know you liked me back then."
"James, I was having a mental melt down then. Not that you're not attractive, it's just... I'm in a relationship."
He's getting ready to say something but I see Sarah come in. She goes to the back corner and I take a stack of books to meet her but still look like I'm working.
"Sorry, I have to put these up."
I walk to the back corner.
"He did it again." I say while stocking books
"He's got the hots for you."
"Yeah well, he needs to redirect his affections."
A few minutes go by, I pretend to stock shelves and she pretends to look for a book.
"How are things with Luke?"
I sigh, "We uh...things are good."
"Did you guys..." she whispers "get it on?"
"No...but we got close."
"Holy fuck!" She says
"Shhhhh!" Some people say
"Sorry. I am so sorry!" She says "But holy fuck! Did you see..."
"Ew, no. I never want to see a," I take my voice down to barely a whisper, "penis. Not even his. Plus, we didn't actually have sex."
"I don't blame you...they're really weird."
I don't even acknowledge that comment.
"I just don't want us to do something like that and then he picks up and leaves every time. I mean, what if I were to get pregnant? Or what if he finds someone else? Why am I even talking about this here?"
"Well, use a condom."
"Sarah, you don't understand. If we have a kid, they would never know Luke. I feel like I don't even know him anymore."
"If he finds someone else, you can find someone else."
"I can't do that." I say "I'd never do that."
"Hey," James says "who's this?"
"This is Sarah." I say "Now get back to work before somebody tells our boss that you're just flirting, not working."
"Ooh, blackmail. I like it."
"I'm serious."
"He's got a Klark Kent vibe about him."
"Yeah, I guess."
"He doesn't seem too bad." Sarah says
"Believe me, he just screams 'fuckboy.'"
"I think he's kinda cute."
"Gross."
Luke's POV:
"I just wanna go home!" I groan
"It's not so bad here." Calum says
"This is driving me crazy!"
"Just a few more weeks."
"I don't understand this! What's the point in coming here? We're not getting anywhere and people control us! I'm sick of it!"
"I know," Michael says "I can't stand it! Plus I never have time to talk to Audrey."
"Fuck it. I'm done."
I grab my suitcase and start putting my clothes in it.
"Luke, they're not just gonna buy you a plane ticket so you can leave. They've put too much money into us."
"Then I'll walk."
"Come on man, don't do this." Ashton says "Plus, the heat would get to you before you even got out of California."
I look at him and he backs away a little.
"Come on Luke, I want to go home too, but that's one of the sacrifices you will have to make. Just think it over."
I stop at the door and think about it.
"Luke, this is our dream. If Audrey and I can manage to make this work, you two certainly can."
"It's not just that...I know we can make this work, and I'm holding on to that for dear life. I just can't stand having someone control me all the time. I have to get up at this time and be at this place on this day. I'm sick of it."
"Then you need to get used to it because when we make it big, you won't be able to do anything. If you're not going to go through with this, then what's the point for the rest of us? We all might as well just go home." Calum says
"Yeah," Ashton says "we would all have to give up on our dream. Don't you still want to take on the world? Don't you still want to share our music with the world and make people happy?"
"Wow guys, thanks for making me feel like shit." I say
"Well, it's our job." Michael says
"Piss off." I say
"Hey, why don't we have a few drinks, cool off a bit?" Calum says
He walks to the fridge and gets out four beers.
"No thanks," I say walking to the fridge, "I'll just eat my yogurt."
I know Mary doesn't drink that much, and I've tried to change my ways before I get hooked on alcohol and just spiral.
"Come on Luke, one drink. One."
"Nah, I can't."
"Fine, be a killjoy with your fucking yogurt!"
"Michael, please kindly fuck off. I'm going to bed."
*
I wake up and get a shower, but I almost fall asleep. I put Mary's favorite shirt of mine, my flannel, on and go downstairs for breakfast. When I open the fridge to get orange juice, I rest my head against it and fall asleep.
"Morning Luke." Ashton says
"Hm? Oh, morning."
"You tired?"
"So fucking tired."
"Same. Just think, a month from now we'll be home."
"Yeah, if we're lucky."
I sit down at the table with my pancakes and orange juice.
"Have you uh, have you talked to Mary lately?" He asks
"No, not since last week. Why?"
"Oh nothing, I was just wondering."
"No really, why?"
He puts his fork down and sighs.
"I don't know if I should say...but things are getting tough for her."
"Tough?"
"I shouldn't say anymore. But I will say this: talk to her, really talk to her. FaceTime her, she needs to see you."
"I was actually planning on it."
I take my phone and go to my hiding place to FaceTime her. It rings but she doesn't answer. So I try again and she doesn't answer...again. I try for a third time and she answers.
"Hi!" I say as soon as I realize she has answered
"Hey," she says "how are you doing?"
"I'm great. How are you doing?"
"I'm...fine, actually."
Dear God she looks so miserable. I can see the bags under her eyes and her room in the background is a mess. That isn't like her, she can't stand clutter.
"Mary..." I say "Please don't lie to me."
"I'm not."
"I know, Mary. I know."
"Know what?"
"What you're feeling. Your brother told me."
"I'm not feeling anything. I've just hit a rough patch, that's all."
"Just tell me what has been going on."
"I don't-"
"Please?"
She runs her hand through her slightly messy hair and looks around.
"I don't know what's wrong with me."
"What do you mean?"
"I...I can't sleep. I get in bed but then I just lay there and think."
"Well...that's normal for you, isn't it?"
"Well...yeah, but these thoughts just...disturb me. Every sad thought I've ever had, every sad thing that's ever happened to me...it all comes rushing back."
"Babe, I'm so sorry. I hate to see you like this."
"I'm not depressed or anything, I'm just in need of a mental break. I'm finished with school for this year, so I can have some down time."
"That's good...I miss you."
"I miss you too."
We sit and look at each other for as long as we can.
"Luke...I want to talk to you."
"That's what you're doing."
"No...about something serious."
"Okay." I say
"Do you really want to get married?"
"Of course."
"And you want to have kids, right?"
"If you want to."
"I do but...do you remember before you left?"
"Yeah..."
"I want to have kids...but I just, I don't know if I'm going to be ready."
"When we're ready, we'll have kids."
"Being with you has helped me. I'm over that fear..."
"I'm ready when you are. Just tell me."
She looks at me again with those big brown eyes. They've lost their shine since the last time I saw them. Now there's something cold, harsh even, about them.
"Few more weeks, okay? That's all, and then I'll be home for a long time."
"Okay," she says "I'll be waiting."
AN: I just read one of the earlier chapters aka the period where I had absolutely no idea how to write anything but trash and sounded like I was 10. I seriously had no idea what I was doing. The first 20 chapters are basically the middle school years of this story because I know they happened but I try to forget it and whenever I look at them I cringe.
