Children of The Dark (An Aphmau FNAF Crossover) [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter 45: Live The Fullest

Aphmau woke to a start, fresh sweat coating her forehead and sticking to her hair, but also cooling her as the air conditioner chilled her.

Then she realized something.

Tears.

Tears poured from her eyes, and she also came to the shock of her own sobbing.

Stifling a small hiccup, she buried her head in her blankets for a solid minute before wiping away extra salty droplets and sighing.

A small snore caught her off guard.

Matron had her head leaning against the windowsill, light red curls bouncing as her head shifted  to an apparent comfy position.

Heh, guess ghosts could sleep after all.

Or at least, mildly be tranced in a coma-like state.

Coma...

Katelyn...

Sudden helplessness overwhelmed her, and she forced herself not to start making noises as the tears welled up again.

Why couldn't she do better, why?!

She suddenly felt the urge to just lay there for all of eternity.

"Stay strong." She weakly whispered to the night that didn't listen as it passed. "You can do it. Just believe. Heh."

Turning on her side, she dangled her legs off the bedside. "Why do I even bother sometimes...I'm such a hypocrite, going against my own advice. How can I spread faith when I don't believe myself?"

Truly, this was a troubling question with no one to answer her in the silent night.

Huddling and clutching her blankets, Aphmau pondered the very meaning of life.

People always said. "Live life to the fullest, do what you want with it. It's about taking risks, making mistakes, and doing what you think is right."

There were also those people who blamed life for many things, and chose to use it as a funny meme occasionally (Guilty as charged here ma'm), but otherwise, the meaning of life has been sought by many.

According to some people, those who search for it will eventually find it in their lives.

But what do you do when you don't know what to do with your life?

What if there are no risks to take?

And the risks that you can take turn into mistakes that are fatal and end the very life you are trying to live?

And what if you don't know if what you're doing is right?

That argument often set up what we called 'Angsty Teen Years.' (Author self-inserts her own problems in the story, shocking!!!)

But Aphmau wasn't a teenager anymore, not my physicality I mean.

Sure, her body was fully grown (Still short sadly) and matured, but she still acted like an eager ten year old sometimes.

Matron's light snoring were the only sounds Aphmau listened to for the next hour or so.

Or was it simply minutes that felt like an hour?

Eh, she was too lazy to check. (Same tbh)

Her hair was probably an eagle nest of sorts, strands strewn about, clumps clasped together, and maybe a couple unattaching themselves to the bed sheets to stay until somebody thoughtful decided to wash them off. (That somebody definitely not being herself)

"Where is belief when you need it?" She asked out loud, a bit too loudly.

The rhythmic snoring that once accompanied the silence stopped, causing Aphmau to gulp.

"What did you just ask?" Matron's head drowsily tilted as she sort of floated upward.

"Where is belief when you need it." Aphmau said, tired and not even bothering to morph her words into a question. "How does one find the life of things when they can't even be alive themselves."

"Psh, like you would know what not being alive is like." Matron rolled her eyes.

"You know what I mean." Aphmau muttered.

"I do, and I honestly don't care what mid-life crisises you're getting right now. I'm just angry you woke me up with your constant rambles."

"Do you have anything to suggest for me to do other than try sleeping?" Aphmau whisked her eyes away immeditently after.

"I dunno, get out of this room and let me rest, or go find the meaning of life." Matron shrugged with annoyance, turning her back away from the ravenette.

"You can't just find the meaning of life in a single day." Aphmau's heated frustration rose. "Life doesn't work that way."

"Does it not?" Matron yawned. "Well I don't give a crap."

"Fine then, let me ask you. What makes you believe?" Aphmau's crossed arms stubbornly indicated an answer.

"What kind of an idiotic question is that?" Matron sneered. "You don't just go around questoning people's beliefs."

"Well I apparently do." Aphmau snorted. "What gives you the will to continue going after your goals? What gives you that fiery power to go on?"

"I don't know if you noticed yet shorty," Matron's unsympathetic glare mocked her evenly. "but I'm not exactly on the best of terms with you right now-"

"It's not like you ever were." Aphmau growled. "And it seems you have no reason for it either, and no willlingly to explain it."

"-but I would say if anything gives me the acknowledgement of will, it's your pitiful existence." Matron said, dismissing Aphmau's interruption.

"Thanks, you're sooooooo helpful." Aphmau snapped, her anger finally caving into one large ball of steam she needed to set lose.

"Always happy to help." Matron's reply was equally intoxictaed with scorn.

Dragging her covers up to her neck, Aphmau hefted her pillow so it blocked out any view of the ghost.

As she calmed herself, Aphmau took a deep breath and took one thing into consideration.

Something about Matron's words was...inspiring in a way.

'-but I would say if anything gives me the acknowledgement of will, it's your pitiful existence.'

Aphmau's pure being, her entire existence was the apparent reason Matron was still so striving to make Aphmau as miserable as possible.

So, in the sense of the time, Matron's fighting cause was Aphmau...

...

Who was Aphmau's fighting cause?

...

All her friends, her family, her pets, almost everybody she cared dearly for in a way, those were her causes.

Perhaps amongst the most common of causes, but that didn't make them any less dignified than they were.

If a cause was worth fighting for, it was a cause.

Aphmau inhaled her own selfish thoughts previously. 

She did have a reason.

She did have a will.

She did have a reason to live.

'Live.' Claire's voice had echoed in the dream.

At this very moment, something else happened as Aphmau recollected her thoughts.

Claire's voices whispered to her.

It was soft, so soft, quieter than a whisper even, almost a muttering.

'Live dear sister, live and realize that your causes have been right around you this whole time.'

***

Ooooo

So do the words in the previous chapter actually MEAN anything? ;3

Or is this just the author playing with your minds~ Muahhahahahhaha-