Phan // I Want You To Love Me

Chapter Twenty Two

Dan had fallen asleep on the couch, completely exhausted, for the first time in four days. His head was on Phil's lap, having unintentionally fallen that way. Phil didn't want to move for fear of waking his sleeping friend, so he remained on the couch, gently running his fingers through Dan's chocolate brown locks. It was an unpleasant sleep, that much was obvious from Dan's erratic movement and occasional calling out. Phil tried his best to comfort the boy on his lap, shushing softly and keeping as still as possible, but his efforts did little to stop Dan from wriggling.

Phil ended up falling asleep aswell, Dan's head still firmly placed on his lap. The two slept for at least ten hours, catching up on the hours they lost due to worry and anxiety. Phil was the first to wake, blinded by the sunlight flooding in through the blinds that were wide open. After a quick glance at the clock, Phil saw that it was four in the morning. Dan was still lying on his thigh, hair a tousled mess. The younger boy's forearms were visible because the sleeves of his jumper had managed to become bunched at the elbow. The little scars that decorated Dan's exposed flesh caused Phil to gasp aloud. He traced a single finger over the cuts, discovering that they were made recently.

Dan felt something cold trace over his forearm, causing a stinging sensation. He opened his eyes a crack to see Phil's shocked expression. When he realised how closely he was pressed to Phil's body, he jumped up, knocking the coffee table backwards and hastily tugged his sleeves down.
'Dan... I'm sorry!' Phil cried, getting up off the sofa so that he was eye level with Dan.
'I was going to off myself, what did you expect?' Dan replied, too casually.
'Dan, please don't talk about this so frugally! We need to get you some help.' Phil moved forward to grab Dan's hand.
'Phil, I'm fine. It was just some silly thing that I did in high school.' Dan said, not pulling away from Phil's grasp.
'Your health is far from silly to me, Dan. I'm worried about you.'
Dan's breath caught in his throat, realising just how worried Phil was about him. He really did care, Dan thought. Even his own mother never showed such concern throughout his high school years.

Phil stood in the shower, watching the water pour from the shower head and onto his skin, but not feeling anything. He knew he shouldn't, but he missed Jake. Of course, there was an overwhelming anger that came with remembering Jake's sandy hair and green eyes, but he also missed running his hands through those locks and staring deep into those eyes that resembled the shallow sea. Right now, however, he needed to concentrate on Dan and his mental health. The mere thought of Dan's attempted suicide caused bile to rise up in Phil's throat and his chest to tighten. He was just so thankful that managed to get to Dan in time, and didn't want to consider what would have happened if he didn't.

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