Bound To You

CHAPTER 41

I stopped the car and stepped out of it. I pressed the doorbell and the maid let me in right away because I am a resident guest here. I don't need to ask where to find the person I was looking for. Alam na alam ng mga paa ko ang lugar kung nasaan siya like my feet have their own minds.

I knocked for a change. Ayoko ng basta ko na lang pihitin ang doorknob at buksan yung pinto ng kwarto niya like I always do, because I just realized that it's invasion of privacy. Tss. Ngayon ko lang napagtanto. How could I?

I smiled when she opened the door and finally got face to face to her again. Dammit! I missed her.

Mukha siyang nagulat pero madali namang nakabawi. I didn't waste a second nor let her utter any curse or incoherent words. I swiftly strode inside her room and sat in front of her laptop and did her homework.

I know she's wondering what I was doing. I actually was either. My mind needed destruction though, to refrain myself, shut up my mouth and give her time to gain guts to tell me whatever she wanted to say. However, I want to stay too. I want to be near her again. Ilang araw na din na hindi ako nakalapit sa kanya ng ganito. Just her presence made me happy, I think.

"Bakit nandito ka?" she finally asked.

Hindi ako nagsalita, pretending that I didn't hear her. But truth was, my lips was itching to speak up but I restraint myself. I need to control myself for me to be able to step back. Not move forward. Not to go to where she is. Perhaps, I have to treat her the same way I treated others. Just to make sure I will be able to do what I have to do.

"Sabihin mo na" I said after a few seconds of silence.

"Pinagsasabi mo?"

I quickly glanced at her pero binawi ko rin kaagad. "Sabihin mo na kung anuman yang sasabihin mo"

She's been mum for quite awhile. Pinilit kong hindi siya lingunin hanggang sa magsalita siya. I know her. Alam na alam ko kung gaano kataas ang pride niya. And the guiltiness may push her to apologize which would take her a lot of courage.

"Im sorry.." she then said which made my fingers stop from typing.

"For what?" mabilis kong tanong at pinagpatuloy ulit ang pagtatype ng sagot sa homework niya. It's just a piece of cake though, unlike whatever Im feeling right at this moment. Tss.

"Sa nangyari kay Troy"

I pressed the Control+S then stood up. "Okay. Is that all?" I asked.

She stared at me disbelievingly but I didn't stared back.

"Yun lang"

Mabilis akong lumabas ng kwarto niya ng hindi nagpaalam. Then I released a long deep breath when I finally closed the door.

Hearing her saying sorry made me caught off guard. I expected it but I wasn't prepared when I actually heard it. I closed my eyes and bit my lower lip. I wanted to open the door, come back inside her room again and hug her right now and tell her it's okay, that she doesn't need to say sorry.. But I stopped myself from doing anything and walked bristly away from her room instead.

"Trystan" Pam's father called as I descended the stairs.

"Papa" I smiled awkwardly.

He tilted his head then stared at me. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin dahil ayokong may mabasa siya sa ekspresyon ng mukha ko.

"Alam mo ba kung ano ang gusto ni Pam?" he asked.

I released a sigh of relief then my brows furrowed in confusion.

"Po?"

"May nababanggit ba siya sayong kahit ano na gusto niyang ipabili sakin?"

Saglit akong nag-isip and one thing comes into my mind. Im not in favor about it pero sigurado akong ayun ang gusto niya.

I sighed. "Sa kanya po ba yung motorbike?" I suddenly asked.

Father shook his head as his forehead creased. Maybe he's got the idea too.

"I think she wants one" I said.

"Sa tingin mo, dapat ko ba siyang ibili? Masyado kasing delikado yun"
I nodded in agreement immediately. Of course I won't agree but.. I don't have a say about it. It's their business, not mine at baka mas lalo pang magalit sakin si Pam kapag nalaman niyang ako yung dahilan ng hindi pagbili sa kanya ng motorbike. Tss. Ang hirap naman nito.

"I know it's too risky but if that what makes her happy.. Why not give her her happiness?"

Father smiled genuinely then patted my shoulder. "Kaya gustong gusto kita e" he said as he nodded his head.

It's heartwarming feeling, honestly. I always feel so happy whenever Papa says those kind of things to me.

"Thanks Pa" I smiled.

"Ako dapat ang magthank you. I owe you a lot son."

Mas lalong lumaki yung ngiti ko pero nawala din agad.

Umiling ako. "No, Pa. Im so grateful that you trust me"

He laughed then patted my shoulders again. He, out of the blue, told me that he misses Pam's empanada which surprises me. I didn't know she knows how to cook too, and I wouldn't miss a thing to taste it, kaya nagvolunteer akong ako na yung magpapaluto kay Pam.

"Im kinda persuasive Pa" I grinned when I saw hesitation in his eyes.

Father nodded.

I visited the room next to Pam wherein the pandas I gave were located. Father gave me a duplicate key and said that he'll give Pam the master key. I didn't protest, Pam had the right to know that those pandas are not totally abandoned.

"Mahal mo ba ang anak ko?" Father suddenly said.

I closed the door and frowned. He stared at me seriously then tilted his head as if he was seeking for some assurance. My heart thumped wildly at the sudden question. I wasn't prepared for it. I haven't told anyone about me being in love. Guess action is indeed louder than words huh?

I took a deep breath then look straight into his eyes "Yes, I love her" I answered honestly, with all my heart.

Father smiled then released a sigh. He looked at me with regrets in his eyes as if he knew what's going on and that makes my heart ache again.
"Gusto kita para sa kanya pero hindi naman ako ang masusunod" Umiiling na sabi nito.

I smiled weakly at him then shrugged. I don't know what to response. His words was too much encouragement to keep me going but I already settled myself to step out of the way because not all battles are meant to fight for. Some things doesn't work the way you want it to be and all you have to do is to accept it and compromise.

Little by little, I would step back until the distance are too far that it's impossible for me to step forward.. I won't step in their way. I will compromise and let her be where she wanted to be.