THE DAY HE BECAME RUTHLESS: The Metaphorical Series #2

ONE

Post summer of 2008 was the preamble of everything.

Maingay kaming nag-unahan ni Sue na makarating sa microwave pagkatunog nito. Hinuli ko ang braso niya upang iatras siya palayo ngunit ni hindi nangalahati ang lakas ko sa kanya.

"Ako nauna! Ako magbubukas!" asar niya nang makawala sabay agaw ng mitten mula sa akin at dinila ako.

"Daya mo!"

Umikot nalang ako sa counter upang kumuha ng mga plato. Akala ko kasi mapagsabay ko ang pagkuha ng mitten at ang pagtapik sa oven kaya siya tuloy nauna. Little did I know, my younger sister's arms were longer. Kapwa kami matatangkad ngunit mas angat siya sa akin nang dalawang pulgada.

Dahil weekend at walang pasok ay naisipan niyang gumawa ng lasagna.  Cooking  is her first love. Taga nood lang ako at taga tikim. At dahil siya ang naunang makarating sa oven ay ako ang maghuhugas ng pagkakainan namin. Ako ang magpapakintab ng kusina!

"Ang bango...kainin na natin iyan," natatakam kong sabi sabay lapag ng mga plato sa island counter.  Sue's undivided attention was full on slicing the pasta.

"Wait lang. Si dad muna..."

Umupo ako sa high stool at pumalumbaba. Galing sa hinahati niyang pagkain ay humiwa sa kanya ang paningin ko saka tumitig.

Seeing her serious face reminds me of our mother. She's more on the Spanish side samantalang kuha ko ang halong Kastila at French features kay daddy.

Mabilis ko ring ibinaba ang mga mata sa lasagna. Now that's a better and edible view. Because Sue's serious face is exactly the look my mother imprinted in my memory before she turned her back away from us. Suitcase in her hand. A barrel bag on her shoulder.

I was young kaya hindi ko pa naiintindihan noon. I was laced with blissful innocence and thought fairy tales and reality are one. Akala ko'y nag-abroad siya, kaya iyon ang dinala kong paniniwala hanggang sa lumaki ako't humulma ang matinong malay at maraming napagtanto.

Leaving never sounded appealing to my hearing sense. Puwera na lang kung may magandang naidudulot ang pag-alis. Either a new beginning. New story. A change of outlook. As a kid, I had this inference that if someone leaves, we would feel the fresh start dahil may nabawasang tao sa buhay mo.

But then, it never got light. Her leaving left a heavy burden.

She left us with my father who I respected very well for upkeeping his marriage to her. Hindi siya naghanap ng iba. May nireto pa si Sue sa kanya na biyudang ina ng classmate niya pero tinawanan lang ito ni dad at inilingan.

The proverbial circumstance that the good people were the ones being left behind in the end. Someone who has been faithful, or stays true to their marriage. Kung ano man ang nagawa ni dad, I'm sure that's forgivable. I had a frontseat show how my father handled my mother leaving.Whatever he did, that shouldn't have been her reason for doing what she did. 

That entails me to not be good all the time. Kahit ano naman ang ugali mo, kasing bait ka man ng santo, iiwan ka pa rin. May iiwan pa rin sa iyo. Notwithstanding your innocence.

Thinking about that past doesn't sound appealing to my appetite either kaya bago pa ako maanod palayo ng utak ko ay kinain ko na ang nasa aking plato.

Saktong lumagapak ang mga tsinelas ni dad pababa ng hagdan kasabay ang boses niyang may kausap sa cellphone.

"O sige, itatawag ko iyan kay Nelson. Sabihin mo kamo na bilisan na. The project deadline is fast approaching..."

We're used to dad's late night calls from clients and employers of the construction company to where the main branch is in Laguna. With his younger brother, our uncle Nelson, naipatayo nila ang kompanya simula nang nagtapos ito ng Engineering.