Malec One Shots

3. Sorry

~
Song ~ Ruelle - I Get To Love You
~

Alexander sat on the floor of the loft, peeling through a photobook that was shoved hastily into the bookcase Magnus had. It was between 'The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe' and 'Crocheting Patterns for Dummies'.

Alec smiled at pictures of Magnus in different eras. A painting of him in the Ming Dynasty, China.

A black and white photograph of him posing next to two men and a woman looking quite well dressed, London.

Another black and white photograph of him in a sharp looking suit next to another guy holding a shotgun, his nails still painted black as always and a cigar in the ashtray in front of him, New York.

A pastel photo of him wearing a leather jacket and black jeans whilst posing next to a motorbike, a diner in the background, Lousiana.

Alec would never tell Magnus but he loved flicking through stuff like this, seeing Magnus throughout the eras, how he adapted to what was happening, seeing that even though he was over 800 years old, he still looked as beautiful as ever.

Alec smiled as he flipped a page, then frowned. It was a Polaroid of him kissing this woman, full on the mouth. He stared at it for a while, feeling a pang of jealousy then pain. Sure it looked old, and probably happened ages ago, but Alec couldn't get the handle of the idea that Magnus would kiss someone else like he kissed him.

Magnus had been in multiple relationships before Alec, it was inevitable, Magnus was over 800 after all. Alec knew this, but it didn't stop his feelings from acting up.

Alec started thinking after closing the book and slipping it back between 'The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe' and 'Crocheting Patterns for Dummies'.

He thought about how many times Magnus had done 'stuff' with someone else. How far he'd gone.

Alec always seemed to be a little weird about that stuff, and believed that if he was going through with sex then he had to trust the person with his heart and soul, and not just go for it without thinking. He loved Magnus, he really did, and he trusted him with everything, but they hadn't taken that step yet.

He put his head in his hands and sunk onto the bed he and Magnus shared.

He carried on thinking, letting his irrational thoughts run wild. He never heard the door click shut, or Magnus' obnoxious singing as he kicked his shoes off and slid through the loft to where Alec was all the time, which was the bedroom where he'd read or write.

Alec blinked slowly, tiredness making his eyelids heavy and his body movements slow. He didn't even look up when Magnus stepped through the door, making his way to his shadowhunter.

Magnus sat beside Alec and theorised what would make Alec feel that mad as to not talk to his boyfriend.

"Alexander, what's wrong?" Magnus hummed, moving a hand from his side up to Alec's face. Alec bit his lip and took the hand on his face and held it, trembling. Alec was insecure. He always had been. Not about his abilities or anything like that, but about love, and Magnus, and what he was and wasn't capable of doing with him.

They still hadn't had a first time, but they had kissed, and had removed each other's clothes, and slept in the same bed, but Alec had been too scared to go any further. Scared that when it actually happened that Magnus would drop him, would let him go. Of course that would never happen, Magnus wouldn't dream of letting Alec slip through his fingers.