My Brother's Best Friend

Oh Mother

It was a chilly day today. Carol wouldn't let me leave the house until I was bundled up to look like a giant air bag of clothes. Noah made sure I was covered up today too. So did Finn.........and Santana.......and Kurt.

I really do appreciate everyone and how much they care, but I'm tired of being smothered to death! I am carrying a baby, not walking on one leg with no arms, or dying. Just carrying a baby. Sure it's exhausting, but it doesn't make me handicap!

"Rachel!"

I slowly turn towards the opposite direction of the front door. Life can be pretty cruel. But the most cruel thing about it, is that it makes you see things that could have been, things that could literally alter your life, had they not been so shitty. In fact do you know what the saddest word in the human dictionary is? Almost.

A word where things could have happened but never did. I almost got first place, I almost saved a friendship, I almost met my mother as a clean sober person. I almost thought I wouldn't get pregnant like her.

"I heard you're having a baby" she said jittery

For once, in a long while, she almost looked normal. Her hair was in a bun and she had clean clothes and her face was covered up with little bits of makeup. She almost looked like the woman who use to care for us.

"When I heard about you, I decided it was time to clean up and um, try to get you guys back" she shifted uncomfortably

"Why?" I questioned this

"I miss my kids, it's as simple as that and I actually got an apartment with four bedrooms, um one for your brother and you, and even the baby gets to have its own room!" She explained hopeful

But I lost hope a long time ago. So you can imagine why it was hard for me to believe her. She seemed so proud and determined to get us back.

"After all these years, you finally want to try and be a mother? I'm almost eighteen lily, how does that make a difference from everything you missed out on because you needed coke more than your own damn children!" I yelled frustrated

"I know, I know I was a terrible mother but I'm trying here Rachel, I really am, I've been sober for almost three weeks now, it's actually been pretty hard but I'm doing it for you guys" she explained

"Than why is it so hard for me to believe you? All my life you were gone and Noah and I spent our lives in shitty foster homes with even shittier people and it's all because of you! We could have been normal! Happy even! But it's too late now, you missed out on that opportunity a loooong time ago." I finished

I began walking towards the inside but I saw her reflection and I felt bad, so all I said was "you're a little ten years too late......mom" I cried

I walked inside and all I could do was cry, and not hormonal crying, but cry. Like really cry. It's not even for me, it's for the little girl I once knew who waited for her mom to come back..........but she never did.