Circled by The Wolves [Brustoff]

Chapter 37

"Hey, baby, wake up." I heard Dusty say. "It's already almost none."

I groaned pretending to be dizzy from the sleep when in all reality I haven't slept at all. I blame my fans. But they managed to raise my mood. A lot. They actually gave me strength. I knew they believed in me and it made me wanna go through with this plan without giving up. It made me wanna make this right. It made ma wanna fight. They believe in me. I have to prove that I'm worth it. I have to prove that I'm worth turning your back on your favorite band. 

I opened my eyes painting a smile on my face. "Morning." I moaned trying to make my voice sound raspy before I pulled Dusty down and kissed him quickly.

"I can see you're in a good mood." Dusty said obviously enjoying the attention I was giving him. 

"Your bed is comfy." I said standing up then looking down at myself. "So comfy I forgot I was still in my jeans."

He laughed. 

"Also, it smells like you." I added with a sweet grin and I could see he was enjoying this. Enjoying it too much. He's gonna walk right into my trap if I don't fuck it up tonight.

Whatever happens, even if I trigger his violent side, I have to go to that AA concert and I'm doing it while he takes me to that date. I'll have to convince him to take me somewhere near Webster

Hall and pray to God he doesn't know about the 10 Years In The Black Tour stopping in NYC tonight.

When Dusty and I walked to the living room no one was there. 

"Went out." Dusty said meeting my questioning gaze and I just nodded in response. "But they left us pizza!" Dusty said taking the pizza box to the couch I threw myself at.

We ate and just watched TV for quite some time until Dusty finally hasn't broke the silence. 

"So, when are we gonna tell the fans you're back?" He asked me and I almost chocked on my own spit. Instead I pushed a whole slice of pizza into my mouth, so I can get an extra few moments to think about what I'm gonna say.

I chewed as slow as possible, but the moment where I had to speak came too fucking fast.

"Umm... maybe tomorrow... After the date, we could like..." I stuttered, but luckily Dusty got it the wrong way.

"Hey, you don't have to be nervous." He got my hands that were shaking. 

My whole body was shaking actually. I took a few deep breathes calming myself before it gets out of hand.

"We won't do it until you're ready. It's okay." Dusty spoke softly and I nodded. 

"It's not that I don't want to, I'm just scared that people will hate on me... You know, now that Ben said I bailed on them. I think that people will think that I'll bail on you too." I said actually kinda sounding scared.

"I'll make sure no one hates on you. Ben also said there was no chemistry between you." His words hurt like he stabbed me with a knife, but I kept my face straight. "And I'm pretty sure you wouldn't agree. Asking are lair's and I'm gonna make sure the whole world knows about it." 

"Okay, thank you." I said.

"It's no problem, you know I love you." He said smiling and instead of saying it back I pulled him down for a kiss. 

I just couldn't say 'I love you' to him. Those words were meant for Ben. Perhaps they will always be.

"I want to plan that date tho." I said. "I don't really like surprises... Not..." I made my voice shake. "Not after Ben, well he always had to surprise me and it never went well... I hope you're not mad, I just..."