𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 » 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘻𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 ✓

fourty six

harry waited and waited for zayn to return back to his house after he went back home to have a talk with his parents, but he never came back for the rest of the night. now it was morning and harry didn't sleep so well. he never sleeps well anymore without zayn there with him. he feels safer when zayn's around and empty when he's gone. hopefully zayn comes back soon. or maybe zayn was spending some time with his family.

after all harry does feel a little like he's been soaking up zayn's time, maybe it's good to spend some time apart. harry doesn't wanna be selfish and keep zayn to himself. zayn's family is important too, so harry shouldn't be selfish about it. now thinking about it makes him feel bad. he knows how zayn's parents must feel about the whole zack situation and probably are coming to the terms with having to watch their son go away for a long time inside of a terrifying place known as prison. they all need each other.

but even though he felt bad, he couldn't help but mope around. harry laid in his bed quietly thinking a lot about everything. he really shouldn't, but he couldn't help it. it was all too fresh in his mind and he couldn't push it down no mater how much he tried. he just can't stop thinking about all the events over a very short period of time that's happened.

heavy thoughts sifted through his mind, accompanied by images. images that harry didn't want to think about this anymore but his brain betrayed him and kept replaying the events over and over again like rewind. harry sighs deeply, closing his eyes tightly and trying to rid the images from his mind, clutching the blankets around him. he suddenly feels cold and alone without zayn's warm body next to his. harry groans getting fed up with himself. he hates that he's so clingy and dependent on zayn. it's pathetic.

harry was pathetic, absolutely useless. harry hated feeling this way. pathetic, worthless, disgusting, and alone. whenever he was alone, he always got too into his thoughts and never were they anything positive. why would there be? when harry looked into the mirror, all he saw was someone who was used and abused, tortured and manipulated. he did that to himself, this was his own fault. if he had done one simple thing, everything that's happened could've been stopped. but he didn't and he got what he deserved. he got what he deserved for being weak.

harry buries his face into his pillow, whimpering softly at his taunting thoughts. he can feel a migraine sneak its way into his head, making it harder for his racing thoughts. he lies in his bed for the rest of the morning, trying to rule out his negative thoughts and try to forget for a while. but the longer he lies there, the more and more his head starts to hurt and his thoughts start to take over. harry rubs his temples as his eyes tear up. this was probably one of the worst migraines he's ever had, he felt like a jack hammer was jabbing at his skull.

throwing the covers off of him, he sluggishly walks out of his room and down to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water to take with some pain mess. he stops however when he hears familiar voices talking in the kitchen. his heart lurches in his chest when he hears zayn talking to his mum. he didn't even know zayn was here, or recall hearing a knocking on the door. he was so caught up in his thoughts. he was about to enter the kitchen, but he refrains, frowning.

"why would they do this?" harry hears his mum ask, her voice sounding low and strained. she sounded pretty upset and harry's frown deepens wondering what the two were talking about that was so upsetting they had to speak in private.

"because it's their son, he's sick and they want to 'help' him." zayn says sarcastically, and harry could tell he was clearly angry about something. sick? what did zayn mean sick and whose son was he referring to? harry was confused. "i'm so fucking pissed, i can't believe they're really doing this." zayn growls. harry's eyes widen, because zayn being the gentleman he was never swore in front of harry's parents without a valid reason, so something really must've been wrong.