Circled by The Wolves [Brustoff]

Chapter 6

"I don't even fucking care!" Cameron yelled at me, and I shivered.

I fucking hated fighting with the guys but this time I knew it was my fault and I could't just walk out of the argument with the 'I'm to punk rock for this' and pretend nothing's happened the next day.

"You don't just walk out after you just passed out in front of us and return hours later!" Cameron was still yelling while the rest of the guys stood there like supportive girlfriends letting him do all the talking. 

And yeah, my plan to be back before nightfall failed. It was three in the morning and I just entered the bus.

"I just..." I sighed and opened my mouth to try again but before I even formed words Cameron spoke. 

"You just what? Denis, you've been off the whole last show and this one you didn't even show up! You're lucky Chelsea Grin are our friends so they jumped in when Ben made up you were sick and some shit!"

Yeah, I missed the show too. 

"I'm sorry." I said looking away.

"You're sorry?" James almost chocked. "Denis I'm seriously considering punching you in the face!"

I flinched forcing myself not to take a step back.

James could easily break me in half, but I reminded myself he wouldn't hurt me. I mean, would he? He wouldn't right? But they were so mad...

"I know, okay! I'm aware. Guys I know! I'm sorry... It's just that..." I cut myself and looked away once more.

I wanted to tell them but it was like I physically couldn't. Like I would choke on my own breath or something. 

Before I even got the chance to look back at them James stormed towards me. He pinned me against the door and look me dead into the eyes.

"Don't give us that Denis!" He hissed. "We've been through it, you know."

I was so surprised by the anger his eyes held that I couldn't even breathe.

Soon, but not soon enough, Ben appeared next to us. He avoided my gaze as he tapped James' shoulder giving him a look. 

James let go of me that very second and returned to the rest of the guys that were standing near by.

Finally, Ben looked at me. His blue eyes that were usually lightened up by energy and childishness were just sad and empty. 

"Look, I'm sorry too, but he's not wrong." He let out a breath, looked away then looked at me again. "We've been through this already. The thing with Danny started like this, and you know it Denis. You know it." He slowly spat the last sentence like it was poisonous. "You're doing the same as he was doing. You're just like him, and if you're gonna continue acting like him you can as well do the same as he did, just fucking leave."

I was generally taken back by his words. It took me a moment or so to process what Ben had said to me. The rest of the guys were quiet. We were all quiet. 

Ben's words hurt. They hurt a lot. But what hurt the most was the fact that he wasn't wrong.

My eyes were burning, and my vision went blurry. 

Fuck, I can't cry now.

Luckily Sam spoke making all the guys look away from me to him. "Hey, that's not true." He said quietly, like he's thinking. 

He cracked the silence, and then everyone jumped into another argument like I wasn't even there.

"Yeah it's true! Don't you see what he's doing?!" James looked at Sam like he was blind or something.