Freshman

Brace yourself

Mel's POV

Dani, she's constantly getting in trouble, or injured. The entire world seems to revolve around her 80% of the time. And sometimes? I really can't stand it.

She's going out with this Will guy, she dumps him, then they get back together. Now she's got this innocent sweetheart Jeremy in the palm of her hand, and she's holding his heart on a weak string.

I've known Dani my whole life, and I love her dearly but she's always been the great manipulator. She always had to be in control of everything, and would tell me what to say and do when we played together as kids. Now here she is with this adorable guy, and she doesn't even realize how desperately he loves her. It's so obvious!

I can't think like this, I just feel like it's the Dani show, like it's always the Dani show. I can't do anything but make a cameo.

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I huffed, and reached for my keys out of my bag. I had just gotten off the phone with Eileen, and we both agreed we shouldn't say anything about what happened yesterday.

"Momma!" I yelled as I passed through the door, and closed it behind me. "I'm home!"

"It's just me butt face!" Dad yelled from the couch, and I scoffed.

"Fatty!" I teased him back, and left my shoes at the door. I walked down the hallway, keeping a hand on the wall and stopping by the tv. But not directly in front of it.

"Dad?" I asked, and he looked up from his relaxed position on the couch.

"What do you want?" he took a swig of his beer. "Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend?"

"Jason's away for the weekend" I told him, and sat on the couch next to his. He shrugs, and switches the channel. Great, now we're watching sports centre.

"People like me, right Dad?" I asked quietly. He let out a hearty laugh. "Frankly, I hate your guts"

"C'mon, be serious" I pleaded. "You don't think I'm a loser, right?"

"Of course I do"

"Dad!" I complained and he chuckled. "No, I like you. Why do you ask?"

"No reason" I pursed my lips, and stared at the screen. Some football guys were in an interview. Whatever. He sat up straight, and set the beer on the coffee table.

"Is someone bullying you?" he asked and I shook my head. Lies.

If that Josie b*tch is giving you any hell, I will show up to that school with a gun"

"Dad c'mon"

"I'm serious, she's been a b*tch since you were in first grade" he says, and sinks into the couch a little. She has? I can barely remember first grade.

"Well, she's not bugging me. I'm just second guessing myself" I told him. He leaned forward, and looked me in the eye.

"If that little slut says one word to you, you tell me.Understand? I'm a cop, I will arrest her". I laugh at the thought of Josie screaming "I didn't do it!" as she's slammed against the hood of a car.

"Thanks Dad" I get up, and head for the hallway. He suddenly calls out my name. "Mel?" He asked, and I whipped around.

"That's about as sentimental as we're going to get, you have the face of a monkey"

"And you're still fat" I told him and jogged up the stairs.

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The world's most annoying sound? By far it's most definetly the alarm clock.

"Get up Melissa!" Mom yelled from the hallway. I rolled over in my sheets, and pulled my self under. I can't go to school! Not if Josie's there.

"Melissa! Your father is going to take the shower any second!" She hollered, and I only tried to hide further in. There was soft knock at my door.

"Mel?" asks Mom. "You alright?"

"No" I moaned, and she took a seat on my bed. "Are you sick?" I sat up.

"I think so" I coughed, and she raised an eyebrow. "Are you really sick?"

"Yes" I moaned again for dramatic effect, and propped myself up on my elbows. "Mom, I can't go to school"

"Why not?" she pressed a hand to my forehead. "You don't have a temperature" Sh*t.

"My stomach is killing me" I told her, and she still was trying to sum up my behavior. I put a hand on the lower half of my stomach. "Ow my ovaries are exploding"

She snorted. "I'm sure they are, go to school" she got up, and headed for the door. She was out of eyesight, so I fell back in my bed.

"Now!" she demanded from the hallway, and I grumbled as I got up.

"Yeah" Dee Dee toddles over, she pulls the pacifier out of her mouth. "Yeah" is pretty much all she says right now. I shove past her.

"Mommy!" she screeches, and I cover my ears at the pitch of her voice. Geez.

__________________________________

Okay, this is it. You can do it. Brace yourself. You've done it so many times before. It'll be a breeze, really.

It's so easy to just walk in, I'm already late. I just have to run in, and hope I make it to my locker in time. I head up the stairs, and straight for my locker. The before class buzz is the same as usual, till I'm caught in their view.

Have you ever walked in somewhere and realized people were just talking about you? I have.

Everyone went silent, and I took a deep breath as I passed through the crowd. They parted like the red sea as soon I walked past. If only this happened on a normal basis, not the fact that I'm all over facebook.

There was a few low hisses, and comments made under people's breaths. But I held my head up high, and exhaled.

I just have to pretend like nothing's wrong.

I remember once asking Dani about Rachel.

"What did it feel like? If you don't mind me asking." I was about eleven when I asked this, and we had just heard a story on the news about a girl who commited suicide because of bullying. A thirteen year old Dani pursed her lips, and Alysha eyed her from across the room. Had I said too much?

"It felt horrible. Like I wasn't worth anything, but at one point I just stopped caring. I had to hold my head up high, and pretend like it didn't hurt me"

"It did though, didn't it?" I asked, and Dani nodded.

"But you see that's the best way to hurt them, to pretend like you aren't hurt. After a while, it doesn't feel like you're hurt anymore. You just get used to it"

That's what I had to do, pretend it didn't hurt me. Because that was the best way to get Josie back. I had to pretend like it was nothing, or that I didn't even know about the facebook page.

It was working, until I caught Jason's eye.