I saw you first (Sons of Anarchy Fanfic)

I Love You

Time to myself. That's what I needed. But around the sons ... impossible! I was under constant surveillance and today was no different as I rode with Chibs to the hospital, it was time for that pregnancy test.
"You'll be ok love" Chibs said as he kissed my forehead and lead me into the room.
"Can you wait outside?" I said hesitantly, he looked shocked but nodded and turned around and closed the door.
I was grateful for the moment of peace, I have been beyond stressed about this appointment and the guy's have done everything they can to keep my mind off it, but, i needed these few moments to think about it. What would I do if it was positive? The Dr came into the room breaking my thoughts.

Have you ever had your world come crashing down around you? Have you ever felt so numb you swore you would never feel anything again or what anything has ever felt like? Well that's how I felt when the Doctor told me I was pregnant. 
I never heard what the Doctor had said after she told me, all I saw was Chibs running into the room as I fell to my knees.
"Why is this happening to me?" I sobbed into chibs' chest.  Chibs stayed silent as he stroked my hair.
The Doctor at that moment spoke up
"Would you mind if I did an ultrasound?"
I looked up at her and nodded weakly. 
She smiled. "I know it's too early in the pregnancy to really be able to see anything, but even though the blood test confirmed it we need to make sure."
Chibs helped me up off the ground and onto the exam table. 
"Can you stay this time?" I asked him.
"Of course I'll stay, I'm not going anywhere"
When the Doctor was done she pulled my top back down and walked away to talk to a nurse.  I was starting to get worried, then she came back over.
"I have some bad news for you, you are pregnant but it's an ectopic pregnancy, we are going to have to remove your baby as it will not be safe for you to continue this pregnancy."
I stared at her unable to speak, I couldn't believe what she was saying and for some strange reason I felt relief and then sadness and anger because that baby was also mine and it was like one more stab in the back from that bastard.  The Doctor released me from my thoughts once again
"I've spoken to the nurse and we are going to go ahead with the procedure this afternoon"
"Ok" it was all I could say. 
I turned towards Chibs who had tears in is eyes
"I love you lass" he said
In these moments of weakness he was there for me and I could hear it in his voice he really did love me.
" I love you to"
The nurses came back to get me and helped me onto another bed and as they wheeled me off down the corridor Chibs wouldn't let go of my hand until the very last minute as they pushed open the doors to theatre.
"I love you" he whispered.
He would have made a good father I thought to myself.