Breaking In {BTS In School}

11. Dilemmas

**** New cover ****

For the first few days, none of YeongMi's teachers came to check on her. She had skipped more classes than most, so it was understandable.

But after a week, everyone obviously knew something was wrong.

YeongMi was so scared that she would answer the door for someone other than a teacher. She'd already almost opened the door for Jimin before she heard Yoongi's distinctive grumble behind him.

She was trying so hard to forget the boys, but the time spent apart only made it harder. She spent every waking moment with them on her mind.

It was infuriating.

She convinced the floor's teacher that she was sick - taking a burning hot shower before letting her in allowed for the flushed red skin and body heat fit for a fever.

The teacher was too scared that it was contagious to stick around, so YeongMi was off the hook on the teacher side.

With the boys, however, she was far from in the clear. She'd had to turn off her phone to avoid the incessant ringing of notifications, texts and calls.

She fought with herself, resisting reading the messages when all she wanted to do was answer.

But no, she would be strong. She had to be strong. She was strong. She was the strongest person she knew, after all.

She smirked to herself; it was fake, but it worked well enough for her. Pretending had never been a problem for her before. She had built it up so well, that the act became a part of her.

The abundance of confidence helped draw in the attention in controlled doses that made her feel special, and it also kept up the untouchable feel that kept the people at a distance.

There were different types of attention, after all. The admiring, constant kind, that from what YeongMi had heard, was the kind that Bora enjoyed. Then, there was the surprised, confused attention that YeongMi preferred. Shock value.

Even then though, YeongMi only liked the attention in small doses, variances of attention and being ignored.

In most cases, she only liked attention when she first came in. After that, she couldn't care less if she was the least popular person - by all means, that would be great if it meant nobody would bother her.

What she didn't like, however, was being looked down on. She'd had far enough of that from her parents and all their friends.

That's why she was so big on the attention thing. Growing up, she'd had lots of attention, probably even too much. But it was never good attention. She was always observed, watched, but only so that her flaws could be pointed out at every opportunity - and there were plenty. She was given so much attention that it was suffocating. She had hated it.

But now, it was the only thing that reminded her of home. And as much as she hated remembering, she couldn't resist. She needed a little familiarity, especially after being sent all over the world to new boarding schools so that her parents didn't have to deal with her, and she didn't have to deal with them.

No matter how much she hated it, it was scary to be in a new place all alone, and despite her act, having that familiarity of scrutinizing stares was the only comfort. It was messed up, she knew it, but it's the best she had.

It doesn't have to be that way. She could stay here, stay with the boys. They could become the comfortable familiarity.

No. She wouldn't delude herself like that, not again. She was done making that mistake. She was done believing in other people.

She was only believing in herself. And even then was a stretch at times.

She was pulled from her dreary thoughts by the sound of a knocking on glass, and YeongMi was scared that it was one of the boys, so she ignored it, but the person wouldn't leave.

Risking it, only because she absolutely hated the sound, she went to the balcony door.

She was relieved to see that it was Hyjoon - of course it had been Hyjoon, no one else was brash enough to scale the damn building.

She wasn't relieved, however, when she saw the serious, accusing look on the girls face.

She had half a mind to reiterate her age to the girl, but Hyjoon was stubborn, and she barged in, slamming the door and shocking YeongMi into silence.

"So you've been sitting around feeling sorry for yourself while the boys are suffering, wondering if you're alive or not."

YeongMi rolled her eyes; she didn't appreciate the younger girl speaking to her like that, especially since she knew she was right, even if she was being melodramatic. Obviously YeongMi wasn't dead, or she would've started to stink up the place by now.

"Hey, watch your tone - "

"And not to mention Bora!"

YeongMi stopped any attempt to chastise the girl at the mention of Bora.

She had almost forgotten Bora.

Yeah right.

Not really, Bora took up all her spare thoughts, when the boys gave her mind a break.

What she had forgotten was that Bora must have arrived at the school by now. Who knows what she'd done with the boys by now - maybe they forgot about her by now, maybe Bora replaced her.

Or had she replaced Bora in the first place?

She didn't know, and she wasn't sure she wanted to, not if it would disappoint her, and everything always seemed to disappoint.

"So come on now! Get showered and get dressed. You've got to look good. Let's go get your man back!"

"Yeah!" YeongMi started, glaring at Hyjoon's smug face. "Wait, what?"

"Nothing, nothing. Go on then."

YeongMi got up, taking the shower as Hyjoon had suggested.

She reminded herself to have a word with Hyjoon later, to make sure she didn't think that that this could become a full time thing, being bossy to YeongMi.

Disrespect was YeongMi's thing, it didn't suit the youthful, smiling Hyjoon.

It so definitely did.

Throughout it all, YeongMi couldn't stop grinning.

She hadn't even expected anything of Hyjoon, and yet, she had still come around anyways.

Maybe caring wasn't always bad, after all.