The Heartbreaker And The Heartless ⏤ GARMAU

//20//

-/Garroth/-

"Mom, I don't really want to talk about it right now. I'll tell you later, okay?" She nods and shuts the door.

I still love Aphmau.

I will always still love Aphmau. She's everything to me.

And losing your everything isn't the best thing.

Laurance has been trying to tell me all of these things. He has the best intentions.

Though sometimes it can get annoying.

He told me that it was going to get better and that the hurt will heal. He's right.

But I lost her.

And I didn't prepare myself for the worst. Maybe I'll find someone else.

But my heart only beats for her. And I broke her heart. I sat on my bed, as I let the tears flow.

And my heart was shattered. Because I did it again.

I fell in love.

And I got the same outcome I got before.

Heartbroken.

But, isn't that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome?

Was love insanity?

Or was I just unlucky?

Maybe it was a mix of both. But it didn't really matter because I'm nothing without her.

I'm never touching anything alcoholic again.

Never again.

That was the mindset that was starting to kick in. But that was the worst mindset to have.

There are other girls out there.

But she was the one.

The one for me.

•••

-/Aphmau/-

I still felt sad about it deep inside. Because I felt a connection.

And that connection just snapped. Like it was just totally gone. There was a deep pull in my chest to just go back.

To get him back.

But he was just going to break my heart all over again. It's like I'm on some kind of loop.

And I wouldn't like to be on a loop. I don't want to break up with someone and get back together with them.

That defeats the whole purpose of a relationship. That's why I can't go back.

Even though my heart was longing for him.

Even though something inside me knows that I should say something.

I'm not going to be stupid when it comes to love.

I'm going to listen to my head, not my heart. Because it was stupid for me to do that.

And I'm starting to get tired of the same old things. Seeing Garroth around, seeing all my friends.

It's just become boring. And I feel like I'm a broken record, doing the same thing over again.

Wake up, school, (I would go be with Garroth, but that's out of the picture.) go home and sleep.