My Brother's Bestfriend-Louis Tomlinson Fanfic

Chapter 64

I must have stared at my glass of vodka for a good 15 minutes. I wasn't thinking though, my mind was just blank. Completely blank. Something just stopped me from picking up the glass.

"If you are going to stare at you might as well just give it to me," the bartender laughed. She was a blonde, slightly attractive and probably the same age as me. If this was a couple of months ago I would have picked her up already and tried fucking her in the bathroom. Maybe that's why I couldn't pick up the glass, because I didn't want to go back. "So what's the story? Alcoholic, underage or first timer?" she asked.

"I haven't drank in weeks," I muttered. I remember  drinking a little bit ago, but it was just a couple sips of beer nothing too overwhelming. Even then I didn't really like it much.

"Oh so alcoholic?" No but I was pretty close a couple months ago.

"Nope."

"So why did you stop?" Why was she asking me so many questions? Didn't she have other men to talk to and flirt with? I am not in the mood for women right now. Unless it is Jess. I can't get her out of my head and it's driving me crazy. I just keep picturing her crying. Oh fuck it. I slammed back the shot feeling the burn down my throat. It's been so long since I had that feeling.

"For a girl."

"Oh one of those demanding ones...."

"No. I made the decision to stop. She didn't even have a say in it," I grumbled. She didn't which was something I liked about Jess. She never tried to change me, she took me as I am. I wish she could still do that. Take me as this me not the other me I was lying about. But I don't blame her if she won't.

"Sounds like a keeper. So why are you sitting here by yourself than?" she asked. She handed me another shot and I gladly took it.

"Because I lied to her about something pretty major. And I am also a terrible boyfriend. Or I guess was..." I changed my mind at the last minute. I could have treated Jess better. But I just didn't know how, I forgot what it was like to be in a relationship.

"Well you know girls come and go."

"I know. I have seen many girls come and go. But this one was different, I wanted this one to stay." This was really cliché. Me talking to the bartender about my problems almost like a movie. Jess always compared things to movies and I wondered if it was because she spent hours upon hours in her room before I met her. I guess Jess and I both changed and maybe that's why things stopped working between us.

"How badly do you want her?" she asked placing some brown liquid in a glass with ice in front of me.

"Badly. Like I would rather be with her and fighting then with out." I love her so fucking much and I never got to prove it.

"Then prove that to her. And don't fucking stop until she takes you back because if I was her I would want to know that you would fight for me. And you wouldn't stop because that's how much I meant to you. If you are willing to put time and effort in to this relationship, then you make sure you get her back." She had a point. If I could just prove to Jess how much I love her then maybe just maybe she will forgive me. I was praying she would forgive me. The reason I haven't sunken in to state of self hate and depression yet was because I still had this feeling that it wasn't over yet. And if it was over I need to hear her say it and see it in her eyes. "But if you are not committed to her 100% then don't even try because letting her go will be doing her a favor. Got it?" she threatened.

"Ya I do. I think I understand now." My mind finally made a connection. If I want Jess back I'm going to have to fight for her. If I really want her I will get her.