Freshman

Happiness

Dani's POV

"What do you mean no?" He asks, astounded.

To be honest, I didn't have damn clue as to how I should respond to Will's proposal. What I did know, was that it was time to get my shit together. I knew I wasn't ready for this, and saying yes wouldn't be the right thing to do. I don't know if I want to marry Will, I'm not even sixteen years old! What the hell is he thinking?"
"I don't think I'm ready for that type of commitment." I tell him honestly. "What are you thinking giving me this anyway? Will, I am not even sixteen years old, and you think you've got the future planned? Can I at least finish high school before you hit me with a bomb like this?"

I exhale, and run my fingers through my hair. I feel the anger and frustration building up like a Jenga tower, unstable and ready to break any minute.
"Dani." I look around, avoiding eye contact. Something else, Jeremy's been staring at that poster for a good five minutes now.

Is it possible Will's trying to hide something from me with the ring?
"Will, are you hiding something from me?"
"Why would you think that?" He asks, his doe eyes looking down at me.
"I feel like you're keeping something from me, and that's why you gave me the ring. To cover it up."
"I promise I didn't." He crosses his heart, for once in his life, Will looked truly depressed. I hate that, I hate that I caused that.

"I'm really sorry Will, I love you very much. But I just don't think that this is the right step for us right now. I really feel that we should be moving slower."
"Okay." He sighs, turning around and walking away from me.
I nod. He walks down the hall, my heart aches. I know Will, he's hiding something and he's trying to cover it up, and I'm going to find out what it is. Just not now.

Jeremy's POV

As soon as Will leaves, Dani turns around to look at me. "Jeremy, could you drive me home? I don't feel so well."
I nod, I have no words.

I want to say I'm proud of Dani for the decision she made, since she finds it so hard to say no to him. But now, I feel like everything is different. I can't describe it.

After we went to the office, signed out Dani, and got permission from both her parents and mine for me to drive her home, we climbed into the front seat of the van, driving in silence.

She fell asleep during the drive home. It'd be cheesy if I said she looked perfect curled up in a ball in the passenger's seat of my Mom's minivan, but she does.

I look at Dani one last time, before we pull into the driveway.
"Hey, wake up." She inhales through her nose, her eyes fluttering open.
"Thanks again for the ride home Jer," She sits up, unbuckling her seat belt. "Do you want to come over after school?"
"I think I'm good, I have a project I need to do." I lie. She raises an eyebrow.
"Yeah, that's fine. I think I'm going to have a nap anyway." She says biting her bottom lip.
"Well, bye" She hops out of the car, and walks toward her house.

I turn the car back on, headed back for school.

I just..I don't know with Dani anymore. I feel like I can't love her anymore. She's never going to feel the same way, and I don't know if I can put myself through this anymore. I want to believe she turned down Will for me, and maybe she feels the same way, but I'm overwhelmed by this sense of knowing that she doesn't feel the way I do. I can just picture myself finally saying I love her, and her responding "I love you Jeremy, but not in that way."

Do you know what it feels like, to be so in love with someone and know they don't love you back? You watch them everyday and see them happy with that other person, and you can't do anything about it, because you love them so much you'd rather have them be happy with someone else than be with you. And it hurts so much...but you just sit back and watch their happiness while you're own shatters, that's what if feels like to love Dani.