Breaking In {BTS In School}

50. Promises

YeongMi had dragged a chair to the window so that she could watch the rain falling outside.

She had considered sitting in the sand despite the storm, but she had finally decided against it, mainly because her brother wasn't there to rescue her from her self pity, or steal a shirt for her.

Sorry Mingyu.

So instead, she was stuck inside. Lucky for her, everyone had already gone to bed, so she had the solitude that she seemed to prefer these days.

No, not really a preference. If she had what she wanted, she wouldn't be alone. So why was she letting herself suffer by herself?

It was a simple answer, and yet so incredibly complicated.

Fear.

One of the most controlling emotions that a person could feel. It trapped them, caged them and kept them down and seemingly helpless.

She stretched out her legs, taking care not to rub her feet against the carpet, as they already hurt without any rough contact.

So maybe the hot coals weren't such a good idea. Life hurt more, but that didn't mean that the coals didn't hurt. Oh, they did hurt, really hurt.

There was a pressure on her stomach, as something had been tossed into her lap.

She picked up the ice packs blankly, not sparing a glance over at the mildly concerned boy standing next to her, who was staring down at her intently, relieved that he hadn't accidentally thrown them at her face.

As if their situation wasn't bad enough, he didn't want to think of how much worse it would get if he had done that. She'd probably think he'd done it on purpose.

Namjoon, stop trying to be sweet. YeongMi's grudges don't fall that easily, so don't test it.

"They're for your feet."

"Obviously."

"I mean, they won't help much. But, uh, they're something."

She wouldn't thank him. No, no matter how nice it was of him to consider this, she would not cave. She wouldn't accept this, whether this was him waving a white flag or trying to make her forgive him. She wouldn't give in like that. No, she was hurt, and she never wanted to feel like this again. She wouldn't allow him to hurt her like that again.

She had been humiliated, absolutely and positively humiliated by him. Regardless of their anger, he never should have said those things. She had said some terrible things in blind anger before, but never like he had during their fight.

Even now, thinking about it, she felt so incredibly small and pathetic. To think she had thought he cared, even as a friend. To think she had done those things with him, only for him to throw it back in her face now. It hurt. It really hurt.

"You really shouldn't have walked on them. The coals, I mean. It was pretty stupid, really."

At this, she finally glanced at him, though it would've been better if he had never spoke and she had never
looked.

"Well, you would know all about stupid, wouldn't you."

She stood up quickly, shoving the ice packs against his chest as she passed him. Their hands briefly touched as he reached up to keep the ice packs from falling, and YeongMi quickly retreated before she could let the soft touch distract her from her anger.

She walked away, trying to escape as quickly as she could. Which, admittedly wasn't quite so quick. It didn't help that with every step, pain shot through her feet.

Walking on the coals was pretty stupid. It had seemed like a good idea at the time.

Those ice packs were seeming mighty tempting at this point in time. So, despite the pain it caused her pride, she waited in the hallway for a few minutes before returning to the room.

Only to find Namjoon sitting in the chair. He turned to look at her, irritatingly looking like he had expected her to come back.

Well, she never would've if she'd known that he would stay. She was already caught, but still, she was tempted to leave again.

He stood up, approaching her slowly, as if he was walking towards a wild animal that could attack at any moment, any movement.

Smart move, for once.

"YeongMi, I'm sorry."

She pursed her lips and glanced to the side; she wouldn't apologize, and she wouldn't acknowledge his apology. The only move she made was holding out her hand. It was the closest he would get to an invitation.

With a heavy sigh, he dropped the packs into her hand, staring at her a little longer than she liked, before brushing past her and disappearing into one of the many rooms.

YeongMi took a few breaths before retreating to her own room. As she sat in the bed and iced her feet, she scowled to herself.

"Stop trying to make me forgive you Namjoon. It's not going to work." This promise was less certain than the previous ones. The wind wasn't around to hear it, so she was worried she might not keep it.