Bound To You

CHAPTER 52

I ruffled my hair then groaned as I turned back to my car and left the place without leaving any trace. Good thing no one saw me there. I can't face them, I can't face her. Fvck this cowardice. But I don't want her to pitty me when I suddenly confessed. No, not gonna happen. That's the last thing I want her to feel towards me.

"Saan ka galing?" asked Raven the moment I entered my condo.

"You sounded like Mom" I stated nonchalantly as I slumped my body on the couched next to him. I feel so drained.

"Hindi mo ba alam na I promised Tita Honey na aalagaan kita kapalit ng pagtira ko dito?"

"Tss"

"So.. Galing ka kina Ashley?" he protruded.

I heaved a sighed then shut my eyes. "Yeah and dropped by Pam's house"

"Really? E, bakit ang aga mo? Hindi ka pa dun nagdinner?"

I looked at Raven and frowned. "For someone who claimed himself as straight as flagpole guy, you sure are so nosy like a curious little girl. Have you really check your gender"

He scoffed at me, obviously offended by what I just had said. "I told you for the nth times, im straight as flagpole and as capital I! Pasalamat ka best friend kita at alam kong my pinagdadaanan ka." He shook his head in disbelief, "Im just really curious about your actions. You said you're still in love with Pam pero ang sweet mo kay Ashley. Kung hindi talaga kita kilala iisipin kong nahulog ka na talaga kay Ashley"

"How I wish.." I mumbled as I stared at the ceiling.

"So, hindi talaga? For the past months na magkasama kayo, hindi nagwaver yang feelings mo kay Pam?"

I gently shook my head.

"That only means, hindi attractive si Ashley" he said matter-of-factly.

I glanced at him and saw him grinning while looking at his phone. I clicked my tongue, for sure, he's texting Yanna, informing whatever we're talking about as of this moment.

"To be honest, she's easy to fall in love with" sabi ko which caught his attention.

"What?"

I smiled then looked back at the ceiling. "Madaling mapamahal kay Ashley, if you may ask"

Raven gasped like a gay who was exaggeratedly acted shocked. I chuckled at his reaction. I can see that he didn't expect I would say it.

"Now I freaking confused! Ugh bro! Enlighten me please!" Raven grunted.
It really felt so good teasing him and I dont feel guilty making fun of him.

"I tried to love her" I said for the second time in case he forgot I just told him this earlier, "But I can't. I don't want to fool myself and most especially, I don't want her to be a rebound. That would make my situation more complicated"

Raven sighed, "It's actually not complicated, kung aamin ka lang. Bakit ba kasi ang duwag mo?"

My jaw clenched as my lips pursed. Confessing is easy kung wala akong masasagasaan. That's what they couldn't understand.

"There are times I wish I was a bad guy. The one who can do whatever he wants to do and wouldn't care whatever outcome and consequences would be. I want to do that, you know" I said solemnly which I knew Raven wouldn't get.

A ring on Raven's phone broke the silence after a few seconds. I saw Raven smiled widely at napailing na lang ako. I guess it's Yanna.

"Yes babes?" he greeted "Yeah?.. Sigurado ka? Pero.. Okay, if you say so.. of course! I'll support you all the way.. Okay, I--" he frowned then looked at his phone then groaned "Bakit binaba niya agad? Hindi pa ko nakakapag I love you!"

"Kayo na ba?" I asked.

"Malapit na" he quickly answered whilst smiling widely.

Bipolar. Tss.

"So.. What did she say? Is she planning something again for me?"

Raven turned to me then smirked. It's the annoying smirk I hated seeing in him. That smirk's shouts evil plan.

"What is it?" I narrowed my eyes on him with pure suspicion.

"Wala" he shrugged, "She just told me to let you handle it on your own since mukha naman daw wala ka na talagang pag-asa kay Pam"

My forehead creased unable to utter a word. Walang pag-asa.

"Di ba nabanggit ko sayong galit si Pam kay Ian? Well.. Okay na pala sila. Sabi ni Yanna pinatawad na ni Pam si Ian and the two are doing good again"

I know. No one have to tell me. I saw it earlier. Tss.

Tumayo na ko at pumasok sa kwarto ko. Narinig ko pang may pahabol si Raven pero hindi ko na pinansin. My mind was too occupied, I don't want to add some more information about them doing good.

xxx

I feel like a zombie when I woke up. Ashley and I didn't talk since I picked her up. Hindi naman kasi siya pala tanong and it's really fine for me. I saw Pam's car as we entered the school premises. Sinadya kong magpark malayo sa pinagparkingan niya just to avoid her. Stupidity act. Tss.

"Pam!"

Mabilis kong hinanap kung sino yung sumigaw then I saw my cousin, grinning widely at me while pointing Pamela who was briskly walking at the hallway.

I shook my head. Is she teasing me? And here I thought they'll stop? Tss.

"Hi couz! Hi Ashley!" Yanna greeted nang makalapit na siya samin.

"H-hi" nahihiyang bati ni Ashley.

I narrowed my eyes to Yanna who's still grinning while staring at Ashley.

"Stop it Yanna" I reprimanded.

"What? What's wrong with greeting?" she scowled at me.

"Stop whatever you're planning. Wag mo ng idamay si Ashley, she's been through a lot. Don't add the burden"

Yanna's eyebrow arched "What are you saying?"

"You know what im saying. Im sure Raven told you everything"

"Oh that" she said as if she'd just remembered. "Did he told you we'll never meddle again anymore? We're tired too, you know" she said while rolling her eyes.

I stared at her and didn't say anything. She rolled her eyes again when she sensed im not actually believing her. I know her. She's not the one who easily give up once she started it unless there's enough reason to stop.

"Let's accept it. You don't stand a chance anymore" she finally said sounding frustrated. "Ian have done really bad to her but you see? She forgave him that easy. That means something right?"

I became speechless.

Hearing it from someone who really  knows Pamela makes it more painful. I don't know. Accepting it was a big factor I didn't break down. Pero nakakagulat pa rin marinig ito mula kay Yanna.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I saw Ashley giving me an assuring smile. I sighed then started walking.

Wala ako sa sarili the whole morning class. Raven tried to distract me but to no avail. My mind flew to what I saw yesterday and to what Yanna told me.

Give up?

How could I?

"Sigurado kang okay lang sayong sumabay tayo kina Yanna? We can separate.."

"It's okay. We used to eat with them" Sagot ko kay Ashley nung palapit kami sa table kung nasaan sina Raven, Yanna, and Pam.

I can see she's just worried about me. Tss. I've seen worse before my eyes that really shattered my heart into pieces. Ito pa kayang sabayan siya sa pagkain? This is more than okay actually.. or not.

I guess I was damn wrong again.

"Oh-oh" Raven mumbled when Ian suddenly came into the picture.