Matches ♕ Bughead

♕ | Chapter Five

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Chapter Five: building blocks

♕betty♕

THERE'S A MIXED array of feelings floating around my head. I feel numb, lost. I'm not angry at anyone in particular, not even Veronica despite what happened last night. I don't want to think about what the two of them did in that closet. If I think too much, I feel as if I'm falling into a never-ending hole of darkness. It makes me feel like I want to just disappear, or start over even. Just rewind back a couple years to when we were all too young and immature to make such choices.

I'm not angry at anyone, because I'm angry at myself. I would give anything just to go back five years from now, to warn little Betty Cooper that the boy she dreams over, the boy she supports, laughs and cries with doesn't like her the way she imagines him to. I wish I could erase the picture I had painted in my mind of a future that could never exist. If only I'd seen the signs earlier, I could have avoided this devastation. I could have avoided getting mad at Veronica, saved our friendship.

It's now fifth period, the weather incredibly gloomy, making me extremely moody as well. The skies speak warnings of rain and thunder, only dampening the mood on everything. I can't get the image of an unconscious Archie out of my head. I wanted to scream, to cry even, but I didn't. Jughead was the one thing holding me back, keeping me sane. I almost feel embarrassed for gripping onto his hand so hard. Almost.

"Betty, guess what." Kevin gasps excitedly, speed walking over to me as we make our way to last period.

"Moose finally admitted he's gay." I guess, holding my binder tight against my chest.

"What?" Kevin scrunches his nose up. "Pff, I wish." He sighs. "But no, actually this is news concerning you." He says.

"Is Archie okay?" I ask worriedly, not even thinking about the words before they leave my mouth.

Kevin gives me a disapproving look, nearly rolling his eyes. "Yes, he's fine. Perfectly fine to preform in tonight's game might I add." He says. "But Betty, you're not still heads over heels for him are you?" He asks seriously.

"No, I'm not." I sigh, biting my lip.

"Good, because you deserve better." Veronica suddenly says, holding a bouquet of yellow flowers in her hands. The words 'you deserve better' keep ringing around and around my head, never truly sinking in. I keep hearing those words from everyone around me, from Veronica, Kevin, and even Archie. My crush thinks I deserve better, and that's like getting hit in the stomach with a soccer ball. I don't want better, I want him. Or wanted him.

"The yellow is for friendship." She says, passing over the bouquet. I gladly take them, forcing a smile. "And, I had special cupcakes flown in from New York. As my mom likes to say, there is no wrong the right cupcake can't fix." She smiles, holding out a box.