Phan // I Want You To Love Me

Chapter Seventeen

Jake and Phil emerged from the bathroom giggling and fully clothed, at last.
'Thanks for that,' Jake said with a wink in Phil's direction. Phil smiled in return and placed a quick kiss on Jake's lips.
'Alright, I'm heading out now. Thanks so much for everything,' Phil said quietly, glancing downwards briefly before returning his gaze to Jake's ocean-like eyes. 'I'll probably be busy over the next few days, but I'll make sure to text you.'
'Don't forget!' Jake replied, grinning.
The two boys made their way towards the front door, Phil in the lead. He reached for the door handle and pulled open the door, receiving a powerful blast of cold air. They stood in the doorway for a while longer.
'I'll see you later. Love you!' Phil said with a smile.
'Love you, too.'
And with that, Phil exited Jake's house for the first time in almost four days with the intent of returning home to visit Dan.

Expressionless, Dan stared at the wall opposite Phil's bed. He hadn't moved since god knows when. Throughout the night he remained in this position, because he felt nothing but empty. The anticipation of Phil's return had caused a sort-of light to illuminate Dan's caramel eyes only days ago, but now that hope had been replaced by overwhelming emptiness. The vastness of Dan's own mind was frightening, and he stared so vacantly at the wall in front of him that he failed to hear the front doorknob turning, mistaking the sounds for a figment of his own imagination. He failed to hear Phil's distinctly bouncy footsteps pass the room Dan occupied. Failed, even to hear Phil's soft, comforting, northern voice ring through the house like a beautiful melody. In fact, Dan was completely unaware of Phil's presence until he walked into the room and stood directly in Dan's line of sight. A shocked expression had made its way onto Phil's angelic face.

The bus journey home felt as if it lasted hours. Phil sat in silence, pondering the right choice of words to greet Dan with after nearly four days of silence. He decided a long-winded apology for his own inability to deal with difficulties would be appropriate. Phil wanted Dan to know that he wished to remain friends with Dan, best friends. Phil wanted things to go back to normal, constant inseparability, and always being able to have a good laugh together. After what felt like years, the bus pulled into the bus station outside the bland apartment block. Home at last.

After jamming the key into the lock a couple of times, Phil was able to open up the door. He took a deep breath, expecting to smell Dan's unmistakable honey-lemon scent, or at least the smell of a burning cinnamon-scented candle. Instead, the house smelled of nothing distinctive, and felt eerily empty. Phil wandered up the hallway, making his way towards Dan's room.  Upon opening the door and realising that Dan wasn't in there, Phil decided to call out.
'Dan,' he called, quietly at first. 'Dan... Daniel?'
He was beginning to worry. Why wasn't Dan replying? He decided to go to his own room first. He threw open the door before realising that Dan was sitting upright in his bed, staring mindlessly ahead at the blank, white walls. Phil made his way over to Dan and stood at the foot of the bed. Dan's pallor was startling. He was white as a sheet. The only colour on his face were the dark spots that encircled his heavy-lidded eyes. Without thinking, Phil rushed to Dan's side, throwing himself down on the bed next to Dan, running his hands across Dan's face. His forehead was burning and covered in a thin layer of cold sweat, his lips that were once pink and full, were a greyish colour, chapped and flaky.

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im in Australia !!!