Phan // I Want You To Love Me

Chapter Twenty

Jake was staring dumbfounded at Sarah. Phil took this opportunity to storm out of Jake and Sarah's flat.  A bus was pulling into the stop and Phil jumped on it, thankful to escape the household as quickly as possible. At that exact moment, Phil realised just how grateful he was for Dan. Dan was his shoulder to cry on, but also a constant encouragement. He was always there for Phil, whether he needed an opinion on which cereal to have or serious life advice. Phil remembered the period of time when he was trapped in a void of self doubt. He wanted to make a difference to people's lives, but just didn't know how. He confided in Dan, trusted him and asked for his opinion on such a pressing matter.

'Phil, I met you at a really rough time in my life.' Dan had said 'My family had kicked me out, and I had nowhere to live, no friends, not even any distant relatives I could talk to. But then I met you. You not only offered to share a flat with me, you offered encouragement. Phil, I think you're the reason I've made it this far.' At that point, Dan was crying and so was Phil. They relied on one another so heavily that without each other things just weren't right. He then came to a sudden realisation. He loved Dan.

Phil sprinted from the bus stop straight into the flat, not bothering to remove his jacket or shoes.
'Dan! Dan!' he called out, but received no answer.
'Dan?' he said, quieter this time. He headed back into the living room and saw that on the coffee table there was a slip of paper, folded hastily. He opened it tentatively and read.

Phil,
I'm sorry. That's all I've got to say. I'm sorry for what I've put you through over the last week. I'm sorry that I kissed you when I know that you're happy with Jake. You're too good for me, always will be. You're too good for anyone. You deserve the world but I couldn't give you anything. You're an angel, Phil. You're selfless, you're beautiful, and you'll always be a gift to whoever you happen to meet.

I don't know why I thought I deserved you. I don't know why I didn't leave you alone. I'm a burden. I came to you and wreaked havoc in your life. I'm selfish and I burdened you with my problems. It's not too late, Phil, you could still be amazing. You're what the world needs. A pure, selfless, genuine person. I love you, and I know I don't deserve to but I do.

Goodbye, you human embodiment of perfection, I'll love you forever.

Dan x

//

okay so I've written some of the doctor's appointment fic and I'll be publishing it on Friday maybe
I've also written another one where d&p are at Hogwarts bc im a giant nerd - Slytherin!phil and Hufflepuff!dan

ALSO I HOPE U ALL HAD AN AMAZING XMAS/HOLIDAY IF U DONT CELEBRATE XMAS <33