Malec One Shots

33. Cold

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Song ~ Terrible Sons - When I Don't Speak
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Ever since Jace had died, Alec hadn't been much of a talker. The Parabatai bond only half completed had cut a part of Alec, severed and carved his soul. It was a bond, Alec and Jace's souls were bound angelically. The rune had faded, left as a pink scar, and Alec felt empty. He still lived with Magnus, obviously, but Magnus was of no help. He tried his best to help Alec. He really did. But nothing would coax Alec out of his shell, or out of his and Magnus' wine red bedsheets. He hadn't showered in a while, his hair flat against his head, his runes fading to grey. When they hadn't been retraced they faded in colour, and the only one Alec had gone over with his stele was the numbing rune. It was usually used for medical reasons, stitches and the sort, but it gave Alec a good hour of nothingness. It gave him something to hold on to. Better to feel nothing than to feel everything at once, right? Right? Well Alec definitely thought so. Every day he and Magnus woke up together, well Magnus woke up. Alec never slept anymore. Magnus made Alec food and drinks daily, taking them into the bedroom where Alec laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling. Alec just stayed in bed all day and night, sitting up to retrace the numbing rune on his ankle every few hours. When Magnus had to go somewhere, when he was called out for a meeting, Alec took the chance to cry and yell and scream and thrash. Who was there to hold him down? To tell him to calm himself?

Magnus sighed and turned a page in his spell book. A member of the Praetor Lupus went to Magnus in search of a spell that even he didn't know of. Magnus had been flipping through books all day, only resting to check on Alec. Alec who was still in bed. Alec who's eyes were glassy from the numbing rune. Alec who didn't talk anymore. He got to his feet and went into the kitchen, making two cups of coffee. He took one into the bedroom where Alec was, and saw the shadowhunter leaning over with his stele in hand and just about to retrace the numbing rune. Magnus placed the coffee down, and stepped closer to Alec to kiss his head. He curled his fingers around the back of Alec's neck softly, and physically felt Alec's shoulders drop and his body relax. Magnus waved a hand in the air, blue sparks fluttering around his fingers, and Alec felt cleaner. Magnus had made it so Alec didn't need to get up and get a shower. Alec gave a silent prayer to his boyfriend. Magnus turned to leave, and Alec glanced at the mug of coffee on the beside table then at Magnus. "Magnus." Alec croaked. His voice was more or less gone now, and it sounded hoarse and cracked. The warlock turned with such enthusiasm that he nearly slipped and fell. Alec looked down at his thighs. "Thank you. For everything." He stuttered part way through his words, an effect of not talking for weeks. "I love you, Alexander." Magnus breathed out, before leaving the room. 'I love you too' Alec thought to himself and fell back onto the bedsheets again. Magnus took a few minutes to himself, then picked up his steaming mug of coffee and went back into the bedroom. Alec's eyes were glazed over, he felt so numb. Magnus put his cup next to Alec's and rested then back of his hand against Alec's forehead. His temperature was through the roof. An effect of the numbing rune. It was meant to be used for medical reasons, so like the iratze it raised body temperature to try and cook whatever impurities were in the body. Magnus crawled onto the bed beside Alec, and pulled the shadowhunter into his lap. Alec had no clue what was happening. He'd gotten that used to the rune on his ankle that it had been his escape. He didn't feel, hear, see. He sensed Magnus was there, but didn't feel him. His body was on lockdown.

Magnus carded his fingers through Alec's again-soft hair, and now and again let his fingertips brush against Alec's face. His expression was blank, his lips full, his eyes hazy but still blue. He still looked like Alec. Sick, but still Alec. After a while Magnus laid Alec off of him, parting his fringe absentmindedly before leaving. He ditched his coffee in the bedroom too. He'd promised Catarina, Catarina Loss, that he'd pick up Madzie from her care and babysit while she had her shift at the hospital. She'd usually set up a normal babysitter for her, but the last one went running when Madzie opened up a portal in the living room. Magnus threw on a silk scarf, and conjured a portal in the doorway to the kitchen. He stepped in, kissing both Catarina's cheeks, then left holding Madzie. The portal hadn't been closed at all so when Alec heard the familiar 'whoosh' and the sudden halt he thought Magnus had just left, not returned in a few seconds. He started to cry again. He let the tears soak into his pillow, then shook and sobbed. Magnus heard, and instead of making a commotion he told Madzie to come with him into the study. He kneeled in front of her. "Madzie. Alec isn't well, so don't go into that room, okay? I need you to stay here while I go get some people. Can you do that?" He whispered. Madzie nodded. "Alright. Good girl. Stay here." Magnus opened a portal with one hand and stepped in. He got out in the middle of the institute. Isabelle took a glance at him and then ran to his side, engulfing him in a hug. Magnus pulled back. "It's Alexander." Magnus breathed out. Isabelle clutched at his canvas jacket sleeves until her knuckles turned white. She held her breath. "What? Is he okay?" She rushed, keeping her grip. "He waits till I leave the loft to cry. He uses numbing runes to block everything out. He doesn't talk. Isabelle I've been worried for so long now but I can't handle it. I love your brother too much." Magnus felt a tear push over and fall onto his cheek. He frantically wiped it away. Isabelle let go of Magnus hesitantly. "The Clave refuse to let anyone but you interact with him. Not even me or our mum. Just you. It's now law that I can't help. Or I'll be locked up. Alec is too unstable." Isabelle kept her composure, but Magnus could see the scared girl behind her dark eyes.

