Breaking In {BTS In School}

41. No, Love Is A Weakness.

YeongMi stayed on the beach for the rest of the night.

She didn't relax, didn't close her eyes, didn't let herself get any relief.

Her eyes burned from staring across the water endlessly, seeing the moon falling down, allowing the Sun to peek up slowly, rising to take it's turn illuminating the sky.

She didn't find the sunrise beautiful anymore.

Not this time.

The swirls of colours, once giving her a feeling that the world was good, now felt obnoxious and unnecessary, as if it was flaunting it's perfect nature, taunting her.

She hated it.

And she hated how drastically it had changed for her, from the span of one sunrise to the next. She would never see it the same anymore.

Stupid Namjoon, messing with her like that.

She wouldn't let him do that anymore.

Nobody messed with her.

Her body was numb; she no longer felt the cold, despite the curious wind lacing around her bare legs, brushing against her and sinking into the thin fabric of the shirt.

Similarly, her mind was numb, cold and frozen. She let it remain blank; it was easier that way. Less painful.

Unfortunately, for all the efforts she put into it, she couldn't prevent her bleeding heart from twinging painfully at every beat.

The walls were shattered, and she spent the whole night slowly building them back up.

This whole thing was a bad idea.

Maybe she should just leave.

"Mimi?"

She hardly registered the voice; she sat, unmoving as Jimin sat next to her and grabbed her hand, holding it in his, rubbing his thumbs back and forth in what must have been an attempt at a comfort.

YeongMi couldn't really feel it; her senses were blocked from her mind.

"I'm sorry for yesterday," he seemed to be struggling with it more than her, as she was frozen whilst he was still obsessing over the previous events. "I wanted to stop him, I tried, but I just, couldn't. He wouldn't listen to me."

Still, no word from YeongMi.

She let him hug her though, and for a moment her heart felt at ease.

The damage returned too fast, and YeongMi wasn't sure if she had imagined it.

He wrapped his arms around her, leaning his chin on her shoulder and staring at her face intently, searching for the slightest clue that she needed help.

That would be too easy.

"Are you okay, Mimi?"

The despised question pulled her from silence, and she stared ahead blankly. "I'm fine."

And she was. She was fine with not being fine, that is. She was fine with being this bitter, hateful mess forever. Last night had confirmed that for her.

For a moment, she had thought, maybe, things could change.

She was just glad that last night had reminded her of just why she shouldn't think she had a chance.

She shrugged off Jimin's arms; she couldn't care, not even for the sweet boy who called her sweet nicknames despite her insistence that he could use her name.

And stupid her for loving it.

She left him in the sand, walking aimlessly down the beach, towards nothing.

That's precisely why it was good; she had nothing to look forward to, and thus, nothing to disappoint her. All she had was herself.

Just how it was supposed to be. Just as she knew it.

She stopped at an empty area, pulling her shirt off and going into the water.

She let the cold water soak into her frigid bones. Laying on her back, she closed her eyes and did her best to float.

She didn't care that the sea would carry her farther down the beach, or that she would get lost. She didn't care about anything but forgetting, and right now, this was her best idea.

The water soaked into her ears, and for once, she let it. It pooled in, collecting in her brain and washing away any conscious thoughts.

She was left with a collection of childhood memories, and she allowed herself to relive them, distracting her from the pain of everything that happened.

For a short while, she did manage to forget, and, though her chest still felt empty, it was coated with a nostalgic sadness, more bearable than normal sadness, almost enjoyable, in a painful way.

And then it was ruined, just like that.

She hardly had to guess who it was, pouring water onto her face and grabbing her.

She opened her eyes lazily, seeing Bora smirking at her. She quickly stood up and walked to the beach, beginning to walk back the way she had come.

Bora and Soma followed, the latter with a great deal more hesitation.

"Man, that was such a great party. Did you have fun, YeongMi?"

She didn't respond, only praying to god that Bora would keep talking shit so she'd have a viable excuse to punch her smug face.

"God, you should've seen Namjoon though, he's such a bad dancer, it's almost funny," she paused for a shrill, sickening laugh, "actually, it is funny."

YeongMi smiled to herself, stretching out her fingers in preparation.

This would be the first good thing to happen today.

"Almost as funny as you thinking you actually have a chance of stealing my man."

YeongMi stopped, turning slowly to see the cruel smile spread across Bora's face.

"Oh, but this is even funnier."

Bora's smile fell, confused, just before the realization set it.

But it was too late, YeongMi had already shot her hand forward, jabbing into her chin and sliding up to her nose.

Satisfied with the blood dripping out of Bora's nose, YeongMi turned away.

Not so smug now, bitch.