Revenge A Mergana Story

Guilt Vs Love

Merlin and Arthur had been on the way to Castellum for about 20 minutes and Arthur hadn't said a word the whole time. They were both in the front with the Knights behind them.

"Arthur are you really not going to speak to me for the whole trip?" Merlin asked tired of the silence

Arthur simply didn't say anything and just stared straight ahead

"Arthur! Come on! I've apologized I'm sorry you know I'm a lousy servant this is really all on you for expecting too much of me," Merlin said hoping this would make Arthur smile, but it didn't he just stared straight ahead his face unchanging.

"Highness!" One of the Knights shouted from behind

Arthur stopped and turned around and shouted, "What is it?"

"Highness we need to stop to water the horses they weren't watered before we left," 

"Perhaps because we were running late," Arthur said and eyed Merlin who just let out a groan

"Merlin you'll water my horse," Arthur said and rode off towards the water

Merlin let out another groan

Arthur watched as Merlin watered the horses. He was smiling now. His skin was still pale, but it didn't have that unhealthy pallor anymore. 

"Are you humming?" Arthur asked 

"Oh, I guess I was," Merlin said with a smile and then started humming again

Arthur continued watching him suspicious of this sudden change in his demeanor, but not completely unsure about where it came from

"So are you going to tell me what you were doing that made you late," Arthur asked he was sitting on a log near the pond sharpening a stick.

Merlin who was still tending to the horses started blushing furiously

"Oh everyone knows what Merlin was doing," Gwaine said and hit Merlin on the back and then joined Arthur on the log

"Is that so?" Arthur asked still looking at his stick

Gwaine leaned in closer to Arthur and whispered,"Or rather who he was doing"

"I heard that," Merlin said 

"Gwaine!" Percival called 

"I'll be back my liege," Gwaine said half teasing half serious which Merlin realized might be the only setting that Gwaine had  

"So Merlin," Arthur said and patted the spot on the log where Gwaine had just left

"Arthur, Gwaine is just-," Merlin said and walked towards the log

"I know," Arthur said "So are you going to tell me what you were doing"

Merlin splayed his hands out and outstretched his knees "I was telling the Lady Morgana that we would be away," 

Arthur went back to sharpening his stick "Is there any particular reason that the Lady Morgana would need to know that"

"Well- I just thought- you know- she's your," Merlin tried to explain

Arthur looked up at Merlin and let out a sigh "Merlin listen I know that you and Morgana have always been close-"

"Well I wouldn't say close," Merlin interrupted

"You would sneak out nearly every night to see her!" Arthur exclaimed

"You knew about that?!" Merlin shouted

Arthur laughed "Of course I knew you would always have a dopey grin on your face and  you know the guards check the perimeter of the castle every night and they told me that they saw you two," 

"Oh," was all Merlin said he looked down at his palms 

"Merlin I just want to know do you love Morgana,"

Merlin examined the calluses on his hands "I-I think-" Merlin started

"Tell me what you think Merlin," Arthur said

"I think-," 

"Tell me what you think Merlin," Arthur interrupted

Merlin looked up at Arthur's smiling face "I think that being King has turned you into an even bigger prat," Merlin said with a smile

Arthur laughed "Is this how you speak to your king? I could have you thrown in jail for that!"

They both laughed

"I've missed this Merlin," Arthur said

"Missed what?" Merlin asked as he took a bite out of an apple he had gotten out of his pack

"Missed us. After Morgana disappeared you changed. But if she makes you like this then I'm happy for you"

Merlin was a little shocked that Arthur had even noticed anything "Are you giving me your blessing?" Merlin teased

Arthur smiled and then said, "I care very dearly for Morgana, but I know she's in a fragile state and you two always had a- a-a bond I guess is the right word," Arthur looked up to see if Merlin was paying attention and he saw that Merlin was watching him intently "I just don't want to see her hurt like last time," 

Merlin was shocked, "What are you talking about," Merlin didn't think Arthur knew that he had been using Morgana 

"Gaius told me...before he died," 

"Arthur I-," 

"You don't need to explain, but I want to know that you love Morgana and that it's not just guilt making you act this way," 

Merlin hesitated  "I- I- I," Merlin paused for a while as he thought of what to say. Arthur waited patiently giving Merlin time to find the right words. 

A few moments later he said, "I think that at first, I thought that it was just guilt making me feel like I had to care for her. But then when I saw her it was like everything melted away and it was just her and me. All I wanted was to be with her to touch her to hold her to tell her that I was so sorry for everything. And then when I found out that we had to leave I was gutted because I had finally gotten her back and to be separated again it's just so painful and I think that made me realize that it's not just guilt. Because if it was just guilt then I don't think that I would mind so much being away from her, but I do. I think I now and always have loved her I just didn't know it until I had lost her," Merlin looked up at Arthur to see his reaction, but he was just staring at the pond 

"If this is truly the way you feel Merlin then there's something you should know," Arthur said

Merlin didn't say anything and waited for Arthur to continue.

Arthur turned and looked at Merlin," Morgana is the rightful heir of Camelot"