Circled by The Wolves [Brustoff]

Chapter 43

"It started with a text. As simple as 'leave'..." I started. It was the goddamn time to tell them already. After everything I made them go through the truth was what they deserved.

So I told then everything exactly how it happened, for now leaving out the fact that Dusty was my ex. Cameron knew it, but I'm gonna tell them all that at the end because that statement opens up a whole another conversation. They listened patiently, paying attention to the words I was saying. Processing the information and letting it all sink in. I was well aware how insane the whole story sounded, but I guess a lot of things are gonna fall into place for them now. 

"I'm sorry." I said when I finished. "I really am. I should've told you guys, but..." I stuttered. "Well, when things were starting to get out of hand, I realized it was Dusty and I know what he's capable of, so I wanted to deal with it without putting you in danger."

"Denis..." James growled first. "You have to tell us these things." 

"Yes, I know, but I also know that Dusty doesn't give empty threats." I defended.

"But we could've figured something out..." James insisted. 

I glanced at Cameron. He just sat there with his arms crossed looking no where in particular. He knows. Perhaps he knew before I even told him. Perhaps he already knew the stuff I will only tell Ben. I glanced over to my... boyfriend. He was pale, looking like he was deep in thought, but clearly listening to us.

"Dusty's your ex." Ben's voice broke through my response before I could even form it. His voice was quiet, but resonant, more like he was thinking out loud and not actually stating it. Than he looked up to meet my gaze. "He's your ex, right?" He ignored everyone else and focused on me as I slowly nodded. 

I was aware of the looks of horror and shock that were forming on James' and Sam's face, but I couldn't bring myself to look at them as I spoke. "Yeah. Yeah he is."

"And he was abusive." Ben spoke carefully. 

I nodded again. He wasn't stupid at all, I knew that, but I never really thought about his actual awareness. Perhaps he knew me better then I thought. I could practically hear his brain working as he put the pieces together.

My so called 'phases', my anxiety, my fear of sharp things and violence. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was cracking.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence interrupted by mine and Ben's heavy breathing, before Cameron's soft voice broke it. 

"Up. Up." He said tapping James and Sam on the back. "Let's go." Sam and James got up and although they still stared at Ben and I not really sure how to take the situation they let Cam lead them out of the bus.

"I... I..." I tried to form a reasonable sentence, but the words just didn't come out. 

"Denis, how can I keep you safe when you don't tell me stuff like that? It was him all along wasn't it?" Anger occupied Ben's voice as he spat the last words out. "And Danny." His eyes went dark, but then shook his anger away as he probably saw me stiffen. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked softly this time.

"Because it's not something I like to acknowledge as reality. I don't want to think about it let alone talk about it." I said. "I thought that when I joined Asking that I was leaving all of that behind. I thought Dusty's gonna get over me and that I'll never ever have to see him again. I never saw this coming.. Never, not even in my dreams... I... I wanted to just bury my past so deep

I literally forget all about it... But it just didn't work. Especially when I found out Dusty hasn't forgot about me at all and that he's out to get me again. It all came back to me and I was desperate to find a way out without actually living through that again... It's selfish, I know... I'm sorry." I was crying now.