Phan // I Want You To Love Me

Chapter Eighteen

Dan could feel Phil's hands running through his hair, across his face, over his shoulders, but still, he remained still. It was only when Phil said his name, so quietly, so gently, that Dan finally cracked. Tears began to flood down his cheeks. He was sobbing uncontrollably, all the while repeating Phil's name over and over.
'Phil! Phil, please! Phil, I can't...'
Dan lifted his hands and grasped at Phil's shoulders, down to his elbows, along his forearms, just clinging to Phil, wishing that he'd stay with Dan forever. To so many people, Phil was a stranger, an acquaintance, the tall, dark haired boy on the opposite side of the road, but to Dan, Phil was everything; an angel, a best friend, the love of his life and so much more.

Dan stopped grasping desperately at Phil and became still, just staring into those beautiful, crystalline blue eyes that he would so happily plunge into. But those fantastically mesmerising blue eyes were now laced with worry, worry for Dan. Four days. A mere four days without Phil and Dan had been reduced to nothing but the shell of a human. But he was living in that exact moment. Staring into Phil's eyes. Captured by their blue depths, a point of refuge. So he stayed like this, whispering 'Phil, please, Phil' so quietly it was almost inaudible. He was hanging on the edge of a cliff, the tips of his fingers clinging onto Phil for dear life.

Dan felt something rise up inside him; something of an uncontrollable impulse. Staring into Phil's eyes he wanted to be closer. Closer than Phil and himself had ever been before. So, he impulsively leaned forward and for the first time in his life he pressed his chapped, grey lips against Phil's soft pink ones. Neither of the boys moved. Dan's fingers were still wrapped desperately around Phil's forearms. After a second, Phil jumped back, horror twisting his angelic features.
'Dan, what the hell?' he almost screamed.
'No! Phil, please I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to I swear-' Dan tried to reply but was cut off abruptly when Phil turned on his heel and stormed out the room.
'Phil, please! I-I didn't-' he cried desperately.
But Phil was already storming out the front door again. Dan tried to get out of bed but he was so weak. His legs shook as he attempted to run after Phil and only a managed five steps before he crashed to the floor, crying, trying to regain his footing to no avail, and heard the front door slam. Then realisation hit him. For a moment, just a fraction of a second, Dan could have sworn that he felt Phil kiss him back.

//

sorry this chapter's kind of crappy I wrote it at 3am lol