Freshman

Just let me hug you

Mel's POV

"Jason" I breathed out his name, and his brown eyes burned into me. He looked near ready to cry, I've never seen him like this. He glanced at me, and tore through the crowd.

He stood in front of me, his silence speaking louder than anything he could ever say.

It was like the entire buzz around me shifted to complete and utter silence. The only thing I can focus on is how his brown eyes have seemed to change colour, to an empty shade of black. Like he was devoid of life.

"Mel, I" he starts in his voice, the voice that was the only thing I wanted to hear. I can't reply, let alone breath.

My body's only response is to wrap my arms around him, and feel his warmth comfort me.

"Please don't say anything" I whispered, somehow finding my voice. "Just let me hug you"

His arms wrapped around me for a few moments I didn't want to let go of.

"I don't know where to start" I whispered to him, and felt his arms squeeze me a little tighter.

"Mel we're in the middle of the hallway. Let's go somewhere more private so we can talk. We've got ten minutes anyway"

I nodded, and slid my hand into his grasp as we walked through the crowd.

You gotta keep your head up, and pretend like the pain doesn't hurt you. Pretend like each word they say isn't another stab at your heart, cracking it and tarnishing it's gold. Pretend like it's okay, because eventually you'll become numb to it.

It'll just become routine, and eventually you won't feel anything anymore. You won't feel pain, but you won't feel happiness. You'll just linger, as a piece of conversation, or someone who'll only ever be in the background.

"Where can we go that's private? We have like ten minutes" I asked him and he shrugged. "We could always get Eileen and ditch school. Do you have any money? We could take the bus somewhere"

"Are you crazy? We can't skip school?!" I exclaim.

"C'mon I'll buy you something at the mall, it might brighten your spirits"

"Jason..."

"C'mon. I think that we're since big losers we should go out and have some fun".

"Okay, but only if Eileen comes"

"Fine we'll bring her too" he half complained and I grinned.

"You just made me cave to peer pressure you know" I tell him as we start our search for Eileen. "That's a sin" I add and he snorts.

"I'm sure it is Mel" he laughs.

I think right now I'm just trying to stay happy, because I don't want my mind to wander and I don't want to go to drastic measures.

I don't know how I'm going to release all this pain.

___________

That's how I found myself walking around the mall instead of in first period math.

"Are we losers?" asks Eileen as we passed a clothing store.

"I don't think we are" says Jason as he slipped his hand into mine.

When Eileen wasn't looking, I felt him plant a warm kiss on my neck.

"Jason!" I backhanded his arm.

"Why do I hang out with couples?" Eileen groaned, and I laughed.

"We were near tears an hour ago, let's get back to our conversation please" says Eileen quite sassily.

"Does anyone think what Josie said is true. She's just a b*tch" Jason says solemnly.

"Why does she hate us so much? What did we ever do?" Asks Eileen.

"What did I ever do?" I correct her, and she cocks her head at me.

We find our way to the food court, and take a seat by the fro-yo place.

"What do you mean you?" asks Jason.

"A lot of the stuff was written about Mel specifically" points out Eileen, and I feel myself tense.

"Yeah" I say, and avoid their gazes.

"Do you think Josie said that cuz we're her friends?" Eileen asks and I shrug. What did I do to Josie to make her hate me so much? That she'd want to hurt my friends? Why can't she just target me?

"I understand if you don't want to hang out with me, I wouldn't want too" I tell her and Eileen almost laughs.

"Why are you laughing?" I can feel tears forming.

"I'm sorry, but why would I not want to hang out with you? You're my best friend! Josie's full of sh*t"

A wave of relief washes over me. "Thanks Eileen" I hug her from my seat in between her and Jason.

"So what are we going to do about it?" asks Jason and I shrug.

"I don't know, we can't tell anyone or it'll just get worse" I point out and he nods.

I listen to Eileen's fingers drum on the table slowly.

"So what can we do?" asks Jason.

"Nothing" I tell him. "There's nothing we can do"

"So we just put up with her sh*t?" Eileen scoffs. "Yeah that's a good plan, and when she does something worse we'll do nothing then either"

"There's nothing we can do" Jason says and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Maybe we could just like put up with it, at least we have each other" suggests Eileen.

"I guess you're right" I reply and look at the food court in front of us, it's the middle of the day. So naturally, no one's here. The place is empty.

I feel like I'm going to cry, right here in the mall. What did I do to make her hate me so much?

Is it the way I dress? How I look?

Jason looks at me, with such concern. I feel his fingers reach for my hand under the table, he gives it a squeeze.

"We should go shopping. Get our minds off of this" Eileen says and I nod.

I always liked clothing shopping.

So that's what we did, we made Jason try on clothes and we tried on clothes. We shopped, and made each other laugh.

At one point, Jason strutted out of the changing room in a sparkly t-shirt with a feather boa.

"That's your man" Eileen hissed in my ear as we sat on the bench. I tried not to laugh.

"It's not too much is it?" He said and whipped his arm so he could rest it on his hip.

He stood in his sassy pose, and turned his head to face us.

"I'm beautiful!" He exclaimed and I laughed.

He lowered the sunglasses from the bridge of his nose to the tip and eyed me. "This is for you, I'm doing this for you" My only response was laughter towards his crazy outfit.

That's what I want Mel" he said. "Just to hear you laugh."

When Eileen went in to try on some clothes, I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I want you to be okay, I want us to be okay" he whispered into my ear, and kissed my cheek. I instantly felt warmer, and a little calmer.

And at least for a day, I felt a little better.

A/N I might have a Dani update tomorrow, not sure. Depends on my editor.

I'm sorry I've been taking so long to update, life has been crazy lately.

I'm pretty much bombing every quiz I take now.....I wish things were easy for me. As if life isn't hard enough.

Least I have my four readers.

-Smiles