THE DAY HE BECAME RUTHLESS: The Metaphorical Series #2

NINETEEN

Bumaon na ang kamay ni Dean sa buhok ko at minamasahe roon ang parte ng aking batok. The pace is in parallel to his slow kisses as I am also working on what I was told.

One more sip at his bottom lip, I let go.

Napapikit ako nang pareho kaming magbitaw. I swallowed and breathed rapidly as the feel of his warmth on my lips had me replay everything in my mind. Inuugoy ako ng sariling pintig ng nagliliyab kong puso.

My heartbeat's on a race it hurts. Namamanhid ang labi ko upang makapagsalita.

"Am I forgiven?"

Napakislot ako. I almost regret the plea in my whisper but I couldn't put a stop to it since it is exactly how I feel. I am desperate for his forgiveness.

"What do you think? You might want to kiss me some more just to make sure."

Umirap ako sabay magaan na hampas sa kanyang dibdib. Siguro okay na kami dahil nahahampas ko na siya. The rasp from his chuckle tamed my skin hairs to salute. Para akong tinutusok ng ilang milyong karayom at imbes na masakit ay nakikiliti ako.

I don't feel comfortable with this new found skin of mine.  Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nagawang magpakumbaba nang ganito. I have never been this submissive.

Halos nakayakap na sa akin si Dean. Nanatili ang paghaplos ng kamay niya sa aking batok. With his mouth that keeps on whispering breaths of comfort in my cheeks, kulang na lang makatulog ako sa mga bisig niya.

Lumamig na ang palad kong nakalapat sa pawisan niyang dibdib. I slightly pushed him but he barely made me do so. Humigpit ang isang kamay niya sa baywang ko upang paigtingin pa ang pagpigil sa akin.

I could feel that hand of his shouted, 'Don't!'

Pinuno ko ng hangin ang dibdib. If this is how he wants us to remain, then fine. I still feel that my apology isn't enough so I'll see to it to do whatever he wants. Even tolerate his fancies. I might even spoil him.

"Dean seriously. Sorry talaga..." malamyos kong sabi. I felt my chest inflamed as I sighed again.

"Sshh..." Banayad niyang hinalikan ang aking pisngi. Marahan akong napapikit.

"There are things that affected me at hindi ko alam paano sasabihin...You know I don't talk about my...problems..."

Halos hindi ko matapos ang sinasabi ko. His kisses travelled to my hair and I don't know how I should entertain that. Kung tutulugan ko ba ito o mas dadamhin pa. Pinakiramdaman ko ang sariling tila yelong natutunaw.

"Oh how I loathed my impatience that it didn't make me wait for you to tell me, Ruth. With that, I'm at fault, too."

He doesn't say sorry often. But words that bordered close to an apology is his style. Siguro dahil karaniwan. Dean hates clichés so saying sorry would make him mainstream. He doesn't like that.

Bahagya kong hinila ang sarili upang matignan siya. I still find it hard to do so. Masyado niyang idinikit ang sarili sa akin.

"Hindi ka na galit?" umaasa kong tanong.

"Magkaiba ang galit sa tampo, Ruth," aniya na hindi nagpapalit ng posisiyon.

His mouth is deep-rooted to my sweaty hair. He's still hugging me.

"You didn't talk to me. I made my move pero nagpakipot ka."

Namanhid na ang kamay kong naiipit sa pagitan ng mga dibdib namin kaya nilipat ko sa baywang niya. Not exactly on his waist. Just the cloth of his sando on the waist part. Pati iyon ay basa sa pawis.