Alec felt the numbing rune wear off, and was reaching for his stele when he turned and saw Madzie stood in the doorway. He pushed himself further up the bed, till he was sitting up. "Madzie." He croaked. "He said you were sad, and not to come in here." She stated, her lisp making Alec smile a little. "He was right." Alec whispered, keeping eye contact with the warlock girl. "Can I give you a hug?" She asked, making her way over to Alec before he'd even replied. Alec nodded. He wouldn't turn Madzie down. She was too sweet for that. She had minor trouble clambering onto the high mattress but when she finally got up she fell on top of Alec and wrapped her small, chubby little arms around him. "I don't want you to be sad." "I don't want to be sad either." Alec answered, curling one of the plaits in her hair around his finger. "I can't stop being sad though. It's not a switch I can turn on and off." He sighed, and felt Madzie's arms around him tighten. "You're a nice man." She smiled into his block rune, before pulling from the hug. Alec fought the urge to scoff. "Thank you Madzie." He sighed. The warlock girl's eyes were drooping, so Alec laid her down and picked her up again. Her eyes were rolling back in their sockets, and she was halfway between sleep and consciousness. Alec bobbed her in his arms, rocking her from side to side. This was the most active, caring, and talkative he'd been in the past five weeks. When he saw she was sleeping, he relaxed and leaned back against his pillows again. Madzie slept soundly on Alec's chest, her little snores quiet but there nonetheless.

Magnus got back into the apartment, and saw Madzie was gone. The front door was shut and locked, the balcony doors the same. Shit she was with Alec. Magnus hoped he hadn't snapped. It had never happened, but Magnus was still wary of the possibility. He curled his fingers around the side of the bedroom door, before pushing it open bit by bit. He sighed in relief and a little sadness when he saw. Madzie sleeping on Alec's bare chest, Alec sleeping on his back, his head lolling to one side.

After a while had passed of Magnus watching the rise and fall of his boyfriend's stomach, he'd lifted Madzie from Alec and teleported her to Catarina's where she belonged. Alec didn't even stir. He needed the sleep. He hadn't let himself doze off for the past week, insomnia had taken hold, and even though he didn't show it he was so tired and couldn't go to sleep. Thank the angel for Madzie. Alec slept for hours, he didn't wake for a whole day. He'd slept for over fifteen hours. Magnus wasn't complaining, Alec needed the sleep. When he did wake up he felt more lively, even with the absence of part of his soul. He wrapped the red bedsheets around him and turned to the side to look at the clock. '7:37pm' it read, and Alec got to his feet. He was shaky and weak like bambi at first, but he got used to the feeling after a bit. He made his way from the bedroom to where Magnus was sitting on the sofa, reading. "Magnus." He whispered. His voice worked a little better, and it just sounded like it did in the mornings. Magnus turned and dropped his book on his lap. He stood up, his arms limp at his sides, and stepped towards Alec. He didn't want to step past any boundaries. Alec was still unstable as far as he knew. "Magnus I'm sorry." Alec let go of the sheets as he closed the gap between them and hugged him. Magnus raised a hand to run his fingers through Alec's hair. Alec hooked his fingers into the belt loops of Magnus' jeans and held him close like that. "Don't you dare say you're sorry." He cried into Alec's shoulder, tears sliding down the pale skin. He slid his hands up to Alec's face, and skimmed his thumbs over Alec's cheeks that were wet and shiny with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Magnus." Alec sighed, and dropped his head. Magnus tilted it back up with his hands, and kissed every square inch of it. "Alexander I love you. And what you're going through I've seen happen to others. It hurt more than I expected it to. I'm happy you're okay." Magnus left a lingering kiss on Alec's lips. Alec's lips that were salty with tears. Alec buried his face in Magnus' neck and they two stood there for a while, bodies twined together. "I'm sorry." "Stop apologising, Alec. Stop." Magnus kissed the crown of Alec's head, and felt the sharp jolt when Alec sobbed. "Don't cry. I love you, Alexander. Look at me." Magnus kept his eyes on Alec as he tilted his head back to look at him. Alec stifled a cry. "I love you. And all I want right now is you. I need you. Just lay with me, and sleep." Magnus exhaled. Alec nodded.

"Read to me, Magnus." Alec ran his fingers through Magnus' hair. Magnus nodded, sitting on the sofa, before pulling Alec on top of him and then making the blanket from on the floor hover and cover his boyfriend's bare back. Magnus picked his book up, and held it to his chest. He pressed a kiss to Alec's lips.

"Anything you want."