Matches ♕ Bughead

♕ | Chapter Forty-Eight

chapter forty-eight: repercussions 

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♚jughead♚

YOU KNOW   that feeling of deep despair and sorrow you get when your dad becomes accused of murder, and admits to doing it? 

No? To be fair, neither did I until a day ago. 

There are no words to describe how shocking and heartbreaking it is to have someone you've known your whole life, someone you admire, look up to and love to be accused and admitted to committing such a vile and inhumane act as murder. The worst part was looking into Cheryl's eyes yesterday, and seeing the aftermath of what my father did in person. She was right. I was living with a murderer, attempting to love him too. It makes me question what type of person I am. 

I lay awake on the floor of Archie's room, unable to sleep. I'm simply not tired, and too overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions to even think about sinking into sleep. I know that if I sleep, I will forget about all that has unravelled, and trick myself into believing that it was all just a dream. I know that when I wake up again, I will only be disappointed once more as the reality quickly sets in. So for now I stay awake, contemplating everything and anything in hopes of doing anything but boring myself to death. However, at the moment death sounds rather peaceful. For once in my life I understand the reasoning behind suicide, what goes through one's mind during the initial process. I'm not suicidal however- at least I don't think I am. I would never do that to Betty. Honestly, at this point she's just about the only person keeping me going. 

She called me late last night, her voice panicked and raspy as she told me perhaps the most shocking discovery yet. Apparently, the Coopers is a made up name, created in the wake of a Blossom murder. Betty's great grandfather was murdered by a Blossom, but in truth he was also a Blossom. The feud went so deep, that the one side of the family adopted a new name. Long story short, that means Polly and Jason were related, meaning there's an incentive as to why the Blossoms would want Jason dead; to contain the secrete and keep him and Polly apart. 

The good news is, Polly is back in the Cooper house, under their roof safe again. I offered to go over there, lay with Betty until she fell asleep but she said there was no point considering she too wasn't going to be sleeping either. I assume her and Polly spent the night talking anyways. 

Betty and I talked for a bit too, avoiding the elephant in the room until she eventually brought it up. The moment she started talking about my father her voice went soft and gentle, in a sort of soothing way that made my lips curl up in a smile. Even now thinking about it my heart feels lighter. 

She suggested I visit my father. Confront him despite what he's done, or been accused of doing. She said it would help me cope, and perhaps help me understand if he did commit the crime, or if he's just plain lying. Nothing adds, and there are several gaping holes with his confession, including the fact that apparently the gun had been framed in his apartment. Initially I refused going to visit him, but thinking back on it now, I know it's the right thing to do.