Bound To You

CHAPTER 51

Pam quickly looked away. I can't take my eyes off her kung hindi lang ako tinapik ni Raven sa balikat.

"Ano? May feelings ka pa rin?"  umiiling siya "I thought you've moved on?" nalilito niyang tanong.

I shook my head then ruffled my hair. "I don't think I could even move a bit"

"Oh? Eh.. Paano si Ashley? Kung hindi talaga kayo, baka umaasa yun"

Napatingin ako sa exit door ng canteen at nakita doon si Ashley. I looked at Raven then tapped his shoulder.

"I made it clear bago ko pa 'to simulan. Im just really helping her, kasama sila Tita Brenda. No personal feelings involved. At kahit gustuhin ko mang madivert ang feelings ko - which I admit I tried - there's no use" I grinned. "Wala e, Pamela's already marked in my whole system. They screamed her name"

I didn't wait for Raven's reaction. Sinundan ko na agad si Ashley kung saan man siya pupunta. Though, it was very hard to walk pass by Pamela, ginawa ko pa rin ng hindi nililingon ang direksyon kung nasaan yung table nila. Baka kasi hindi na ako makaalis. So, I ignored them when I heard Yanna called my name.

These passed few days, I made myself busy because the more I missed her, the more vulnerable I become. And when im vulnerable, I have tendency to do impulsive things again, which I don't want to happen dahil sobrang liit na nung ego ko. My pride is the only reason left kung bakit hindi ako naghahabol. I already give up battling with my feelings. My heart was too stubborn to forget it's owner, kaya wala na akong magagawa doon. Pride na lang talaga ang natitira sakin dahil sobrang selfish ng puso ko.

I stopped when I had enough distance from her then looked back. I saw how her forehead creased as she played with her foods. I wanted to run back there and lecture her that it's bad to play with her food. But then I heaved a sigh and continued walking as to where Ashley is.

I found her at the garden of the school. I sat beside her and fixed my eyes on the flowers that's yet to bloom.

"You should've stayed there" sabi niya bigla dahilan ng paglingon ko sa kanya.

She smiled at me then looked away. Tumayo siya at lumapit sa mga bulaklak. There are few butterflies who are freely flying around. My eyes never leaving Ashley though, afraid that she'll breakdown any minute which always happens whenever we're alone.

No one knew about it. I've never mentioned it to anyone bukod kay Tita Brenda. Weeks had passed since the day her father says bad words to her. She couldn't accept it. Who can, anyway? I might go ballistic if im in her shoes. Tita Brenda did something when she learned about it and I never saw her father in the hospital since then. Hindi na lang ako nagtanong. I don't want to be nosy coz I don't have any right to know everything about her. Im not her boyfriend and I don't have plan to be one.

"You miss her. Dapat hindi mo na 'ko sinundan" she added whilst her back still facing me.

I didn't answer and just let her say whatever she wanted to say.

"Im fine, Trystan. I can handle myself alone" she then turned to me and smiled.

It was almost heartbreaking to see her trying to look fine. I feel bad for her. I've treated her bad the first time we've met. You cannot blame me, she's creeping me out back then pero naglie-low naman after kong maintindihan yung situation niya. Then this day came, I feel responsible with her. She's like an orphan now. If Mom and Dad knew about this, baka magpresinta pa silang ampunin at patirahin sa bahay si Ashley.

I stood up and walked towards to where she was standing. She looked up at me and I noticed buds of tears in the corner of her eyes. I sighed then envelope her in a hug.