I sat on the couch just thinking how I'm such an idiot. I just let him walk away, I let him and there's nothing I can do about it. Well I can, but how stubborn Harry is, there's literally no way. How would I suppose to know that he cared that way about me. I feel the same about him, maybe a little bit more. But he cant get mad at me, he just threw it in my face, and to mention that I was high as the fucking clouds. How would he accept me to react? Fucking happy as a leprechaun seeing a rainbow. Hell no I was shocked, so shocked I couldn't even form a sentence. Thinking about his actions early makes me want to be mad at him more than he's probably mad at me.
Ugh boys are so complicated, if he would have just admit his feeling earlier, then none of this would have happened. I need a drink, getting up from the couch I went to my mums alcohol cabinet. She thinks that I don't know where it is, but she doesn't know how to hide things. Hell she doesn't even really pay attention to how empty her bottles are.
Pouring the vodka into my glass, I gulped it down in seconds. They say if you drink alone, then you are an alcoholic, but fuck that I can drink if I want. Shit its the only way to shut down my always going mind. It never shuts the fuck up.
I was probably on my third glass of vodka, but I couldn't care less. Its the only way to get rid of my fucking problems I thought. Drinking the vodka plain with nothing in it, burns like hell. But, after my 5th glass, my mind was to cloudy to even think about the tastes. Hell I couldn't even see straight, and the weed is fading a little from the stupid ass argument me and Harry had. Stupid Harry, you ruined my high asshole. Just thinking about his stupid face makes me drink more.
Pouring about my 8th glass, it half way filled the cup until it was all gone. Groaning at how the bottle got empty so quick. I gulped down what was left in the glass. I felt like a feather so light and free.
Everything around made me laugh, like my mums stupid gym equipment that she never used, and my brothers dumb stuff animals that lay on the floor in our living room. Why does he even have stuff animals, thinking about it makes me laugh harder.
Walking up the stairs, I tried not to trip on my own feet as I reached my room. Lazily laying on my bed, I reached for my phone noticing the small crack in the upper left hand corner. My vision was bad as a blind man. It probably wasn't even a crack in my phone. Pushing on the contact number as I sighed, waiting for the only voice I want to hear that makes me smile, as the phone rang. Which went straight to voice mail. Why wasn't he answering.
Frowning I took out my cigarette's, lighting one. I dragged it tell I couldn't breathe. Filling my lung with the poison as I layed my head on my pillow. My head hurt like hell, getting up from my comfortable spot I went down stairs grabbing my moms scotch bottle, walking back up stairs.
I went to my bathroom grabbing a bottle of aspirins and pouring about a hand full in my hand, as I drowned the small pills with scotch. I lazily turned on the water to my bath tub letting it feel before drinking the scotch one last time before putting it on the floor beside the tub. I took off my clothes, before getting in the warm but hot water. After about fifteen minutes of sitting in my own misery I felt the darkness take over my senses. If I die, I don't think I would care any way, what's really to live for.
Harry's P.O.V
"So we meet again" Hollie smirked as she entered my house. I rolled my eyes at her short dress, which was a little to short for my liking.
"Did you tell her" she asked taking off her coat and throwing it on my couch.
"Tell her what" I frowned following her to my bedroom.
"That you liked her, I guess not depending on why I'm here" She smirked grabbing the end of my shirt.
"Its none of your fucking business" I hissed as she pulled my shirt up taking it completely off, and throwing it own the floor beside me.
"Whatever I'm not complaining" She spoke kissing my neck. This would be my number one turn on, but I feel numb to all of this. She just didn't care like you did get it together Harry,move on my conscience spoke. As hard as I want to move on I just cant Yaz is literally all I think about.
"Kiss me" Hollie desperately whined looking up at me. But I didn't move. She sighed and started kissing me as she pushed me to the bed. This is to take the pain away, I thought at she took off her shirt, and her jeans leaving her in just her underwear in bra.
As I narrowed my eyes I couldn't help but think that it was Yaz in front of me instead of Hollie. I could feel the blood rushing through my lower region giving me an hard on as I thought about Yaz naked body in front of me. My phone vibrated in my pocket, Hollie took it out looking at it then tossing it to the end of the bed.
"Who was that" I asked as she took off my jeans, then sliding down my boxers in the process.
"No one important" she smiled, I didn't think nothing about it as she slides the condom on my length.
Comment BROCHO'S I want to know what you think about this chapter.
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My Brother's Babysitter (Harry Styles Fanfic)
Fanfiction"My biggest fear is that eventually you will see me the way I see myself" This book contains: sexual assault, sexual content, profanity,and drug abuse.
