Breaking In {BTS In School}

66. Breaking Down

YeongMi was intent on pretending that nothing had happened.

After all, any emotions were a sign of weakness, and YeongMi was not weak. She would never show that anything bothered her, not in front of her parents, not in front of her brother, and definitely not in front of the other students. 

Nothing affected her. She wouldn't let it.

She would tell her brother "I'm fine," even as her cheeks were sticky from previous tears.

She was not fine.

"I'm fine," she told herself as she sat in the newly acquired car.

"I'm fine," as she turned on the ignition.

"I'm fine," as she drove down the street.

"I'm fine," as she found herself in front of one of her parents many houses.

"I'm fine," as she pressed against the the gas pedal, gunning down the winding driveway.

Completely fine, as she pushed her foot to the floor.

Fine, as she slammed on the breaks just before slamming into the large pagoda statue.

Slightly less fine, as she turned the car off and stumbled out, staring down at the now-shattered statue.

She was still fine as she stumbled down the street.

Still fine, walking into the bar, fake ID at the ready.

She was buzzed in minutes. Drunk within the hour.

By the time she realized her phone was ringing, she was utterly hammered.

"Who is it?"

"YeongMi, we're so disappointed in you."

"Oh, well isn't that a foreign concept."

"We don't have time for your senseless jokes. Did you vandalize our Seoul home?"

"Is it really vandalism if it's my own house?"

"Are you still joking around?"

"Finally getting smart, are we?"

"Excuse me miss, if you would take your phone call outside?"

"Fuck off," YeongMi stumbled outside before continuing to listen to her mother.

"YeongMi, you have got to pull yourself together. Can you stop causing trouble for once in your damned life?!"

"Well, maybe I can't!"

"You're not making sense. Of course you can stop."

"Well, you never sense anyway," YeongMi huffed, "you never, you never make sense to me!"

"Are you drunk?"

"No! Maybe."

"Goodness, are you even learning at that new school?"

YeongMi wasn't sure her mother would even want to hear what she had learned - it wasn't very academic.

"Why must you always make everything so hard for us?"

YeongMi's heart clenched up painfully.

She was a burden. Nothing good came from her. She was nothing but an inconvenience.

"Maybe you're doing the same for me!"

YeongMi's anger was wet, fueled by tears and fiery passion, pain and hate.