Phan // I Want You To Love Me

Chapter Thirty Four

Phil's heart stopped when he felt as if Dan had remained silent for too long. He suddenly became very aware of everything around himself. He could feel coldness seeping through his trousers and onto his knee, which was pressed against the cool grass, the evening breeze threw his hair around and onto his face at random intervals, and there was a tightness that grew around his chest. Phil felt as if he was drowning, the weight of the question tugging relentlessly at his ankles and trying to pull him under an ocean of doubt.

He was powerless to defy the cruel ocean current that swelled and shoved mercilessly, but, with shaking fingers, he reached out to shore and screamed without sound for Dan to catch his hand and pull him to safety. He looked desperately into the distance for the familiar golden brown eyes that he had sought comfort in so many times before, but Dan was a reflection of his own apparent uncertainty, as he flickered and merged with the shoreline.

Anxiety, however, has become infamous for disfiguring visual perceptions and because of this, Phil had mistaken Dan's silence for uncertainty. Instead, the brown haired boy's voice had been taken away from him by sudden, overwhelming joy. He was frozen, held still by the pure happiness that had begun to course through his veins and rush up to his head in an elegant kinethsesia. He stared at the boy in front of him, with his mouth slightly agape, wanting nothing more than to scream in an attempt to release the flood of emotions that attacked him from inside or to surround the boy before him in a passionate embrace because Dan was unable to convey the overwhelming love he felt for Phil in words.

They stayed silent for what felt like years, and Phil couldn't tear his gaze away from the brunette's chocolate brown eyes as he searched them desperately for any sort of indication of emotion. Unfortunately, the insidious fear of rejection had clouded his view and twisted the outside world into a towering jungle that belittled the blue eyed boy. Phil's fingers, that were now white from gripping the black velvet of the ring box, began to shake and his lips began to tremble.

Dan noticed this and the happiness surrounding him loosened its vice-like grip, allowing for Dan to cry 'Yes!' then fall to his knees and engulf Phil in a hug that would appeared to last forever. Phil breathed an audible sigh of relief and let his hands fall to his side, still holding the ring but loosely now, which allowed for Dan to wrap his arms even tighter.

//

that was very dramatic, i know