Destroying everything {Lasercorn}

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Lex

I walked inside to see my brother on the couch. He seemed pretty chill I'm sure Lasercorn told him I was at his house but I was still sure he'd be upset. "Hey Wes." I said awkwardly and shut the door. I told Lasercorn not to stay because I was sure he'd explode. "Hey Lex." He spoke softly. "How you doing?" I said sitting next to him on the couch. "Pretty good." He said.

"Ok can we just get onto it. Interrogate me. Treat me like you're a parent. Something? I know you're upset." I said. "I just wanna know why you did it." He said. "I just wanted to drink away the pain. People say it works. I already knew the bartender and I told her to call someone who was on my speed dial. I had it covered." I said."I wanted to drink until my senses were numb hopefully I wouldn't have to feel the hurt I'm feeling right now." I spoke gruffly. "Alexis I und—"

"No you don't understand. You think you get it but you don't. Abbey was my best friend. The person who has helped me through alot of shit and put up with my bs. All of my crappy phases like my gangster phase when I would wear a bunch of snap backs and talked like a retarded walrus typed up something for me to say. The phase where all I talked about was Dan and Phil and phan."

"The phase where I was questioning what my sexuality was and was totally confused. The phase where I thought that I was in love with this guy who crushed my heart and made me actually almost commit suicide. The time where I was self harming. The time where I was a stoner. The time when I was into everything pastel and kawaii. When I was extremely nerdy and even went as far as to wear real looking fake glasses. All of my shit. Ryan went through it with me too. You don't understand Wes. And you never will." I said.

I covered my mouth after realizing my mention of past self harm and drug problem. "Alexis—" "No I'm sorry I know." I ran up too my room and locked the door. I hated everything about myself. The fact that I can't help but throw up all of my words. I start and then I can't stop. Its embarrassing and awful. I sat against the door and cried. I heard a slight knock.

"Alexis.....I know you're hurting. I'm not gonna make you talk about any of the things you mentioned. I know you don't want to. But please. Next time just talk to me. Don't leave unexpectedly without me knowing and go get wasted in a bar." He said through the door. "Ok." I said softly. I unlocked my door and got in bed. He didn't come in but I didn't come out either.

Me: I ended up exploding at my brother rather than the other way around.

Lasercorn: Oh. He was chill about you leaving like that?

Me: no. But I think with the sense of mind that I was safe he wasn't angry. I think he was upset that I could've potentially gotten hurt but didn't take it out on me.

Lasercorn: What are you doing?

Me: just laying in bed. I was crying but now I'm not.

Lasercorn: wanna go out and do something. I'll pick you up and we can go drive around and find something to do.

Me: that sounds great. When do you wanna come and get me? I kinda wanna shower before anything.

Lasercorn: Just text me when you're ready.

Me: Ok.

I showered and then walked out of my bathroom in my towel to find something to wear. I decided on my grey crop top that said 'ew people' in my top left corner in black letters and high waisted black skinny jeans with a red flannel around the waist. I put on my high top converse and put some black lipstick on. Go bold or go home. I also did the rest of my makeup and put on my skull bracelet and matching earrings.

I couldn't find anything to do with my hair so I just left it down. I texted Lasercorn telling him I was ready and I doodled a cartoon flying mouse. He texted me telling me he was here and I grabbed my phone and my creation and headed downstairs.

"Where are you headed to?" Wes asked. "I'm going to drive around with Lasercorn." I asked. "Ok stay safe. have fun." He said and I ran out to the car. I got in and buckled up. "Got any ideas of where to go." He asked. "I got a couple." I said. I took out my Flying mouse drawing and showed it to him. "I wanna tattoo of this, I'm thinking to dye my hair from black, and maybe another piercing." I said. "I like that drawing. If you do get a tattoo of it can I start calling you mouse?" He asks. "Yeah." I laughed.

"What color do you wanna dye your hair." He asked. "What color do you want me to dye my hair?" I asked. "Orange." He smiled. "No. Oh god no. You can pull off orange but I can't. I don't like bright colors like that." I said. "My hair is offended." He said pretending to take offense. "My eyes are offended." I said. "Wow ok. So what color do you wanna do it then?" He asked. "Well I won't do orange but I can do the complimentary color of orange. And that is...." I looked it up.

"Blue." I smiled. "Funny because I was thinking about doing it that color anyways. I wanna do like a dark blue." I said. "Thats cool. So which one do you wanna do first?" He asked me.

"Lets do the hair last because that might mess up my makeup and this is a masterpiece." I said. "Lets go get my piercing." I said. I directed him to a place that I searched up. They had good ratings and lots of people like the person by the name of Presley. We walked into the shop and I looked around. "How can I help you?" A girl with teal hair and gauges said. "Uh yeah can I see Presley?" I asked. "You're talking to her." She said with a slight country accent.

"Oh ok cool. That was easy. Umm I wanted to get a piercing. I heard good things about you." I said awkwardly. "Ok well I'd be glad to pierce you. What type do you want?" She asked. "Hmm didn't think that far. Let me see." I searched on my phone. "Is it possible for me to get an orbital, daith, and a transverse lobe?" I asked. "Man you're a little devil aren't ya. Yeah I can do it." She said. "Does she give you hell?" She looked at Lasercorn. I blushed slightly and I saw him smile.

"I mean video games is always crazy with her." He said. "Gamers nice." She said and then directed me to a chair. We got started and we began with the transverse lobe. That didn't hurt alot. Was it kinda weird? Yeah alittle bit but not unbearable. Next we did the orbital. That one was a little over transverse lobe but still wasn't unbearable. I did wince a bit though.

Last we did the daith. That one hurt the most for me. I got to choose which rings for each before I got them pierced. For the orbital I did a black one with a gold heart on it. For the transverse I did just a plain black and for the daith I did a lime green one. I paid and then we drove around a bit.

I wasn't sure on the tattoo yet just because I didn't want to do it and then in pain for the rest of the afternoon. We ended up going to do lasertag again together and we ate some delicious ice cream. We finally went to get my tattoo done.

It hurt quite a bit but I was thinking about getting another tattoo of like a quote. I got it on my left shoulder. Flying mouse and Lasercorn could talk and stuff. I also decided on a quote tattoo. It was 'Friend, please' in cursive. There is alot of mean in just those two words. I mean its the title of the song and the song is about suicide.

I got it on my forearm to where if I looked down I could read it. A reminder I'm not alone. Even if I think I am. I got that and then we decided we end off everything by going to the salon to dye my hair.

We listened to heathers the musical. First my favorite song and the song I felt LC would enjoy the most 'meant to be yours' and then I did them in order. It kinda just ended up with me serenading him with songs. Like 'Fight for me', 'Our love is god', and 'Dead girl walking'.

We got to the salon and we started on my hair. Once it was done my hair was dark blue and I took a picture posting it to instagram. I captioned it 'Look who got blue hair!'. Then we went home and surprised my brother.

"Woah you look different." My brother said. "Yeah I did some things." I said. I showed him my piercings and then I showed him the tattoos. We chilled out all together and then Lasercorn left and I went to bed.

I'm proud of everything I've accomplished so far. Like I love this book.