Hamilton One Shots

Philips' "imaginary" friend (lams[pt3]) (past AU)

December 10, 1793
At night in Alexander's office

John appeared in the office with a soft breeze that blew the candle next to Alexander's desk. Alexander saw this. He stopped writing. Should I say anything....I know John is here...do I say anything? He asked himself. He glanced behind his shoulder and finally manged to choke out a soft, "John?"

John looked at Alexander for a moment. He bit the inside of his lip trying to refrain from letting out sobs.

John knew he had to move on but, he couldn't. He knew Alexander finally had a good life, a wife and children. He knew that he wasn't doing anything good being there for Philip. If anything he was probably causing pain for Alexander. Despite him knowing all of this he just couldn't help himself. He made the candle flicker a bit.

Alexander stared at the candle. "...john? John, I know you're here," Alexander stated and he looked aroudd, "Philip talks about you a lot. At first I thought- I thought it was just an imaginary friend phase."

"...but It wasn't." John spoke.

"Y'know, all kids have those. But it...it never ended. He kept insisting that you where real and Philip never really lies," Alexander spoke with a some what shaky voice. "But I mean, it's not like I can believe him, can I?"

"Yeah you can," John said.

"But I need proof. John. I- I need proof," Alexander took off his glasses and turned around in his chair, "John I- I miss you. I miss you more than anything," tears started to stream down his face.

John covered his mouth and tried to not cry along with Alexander but it didn't work. "I miss you too Alex...I want more than anything to be with you."

John looked at the candle again. All he had to do was blow, and Alexander would be his again. Still he hesitates. "...if I do it...I re-enter his life... It's wrong. He's happy. I-it doesn't matter if he loves me..." John stepped back.

"John...John please..." Alexander wept as he set his head back down on the desk.

"If I do this his life falls apart. Everything he's worked for..." John sobbed. He looked at Alexander, "I can't do that to him...he's already crying at the thought of me. What would happen if he talked to me? He wouldn't stop. He would talk to me even if I'm not there."

Alexander picked up his head and looked at the candle, "John..."
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Okay so, there is gonna be more of this. I just felt it was something necessary because this thought has been floating in my mind forever. So yeah ~Abby