Matches ♕ Bughead

♕ | Chapter Twenty-Six

chapter twenty-six: amber alert

♕betty♕

I KEEP the same jovial smile on my face during my walk home, even as I walk through the door. Subconsciously my smile grows larger once I realize my parents aren't even home, giving me an opportunity to lose myself in the thoughts that swarm my mind without having the pressure of conforming into a fake personality I seem to be presenting nowadays when around my parents. I find that whenever I'm around them, I seem to be guarded, afraid to be myself. I figure they must feel the same seeing as we are all hiding secrets from one another.

I walk up to my bedroom and lay down on my bed, staring at the ceiling idly. I subconsciously bring my fingers up to my mouth, brushing the pads of my skin over my lips, reminiscing about how they felt the gentle touch of Jughead's lips not ten minutes ago. I want so very badly to rewind time not so I could erase what we did but rather reduce the speed in which it passed. I wish we kissed longer. I wish he never broke apart. I wish he was here with me now. All of these things I find myself pondering about, and frankly I don't think I've ever thought about Jughead so much.

I always knew that our friendship was growing, but never did I expect to actually feel something for him. Little Jughead Jones was my childhood friend, whose treehouse protected me from the reality of life, and now he was my teenage first love, still protecting me from the harsh reality life has thrown upon us. The only difference now was that before he protected me from bullies at school, parent scoldings, studying for tests. Now however he protects me from something far greater than any of us could imagine we'd be getting into. Now he protects me from myself, from my darkened thoughts and my deep brooding. He helps organize my treacherous thoughts that seem to eat away at my brain, scaring them into place to help me think.

Before I use to think his treehouse was an escape from reality, but maybe the whole time it was Jughead. Maybe this whole time it was Jughead who made me feel safe, who made me feel welcomed like I actually belong.

Nothing but thoughts of Jughead in mind, I reach over and tap my bed, searching for my phone. Without looking up I snatch the object and hold it up above my face, squinting as the bright light shines directly in my field of view, burning my retina for a split second before my pupils quickly adjust.

I can't help but frown once I see Jughead hasn't texted me, but I have to remind myself not to get too worked up about such a silly thing. Before I would always answer Jughead's texts right away out of curiosity, but now I wish to read them for an entire different reason. It appears everything about my perception of Jughead has changed tonight, or perhaps it was just brought to life. Perhaps its been there for a long time.

It almost makes me feel guilty as I can't understand why I never considered Jughead as more than a friend before. If we were such great friends and he treated me so well, why the hell did the thought of a romantic relationship not cross my mind?