Wanting the Bad Boy [completed]

Chapter 28: Wasted

Wanting the Bad Boy - Chapter 28: Wasted

Alex's POV

I sat on the couch with the smoke and stench of beer flooding the room. The colorful lights spun me around the room. The girls danced in the corner. The guys watched the football game on TV, or at least that's what they were trying to do. When the girls didn't wear enough clothes to cover themselves it was hard to do anything but watch them.

I looked away though. Even though I was trying to drown out my thoughts in my drink, I wasn't about to cheat on my girlfriend. I had said that I loved her and I meant it. I meant every word I was thinking, but I just couldn't tell her. It was a mistake to even try to tell her so soon. She didn't feel the same way and I probably just ruined everything that we ever could have had. I always manage to ruin things.

I had run out of the hospital after meeting Dylan in the hall. I ran from him and Colbie and the hospital. I got outside and went straight to my truck. I was just going to sit there for a while to calm down and get my head together but I got a text from my buddy about this party. I might regret coming in the morning but I didn't know what else to do.

A girl came over to me and tried to sit on my lap. I just moved over and gave her room on the couch. She put her hands on my chest and tried to get on top of me but I stopped her. I didn't like having anyone but Colbie touch me. I didn't like having these girls all over me. I loved Colbie. Only Colbie.

I stood up and walked to the door. I think the girl said my name as I left the couch, but I was already wasted. I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't.

I was in my buddy's apartment. I had been here a few times before with Dylan. We used to party a lot more before we both got girlfriends. I walked to the end of the hall and opened the window. I stumbled out onto the fire escape and grabbed the railing ahead of me. The couple that was out there got up quickly and left their red cups filled with jack and coke on the steps.

I rested my arms on the railing and let my head hang low. I ran my finger through my hair and rubbed my neck. It was dark out already. I took another big sip of my beer. I felt horrible. I had probably just ruined the best thing in my life. I downed the rest of the drink and opened another can that was on the steps. This was now my sixth drink. I was trying to numb the pain away.

It was quiet. My head had finally shut up. The voices yelling at myself took a break for once. It was way too soon to tell her something like that, but now everything is ruined. It's too late now. She probably won't be able to look at me again. The worst part is I know she's blaming herself even though it makes no sense to do so.

On top of the mess I made, I left her at the hospital. I was supposed to be there for her. All I know how to do is leave. I'm just like everyone else. I just leave people when they need me. I don't know how to stay. 

The window slid open behind me and I spun around. Dylan crawled through the small opening and gave me a half smile. I rolled my eyes and leaned against the railing again. He came next to me and looked out at the city lights. He sighed.

"What are you sighing about?" I asked him. If anyone was going to be sighing it was me.

He looked at me and chuckled. "You love her."  I nodded.

It was so weird. I had never felt this way about anyone before. That scared me. I didn't know what to do with these feelings. I didn't want to hurt her either. I was so scared I was going to hurt Colbie even more now that I love her.

"Am I crazy to think that I could fall in love?" I asked looking at Dylan. He didn't say anything. He knew I wasn't looking for an answer. He could also tell I was drunk, so he knew I would say everything I was feeling. He was right. "Am I crazy to think I could be in love? It will all just end badly. It'll all be wasted. I would just fuck it up. I would give her my heart and take hers and fuck it up. Colbie and I would end up wasted."

I threw my head back and closed my eyes. my head was pounding. It felt like my brain was about to come out of my ears. My heart was thumping against my ribs. I wanted to claw at it and get it out.

I stumbled over to the stairs to sit down. Dylan looked at me concerned. I rested my elbows on my knees and held my head in my hands. I didn't know what was happening. It was like everything inside me was hurting. A tear slipped down my cheek and I brushed it aside. Another fell and then another. Why was this happening?

I rubbed them away with the sleeve of my shirt, but they wouldn't go away. They just kept coming back. Dylan came closer, but kept his distance. He was probably confused too. "Dylan," I said. He looked at me. "I love her so much. I'm going to hurt her though. I always hurt people. I don't want to hurt her."

I was so scared. It felt like my head was spinning. I was wobbling back and forth, even though I was still sitting down. Dylan put his hands on my shoulders to steady me.

"Alex," he started. "If you love her this much, trust it. Don't fight how you feel. That is what will hurt her. You need to just be honest."

"But she doesn't love me back," I said flatly. I buried my head in my arms. I just wanted to disappear and start this day over. She doesn't love me.

"How do you know?" Dylan asked.

"It's too soon. We only just started dating." I shook my head. It was hopeless.

Dylan looked in the other direction. "You remember how hard she tried to get your attention and talk to you. She had an interest in you right away. She was there for you when you were hurting. You told her everything about yourself. All the bad things that you try to hide and she's still here. She didn't leave." He let out a breath. He was sort of yelling. "I'm not saying she loves you, but she cares. A lot. She won't run away if you tell her. Even if you don't tell her yet, she needs you there at the hospital with her. She was probably so scared when she got sick. She needs you there."

I nodded. "I can't go now though. She won't want to see me like this."

He helped me up. "You need to sober up."

"But I want to spend the night there with her." I wanted to be there for her for her first night there. Her parents probably wanted a break.

He shook his head. "Not like this. You need a few hours to get this out of your system or you'll show up there and get sick. Not to mention, you're underage and the hospital isn't going to let an underage drunk into the hospital."

He was right. He helped me through the house. The alcohol was really kicking in at this point. My legs felt wobbly and I couldn't really walk right. It felt like I was walking sideways. I grabbed onto the wall next to me but it moved and I fell onto the ground. Dylan laughed at me and picked me up to my feet. He practically carried me out of the house and to his car. He shoved me in and shut the door. "What about Black Betty?" I asked referring to my truck parked in the middle of the lawn.

"We'll come back for her when you're able to drive." I nodded satisfied and rested my head against the door. I was tired. And like that I was out for hours.

The song for this chapter is Waster by MKTO. I love them and this song. They are great. Fun fact, Tony Oller was on the Disney channel show, As the Bell Rings. Do any of you remember that show? Let me know what you think of them or the story. Thank so much for reading. Please comment and vote.